I had an interesting conversation with one of my really good friends today. His words remind me how important it is to be surrounded by men of wisdom, understanding and insight.

BFF:
What kind of music do you like/listen to Wendy?
Me:
What is afoot?! Lol. A little of everything. I don’t have any new music on my iPod though.
BFF:
That was a random question
Me:
Most. Random aside, my dad uses the most random phrases. Once I got a voice message from him that said “Wendy, this habit of not picking up your phone is MOST annoying”.
BFF:
=D
Me:
Lol like how is that going to prompt me to pick up next time?
BFF:
Hahaha. Ok just answer the first question
Me:
Music, most things. I like random Mali/Senegalese style music when I cook, Corinne Bailey Rae when I’m driving home and its late, Drake at work, a lot, a lot of Israel and New Breed especially when I feel my spirit is down and I don’t know why, I tend to randomly keep an Aliyah/Brandy and Alicia keys playlist (at least 3 albums wide) on my iPod at all material times…... It is honestly random
BFF:
I see. I realised I honestly know nothing about your inner will. Your humour, your style. What I know is mostly what you project. And of course insights from what you tell me in our discussions. But it’s a person’s tastes that gives a clearer picture of the landscape of their mind. I’m trying to notice people more. And life more. And not just spend all my time forming opinions. I mean just recline and experience through observation(Where observation is not just visual). The reason is that I find that I often spend entire conversations with friends, expressing opinions. When they really just want to relax and talk chilled things.
BFF:
As for your music, I like Mali/Senegal sound too. (Especially like the Kora- that guitar they keep playing; it has a haunting, nimble feel that I hear in Hausa music). Corinne is good
BFF:
🙂
Me:
Awww. That’s good
Me:
I often think that people always think they know me very well but in actual fact I can talk a lot but I might not always say much. If that makes sense
BFF:
Yeah
BFF:
“Talking too much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself”- Friedrich Nietszche
Me:
I think it is important to be more perceptive and understand by observation. I’m going to take a leaf out of your book and do that as well
BFF:
I know this especially of me because I just realised I don’t know myself as well as I should. Interestingly I don’t know the back of my hand as well as I should either. I could recognise it anywhere but I’d be hardpressed to reproduce it from memory
Me:
Hmmm….I’m incredibly self-analytical. Stems from my tendency to overthink. I know myself exceptionally well. *ahem* not rubbing it in but uhhhhhm…
Me:
Lol
BFF:
Well, I used to think the same. But I’ve begun to doubt whether I actually self-analyse enough.
Me:
Well that’s a good place to be, getting that awareness. But don’t let others’ perception of you cloud your search inwards. It is dangerous how much power we put into the hands of people whose approval we rely on
BFF:
Yes, I thought that before I sent the last bbm
BFF:
It is
BFF:
But we will always look for people to whom to be accountable
BFF:
It’s a way of achieving balance
BFF:
The trick is to know one’s worth before putting it on another person’s moral scale
BFF:
So that all their opinion does is help us achieve balance
BFF:
Rather than becoming a substitute for our internal measure of esteem.
Me:
Exactly
Me:
It’s something I really learnt last year. I never realised how many thoughts I’d let grow deep roots in my brain; about the world, about myself, about things, that never originally belonged to me
BFF:
Such as?
Me:
Well about myself; just feeling like I had no generosity of spirit, I was petty and mean spirited. When in actual fact, I’m not! I’m human and have many many moments of meanness but that’s not a definition of myself because my intentions are sometimes different from my actions
Me:
Not sure I explained it well
BFF:
I can see where you’re going
BFF:
I have felt the other way
BFF:
Often think of myself as big-hearted. And now there are opinions that I am small-minded
Me:
Yeah but I’ve found that it is simply not true. *Shakes head vehemently*
Me:
We are exactly who WE say we are 3-|
Me:
I’m no longer listening to anything to the contrary
BFF:
I agree.

Be careful about what you take in from others about you and what you say about yourself to yourself. You are the ONLY one in the world capable of achieving what you were sent here to do. There will never ever be another one of your kind made ever again. Love all.of.yourself!

Selah.

Photo credit: http://thewritebeauty.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/img_1898.jpg