I turn 28 in a few days…yes, really…the only thing that really frightens me is I swear I thought I’d get more serious the older I grew. Alas that has FAILED, FAILED I tell you, to come true. Lol. Anyway, Vanilla Aima nominated me for the 20 Facts About Me challenge on Instagram. Because I’m a lirrul rule breaker, I’m doing mine on my blog and writing 28 sort-of-facts about me. I think I might do a number of these 28 lists before the D-Day. I like lists.

28 Facts

1.
My pet peeve is Nigerian men who act as though all women are after their money. You don’t have a monopoly over good jobs or a decent wage or hard work. C’mon son!

2.
If I were a superhero, my super power would be the ability to ignore the hell out of a person. Literally. I am genetically capable of ignoring a person out of existence; I can cut their voice, our memories, my hurt out of existence without repression or regret. Yes, this is a super power. And no, I am not the Negro Ice Queen…I’m her king.

3.
I can rap and sing along to practically every song on Kanye’s College Drop Out and Late Registration albums. Everything afterwards was a musical fail IMO. It’s ok to judge me. And my favourite Beyonce song is Me, Myself & I (I might as well stock your arsenal).

4.
I never know what to say when people ask me how many siblings I have.

5.
At Berkeley, I won the award for the Most Stylish Female in the law school (Go Boalt!) and I was unanimously voted Most Likely to be Famous. In high school I won the award for the Most Humourous student as well as the Wild and Crazy award…still unsure what the latter award really means tbh.

6.
I think the worst feeling in the world is waking up from a nightmare relieved that it was just a dream…only to realise the nightmare is actually real; you just dreamt about your reality. It’s heartbreaking.

7.
I apologise quickly. I can’t hold a grudge properly. #ButterFingers

8.
I love miniature things…I mean like doll houses oh! (So many jokes, such little time. Let it go.)

9.
I have moodswings. Hey, I am a woman I am allowed to be contrary! I will go from irritated to pleased in 2 seconds…and my sisters suffer the worst effects of this. I love my sisters very much.

10.
I love African American humour, African American slang…and African American men. A little unrelated but I live for ratchet TV. And I do not understand why no one agrees with me, the word ‘ratchet’ is simply the words ‘hoodrat sh*t’ condensed.

11.
I really really like to dance. Really. But I don’t like going out. #Whomp

12.
I love buying people presents, silly things or proper fancy gifts. If I see something you’d like or something that reminds me of you, that I can afford, chances are I will buy it for you.

13.
I stumbled upon most of my talents. This often makes me doubt their veracity and potency.

14.
My favourite cereal is Rice Krispies, breakfast of champions.

15.
I deflect compliments. I do not know why myself. I’m just uncomfortable with compliments; I’m working on accepting them graciously…just letting them fit my soul snugly, responding to them with a big smile and small “Thank you.”

16.
I’m usually the class clown/entertainer when I’m with my good friends and it vaguely annoys me when I don’t play this role and everyone asks if I’m ok. I can’t be 100% everyday though. It’s not every day play, some days reflection.

17.
I’m incredibly comfortable in the kitchen, meaning that you’d never drop me in a kitchen and I’d be confused. I find peace in the ‘prosaicness’ of cooking.

18.
I am scared of the dark. Why? “…because darkness is the absence of light.” -Spencer Reid

19.
My worst smell is ‘Wet Dog’. Ugh, that smell when you give a dog a shower…even a clean dog?!?! Ugh. My worst animals are frogs and toads….absolutely vile. *SHUDDERS*

20.
I HATE being told what to do. H.A.T.E. I can be independent to the point of willful, pointless disobedience.(*Insert Jennifer Hudson voice* “I’m chaaaaaannnngiiiinnnn…”)

21.
When I am shopping, I’m very commander-in-battle modesque. I don’t eat, I don’t drink, I don’t answer my phone…and my mouth is full of that adrenaline-style anticipatory saliva. Vile but true. Oh and when I spend money, I feel happier and lighter. Yes, really.

22.
I cry when I’m angry. I never cry when I’m sad, not because I don’t want to, sadness just leaves me so bereft that I am unable to muster the effort to form tears to shed.

23.
I am able to remember the most random, stupid, irrelevant detail from a story…while simultaneously forgetting the real point of the story.

24.
My favourite flowers are calla lilies.

25.
I buy things all the time and store them for “…my future home.” Yet I have no idea what my wedding dress, shoes, venue etcetera will look like.

26.
I’m a homebody. I love to cook, I love hosting my friends. I will set a proper table as if we’re really dining somewhere fancy, just to eat yam and stew. I really believe a person’s home should be their sanctuary, you know, your safe place…you should never invite people you don’t like or are unsure about into your home.

27.
My favourite skill/virtue is my resourcefulness. I think I can make a little go a long way.

28.
I’m not naturally affectionate. I don’t like hugs.