Perhaps the bible has spoilt us a little. We hear marvellous tales of parted oceans, an actual daily bread straight from heaven’s kitchens, wonder-wielding prophets, pillars of fire acting as traffic lights in the desert and much more, and expect so much from God. Miracles still happen today but as much as I’d appreciate a cloud telling me how to avoid Lagos traffic daily, the truth is, God is going to act through us to bring about those things He desires to see in His world.

Granted, I would love to be in the centre of an indescribable miracle, however, I cannot help but think that too many of us are perhaps waiting in vain. #NoBobMarley. Is it possible, do you think, that we are the ones we’ve been waiting for? Recently, Pastor Moses at church (www.thewaterbrookchurch.org, (yes, another shameless plug)) reminded me of something important. We are forever coming to God with our needs, but we forget that God has needs too. His one real need is to find people of truth, integrity and character, because this is how He manifests Himself in the world.

If you understand that God’s first need is to build strong people, men and women with character and faith, you will appreciate your tests as spirit-builders…not signs of child abuse from a heavenly parent (alas, I’ve been there).

I’ve shared before that in the last few months, I’ve really felt God asking me to make myself more useful to Him. In a bid to heed this call, I stopped looking inwards and started peering more deeply into others. My thoughts towards others changed to, “What can I do for you today?” “How can I help you?” Soon the question, “How can I be of service to you?” began to mean so much more. I volunteered at church to help out with two sets of career advisory and mentoring groups; one for teens and one for young adults and I started using my free time to teach as well.

As much as I felt led to be useful, I simultaneously, often felt so INCREDIBLY overwhelmed. With my work hours and side business (es…*sigh* I am so deeply allergic to poverty), I told God “I honestly do NOT have time for this. …Please, Sir, I beg You!!!” Lol…you know sometimes, you have to revert to old school begging with God.

Thursday, was a particularly difficult day for me. I was deeply in debate with God. Scratch that, I was uber pissed at Him because I entered into some trouble that I feel God could have warned me (much louder than He actually did!!) and therefore prevented. I was so upset by God’s perceived abandonment on Thursday…although in hindsight, I concede that my annoyance was perhaps un-proportional to the eventual harm that occurred. Whatever, I am a woman and I am allowed to be as contrary, reactionary and excessive in my irritation as I please. Lol. Anyways, I had enough presence of mind, even in my anger, to understand that my annoyance was partly fuelled by the fact that I felt that I was doing a lot for God and the least He could do was reward me with a largely stress-free existence. Just to make my charity work more effective, you understand, *ahem*.

So, on this same Thursday of God-beef, after the afternoon’s debacle with God, I get a message from one of the younger adults I’m helping in the career scheme at church. She messaged to say she got into her dream school, one we worked together tirelessly on…AND she got the scholarship she needed!!!! *Insert praise dance here…beats tambourine, waves white handkerchief*. It was a little ray of sunshine but one that I grabbed unto with both hands and wretchedly long toenails! Just when I thought of giving up, when I worried that I might be working in vain, when I said to myself, “maybe this whole idea wasn’t even God’s in the first place”, He showed up, despite our ‘fight’ and like my friend Ore told me today, God told me: “BE. STILL, Wendy!”

I love God. I love how understands me; my nature, my stubbornness, my recklessness, my intentions, my contrary actions, my weakness, my heart that longs to serve Him and to be worthy of Him. He leaves little love letters all over my life to remind me that even when I can’t feel Him near, He is. He always, always finds a way to remind me that whenever I feel He is far, I am the one that has moved. He is constant. .

It struck me again, that I have NOTHING sufficient to give back to Him for everything He is to me. My life is sometimes messy, my thoughts are conflicting, my body won’t even listen to me, my heart longs for the wrong things…yet, all God wants is me. In return, He holds nothing back, He doesn’t love me like I love him; largely when He is good. His love isn’t cautionary, it doesn’t hold back a bit of itself. He gives me 100% every single time. And all He asks is that I give myself, questionable as I am, to Him? I understand David when he says, “…Such knowledge is too wonderful to understand!” (Psalm 139:6).

One of my favourite scriptures is Romans 8:35-38. It says:

“35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?…38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[p] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

And this made me remember why I serve. I do not serve because I intend to get back from God, for after all you don’t plant AND reap seeds, you plant seeds and reap something different, fruits. The fruits of my seeds will be whole, healed, saved lives. That is sufficient. I serve because it is the least I can do in return for everything God has been to me.

We are truly the ones we’ve been waiting for. There are so many opportunities to influence things and change people’s lives, if we look around us properly. Sometimes we think our contributions are too little to matter but hear Mother Theresa, “We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.” It is true. Anything that is in your heart to do, just do it! Imagine how powerful our world would be if we went out with the ‘Each One Teach One’ or even ‘Each One Reach One’ mentality everyday. That was Jesus’ lifestyle. That is the life we are ALL called to live. It’s not for the martyrs, neither is it for the pastors, the politicians, the celebrities. This is God’s earth and we are His hands, His face, we are His voice today.

What are you saying?