Photographer TY Bello shot English rapper, Tinnie Tempah, as he strolled the Lagos streets. Unplanned, a beautiful hawker walked by his path. Ty caught the shot, the mild interaction between both parties, and that singular organic moment propelled Olajumoke Orisaguna to stardom. Everyone wanted to know if the gorgeous girl next to the artist was a model carefully curated for the shot…or could she be a mistake? I would have thought the hullabaloo was for nothing myself if I hadn’t seen the article that Sunday and wondered aloud whether the bread seller was indeed a model…or if this could really be a fortunate alignment of stars in the form of a naturally photogenic female taking an opportune stroll.

I was delighted to find that not only did others think the same; they raised the issue with Madam Bello on twitter. This led to Olajumoke’s face plastered across the next edition of the Thisday Sunday Magazine.  Now I thought, who doesn’t love a rags to riches story ya know?? So sure, why not, enjoy your fame Jumi! I was happy for her…until I saw the number of people cashing in on the action. The freebies were rolling in, whether from people hoping to gatecrash Olajumoke’s spotlight or genuinely keen to help, Olajumoke was besieged with offers. I wondered if we weren’t overdoing things but cautioned myself because afterall, any charity is good charity usually so I let it go.

Only for me to today hear an outcry from ‘concerned citizens’ insisting that Olajumoke’s husband be  ‘carried along’.  If I hear?!? Carried along to where? Which vehicle?! Stop.  I hope we know that neither TY Bello nor any human being, wellmeaning or otherwise, owed Olajumoke a single thing? This is Nigeria, many people’s images are used without notice or compensation. Don’t believe me, ask Beyonce is she knows that she is the face of numerous bar soaps, synthetic hair extensions and bleaching lotions.

TY could have, easily, only given Olajumoke free copies of the pictures. Or asked her to sign a consent form releasing the use of her image. Because professional. The photographer would be free from every obligation. She could have chosen to not use any photos with Olajumoke in them, in fact.

No one owes anyone a damn thing. It’s very dangerous to think in these wide entitlement loops because in doing this, we absolve ourselves of responsibility.  Worse in this Olajumoke story, we have now elevated the obligation. I read an article today which included the following rant:

“…The Husband of the Breadseller versus The Husband of the Model: For the record, no story has been told of her marital relationship prior her stardom. The Yoruba speaking Olajumoke who was intellectually compatible with her husband left the house that fateful day. But, there is a new Jumoke now, one who has become a cynosure and the latest celeb in the nation.”

“What role would this play in her family life? May I state here that all the corporate giants that have suddenly rolled out their drums to beat a new dance for Jumoke, the beautiful bride, should also extend the same gestures to her husband so we do not end up with a celeb whose marriage may struggle in days to come.”

Now, there are calls for Ty and co to help Olajumoke’s husband, give him a job, have him relocated and settled in Lagos and so on…

 “…Carefully manage the relationship between Jumoke, her husband and their extended family. This is Africa and we all know the implications.”

So Nigerians are the ones now responsible for managing the relationship between Olajumoke and her husband? As their national in-laws or what? So with all the present opportunities granted in her 15 seconds Olajumoke herself has not been empowered enough to raise up her significant other, to be a partner to him as God intended? Her husband on his own cannot sit with his wife and together craft where these new opportunities might take them as a family, what it might mean, the gains that may be won? Wellmeaning Nigerians should come and do that too?

What sort of mentality are we breeding in young people in this Nigeria? Read this and read this well,

 “…don’t fall into the common error of supposing that the world owes you a living. It doesn’t owe you anything of the kind. The world isn’t responsible for your being. It didn’t send for you; it never asked you to come here, and in no sense is it obliged to support you now that you are here…

– Robert Burdette

The world does not owe you anything. It was here before you. It did not send for you.

I said what? It did not send for you.

This entitlement mentality is something I hate from my marrow to my fingertips. I get a bit confused when I hear people complain with confidence of a “…rich uncle (relative/friend) who refused to help”. As though having money makes one automatically the sole provider for all others. For this world true true, na only you waka come.  Not only does your rich uncle have his own problems, but know that he has absolutely no obligation, legal or moral, to be of any service to you. If he wants to arrange his N1, 000 notes into a crisp bed of money and lay himself down to sleep, changing notes nightly, that is his prerogative. It is not your right to receive one note from his money-bed simply because you are related by blood, or because he is Christian and certainly not because you deserve it.

We hardly ever get what we deserve,

good or bad.

The world owes you nothing. It didn’t ask for you. It didn’t send for you. Until we start to take our own lives in our hands, good or bad, this nation cannot grow. So many young people are boiling over with an impotent rage, a futile resentment, confident in the deluded idea that someone owes them something. Something for being from the Niger Delta, something for being beautiful, something for being intelligent, something for having poorer parents…something for being born at all.

Your life is your responsibility. Stop trying to share it.

“It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul.”

-‘Invictus’ by William Ernest Henley