At this moment 5 years ago,  I was standing on a ‘George’ wrapper bemused,

as my mum & aunties surrounded me singing praises, shouting prayers, and vitally, pouring money at my feet. As far as traditions go, the Kalabaris win. It was the start of festivities for my traditional wedding. The family were soon joined by old Kalabari dressers. They bundled me into a bejeweled wrapper, towel twisted and hidden within, giving the illusion of bulk and much wider, child-bearing hips than my frame could ever boast. You see the Ijaws and the zaftig?

Sweet highlife music of the Port Harcourt variety, loud prayers, noisy laughter and at my end, mild confusion as to what tradition came next.

My highlight though, was my cousin bursting in as I worked my way into my corseted top,- air, who needs air when a tiny waist is to be had??-, she ran in shouting, “You have to see your husband dancing!!!” Cj had arrived, Isiagwu regalia and entourage ready, with enough noise & dancing to resurrect a cemetery. My boss at work announced at the office afterwards, “NEVER seen a happier groom!” (You blame him?)

All I remember is my uncle whispering in awe, “This boy is a rascal!!”

Weddings are special because at once, everyone who has had a hand in raising you- for it truly has taken a village for me-, gets a chance to celebrate a moment. Weddings are  also chronically uncomfortable, I remember feeling so painfully shy my smile hurt. And very soon, I was kneeling down before my father
confirming my willingness to commit my heart to the safekeeping of a young, Anambra boy. To be sure, my father poured a glass of wine and asked me, “Show me the man you said you want to go with.”

My mind: “Now where’s that lil ol’ man I trapped??”

We ended the ceremony back on our knees, before my father, who solemnly intoned “Are you sure this is the man?” Awaiting my confirmation before giving his blessing. 5 years later, still thankful I dragged that dancing man to my father, affirming my choice. A choice I’d make in every version of the question, “Are you sure this is the man?” Happy (traditional) anniversary, Obi’m.

Photo: Santiago Avila @unsplash