So I decided to take a leaf out of Ore mi’s blog pages and do a blogging challenge. After sorting through tons, I finally found one with questions I thought were interesting and insightful enough to answer without  nodding off. I don’t know what this might mean for the consistency of my blogging BUT I hope I blog more often in a bid to answer all these questions.

Let’s start at the very beginning the very best place to start…

Five (5) Ways to Win My Heart…

(Yo, my husband better be reading this with a pen and notepad in hand! Although if I know him, he’d be reading and muttering “*Akikor” to himself. *Akikor is Igbo sarcasm. Lol. Similar only to the Yoruba ‘Yimu’and largely only describable with actions.  The closest translation into ‘Modern Nigerian’ is probably the millennial slang, “If I hear!” Lol. If you’re not Nigerian, please ask the nearest Nigerian for clarification).

Ok so on to today’s topic, “5 Ways to Win My Heart”

1. Listening to Me

I am somehow able to remember small things people say to me and I love to surprise them with gifts that reflect the fact that, “I listened and I heard you! I gatchu.” I am that sort of friend. But, people don’t really listen when I speak. Yes, really. I think this stems from the fact that in many ways, most of the time I am usually the shoulder-to-cry-on friend, the one that people tend to lean on. Which is possibly really the result of Oldest Child Syndrome etc.  The down side of this though, is that while people are used to sharing THEIR problems, they aren’t really used to sharing your own problems with you, because you’re the friend they rely on for answers or support…not more problems.  So I realise that very few people listen to me properly, a lot of time people listen with an intent to move on quickly or double back to their issue for you to resolve.

… So just imagine how wonderful it felt the first time I realized that Obi’m actually HEARD me when I spoke! How? He always remembered the things I said, in fact sometimes I would say something totally irrelevant just to test him. Lol because psycho in sheep’s clothing. But no matter how little, he always listened even from the first. I could not believe it, guys! The number of times he’d say things like, “Oh XXX, that’s the friend you made that time you got lost on that holiday where…?!” BRUUUUUHHHH, I would have proposed to him if he hadn’t asked me to be his wife! Lol!  So listening to me, *DJ Khaled voice*MAJOR KEY.

2. A Thoughtful/Meaningful Gift

People hardly ever buy me the correct gifts. Lol, yes I sound super ungrateful but it’s true! Some of my favourite ladies who shall not be named, believe my style is quite “out there” real life euphemism and so if they go into a store and see a lovely leather purse in traditional brown or one in a dangerously bright neon shade…they’re likely to pick the neon.  Just because they think I don’t like normal things! Lol which on some level is true but damn can I get the middle-of-the-road abnormal thing not the end-of-the- spectrum, howl-at-moon crazy version? This is why when someone gets me a gift that is perfectly aligned to my character, it’s literally THE best thing! The thing is, I am a lover of utterly useless but beautiful things and this often boggles the mind of others. So I understand that I am not the easiest woman to shop for. I remember when I moved to an office predominantly made up of engineers and proceeded to decorate my work desk with a profusion of those my ‘useless but beautiful’ ornaments. One swaggering oversabi thought to make a spectacle of himself-certainly not me- by picking each object and inquiring loudly to the tittering of his mates, “So what is this one for?!” and “What does that one do?!” I answered each one in the same way, “Nothing, it’s just here for beautification.” On the last object, I answered his final “And this, what does it do?” with a quiet, ‘Nothing, it’s just here for beautification…exactly like your wife.”

He still doesn’t speak to me. But that’s ok too.

3. An Unconventional Date

I still cringe from a ‘date’, that was really more hostage takeover than time out tbh, where I was subjected to a foolishly expensive meal at an overhyped Lagos restaurant. As I chewed that rubbery steak that cost the equivalent of a material portion of my salary and watched my dinner partner ogle me in assurance that his treat had secured him a treat that evening, I realized that I hate stupid dates. Lol, yes a “Thanks, Captain Obvious!” statement.  Forgive me. I hate stupid dates though.

I remember the first time I moved to this city and was looking for things to do, I suggested to a macho man trying to take me out that I’d love to go see a football game. He squealed (he legit squealed, guys) and said they were too rowdy for his safety.  Well, that ended that.

Second or third day talking to Obi’m I was walking to the car park at work and heard a train go past. I excitedly told him I didn’t even know we had functioning trains in this region! He confirmed that they do indeed function and suggested that a fun date might be hopping on a train and stopping at each stop to explore the city in a different way than normal. So I fell in love. Lol not really. But that certainly made him interesting enough to speak to again.

And so it makes sense that our first date was to the zoo…yes, emaciated animals and all. It was such an amazing day! Our date started at 11am and ended at almost midnight… and it honestly didn’t even feel long enough.

I love me some him.

4. Kindness

A person that is kind to you but mean to everyone else will eventually be unkind to you. On that our zoo date mentioned above, there was a little boy playing half naked at the food stand in the zoo premises. He fell and hurt himself, Obi’m cradled him…then proceeded to produce a handkerchief from the sky because magician, and cleaned the little boy’s catarrh-filled, rather vile, runny nose. Full UNICEF advert behaviour. Lol I later teased him that it was all an act for my sake but he looked at me askance, like “How is that something to do to get a girl?!” Lol…so logically I asked for his hand in marriage. Not. I liked that the action wasn’t thought out but a natural expression of who he is.

Kindness is often mistaken for niceness, or even stupidity. But, it is not an overrated attribute but a reflection of true character and I will always admire this trait in others.

Being kind to others is a really big thing for me because it’s not the easiest thing to do.

5. Praying for Me/with Me.

Self-explanatory. It’s just so incredibly powerful.

The pleasant surprise was that I didn’t have to work backwards in the sense of thinking of things Obi’m does and slapping on the “Key to my heart” tag. Even more reason to believe I married the right man for me because he really found the ways to my heart…which is of course a #MajorKey. Lol gotta love DJ Khaled. 

Phot Credit: The always stunning ohjoy.com