“Tomorrow is pregnant.”

                                                                                                 Nigerian proverb

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                                                                     “We break, we bleed…and begin again.”

-Wendelyn 

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“I walk with the self-assurance of a sleepwalker towards my destiny.”

-Adolf Hitler

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“They’re tough not just because of their physical power but their disorganization. Their disorganization disorganized you as a rival and that’s difficult for a team like ours, the disorder.
– Javier Mascherano about the Nigerian Super Eagles.

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“Epileptic sympathy”

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“Honesty without compassion is brutality”

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Lady attempting to bribe government official:

“I believe we can come to an agreement that will be beneficial for both of us.”

Official: “I don’t understand”

“Agunechemba One.

Meaning:

The Lion that keeps the city.”

An Igbo title sometimes used for God.

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Your hair right
Your body tight
You just make a man wanna fight

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“After me, I’m the next person and after that person, na still me.”

-@dodobabs

Nothing like a Nigerian brag

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Margot Robbie: Once, I found a human foot on the beach in Nicaragua

Bryan Cranston: …Which she now uses as a doorstop.

This made me LOL. (From The Hollywood Reporter)

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“The disapproval of cowards is praise to the brave.”

-Gellert Grindelwald, Curious Beasts and Where to Find Them II

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“Diversity is being invited to the party.

Inclusion, is being asked to dance.”

Verna Myers

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“We like because (of their strengths)…and we love despite (their weaknesses)”

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“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic”

-Arthur C. Clarke

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“There are no ugly women. Only lazy ones.”

-Helena Rubensten

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“Choosing the right people is the closest thing we come to controlling our destiny because while everything else may change, if you choose the right people the important things will stay the same.”

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“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion but not everyone to his own facts.”

-Daniel Patrick Moineghan

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“Shakespeare says the path of true love never runs smooth.  Ifeanyi and Hadiza, you have overcome tremendous obstacles which may have broken and embittered others…and come out better. Better together. I pray your hardest days are behind you and that your love and friendship grows richer and deeper every day.”

-CJ’s Best Man Toast at His Brother’s Wedding

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“Because we write fiction, we mine our souls.”

-Chimamanda Adichie

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“Social justice cannot be achieved by violence. Violence kills what it intends to create.”

-Pope John Paul II

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“The problem with research is it tells you what people were thinking about yesterday not tomorrow”

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“Business opportunities are like buses there’s always another one coming”

-Richard Branson

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“This year we go give wahala problem

When I die make them write for my grave say I don try

Pikin wey won chop party rice no suppose fear dance”

-All from one song! LMAO all hail the Niger Delta!

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“Thatcher used her gender to promote her ability to get the job done, likening the nations’ account to a household budget. Calling herself to the housewife who would clean up the country.”

-The History Channel

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“To all y’all niggas starting college this week. Remember if she can’t say yes, it ain’t a yes. if she say yes, and then say no, it ain’t a yes. if she don’t say shit, it ain’t a yes. and my nigga, you need a yes.”

-@femdot

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“But one underappreciated thing about Richard Williams (father of Venus and Serena Williams) is that it never occurred to him that his little girls couldn’t also be multimillionaire athletes.”

-@byjoelanderson

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“Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”

-Catherine M. Wallace
Author, Poet, Essayis

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The word spank is nowhere in the word of God! The only word is rod and it’s taken wrongly by Christians regularly! A rod is what shepherds used to gently guide their sheep! They did not beat them with it! Research it.

–Jessica

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“This strain of feminism is too male-identified. Bill Clinton didn’t put father and husband in HIS Twitter bio but Hilary Clinton did. Bish, Hilary don’t care what Bill did or did not do!”

-Eki The G.O.A.T

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“The goal of education is not to increase the amount of knowledge but to create the possibilities for a child to invent and discover, to create men who are capable of doing new things.”

-Jean Piaget
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“An honest man is always a child.”

-Socrates

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“Parents and schools should place great emphasis on the idea that it is all right to be different. Racism and all the other ‘isms’ grow from primitive tribalism, the instinctive hostility against those of another tribe, race, religion, nationality, class or whatever. You are a lucky child if your parents taught you to accept diversity.”

Roger Ebert
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“[Kanye] West calls his struggle the right to be a “free thinker,” and he is, indeed, championing a kind of freedom—a white freedom, freedom without consequence, freedom without criticism, freedom to be proud and ignorant; freedom to profit off a people in one moment and abandon them in the next; a Stand Your Ground freedom, freedom without responsibility, without hard memory; a Monticello without slavery, a Confederate freedom, the freedom of John C. Calhoun, not the freedom of Harriet Tubman, which calls you to risk your own; not the freedom of Nat Turner, which calls you to give even more, but a conqueror’s freedom, freedom of the strong built on antipathy or indifference to the weak, the freedom of rape buttons, p*ssy grabbers, and f*ck you anyway, b*tch; freedom of oil and invisible wars, the freedom of suburbs drawn with red lines, the white freedom of Calabasas.”

-Ta-Nehisi Coates

“The work of writing had always been, for me, the work of enduring failure. It had never occurred to me that one would, too, have to work to endure success. The incentives toward a grand ego were ever present. I was asked to speak on matters which my work evidenced no knowledge of. I was invited to do a speaking tour via private jet. I was asked to direct a music video. I began to understand how and why famous writers falter, because writing is hard and there are “writers” who only do that work because they have to. But it was now clear there was another way—a life of lectures, visiting-writer gigs, galas, prize committees. There were dark expectations.”

-Ta-Nehisi Coates

(I really think this is what Chimamanda is currently facing, dark expectations she’s trying to live up to).

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“Greatness has no peak.”

– Moi-Meme

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“Learning to let go should be learned before learning to get. Life should be touched, not strangled. You’ve got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it.”

-Ray Bradbury

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“He is a paragraph candidate in a 140-character world.”

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“Life is mostly froth and bubble | Two things stand like stone |Kindness in another’s trouble | Courage in your own.”

-Adam Lindsay Gordon

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“Excuses are tools of the incompetent used to build bridges to nowhere and monuments of nothingness.”

-A Morehouse Mantra

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“I will say it betrays a poverty of ambition if all you think about is what goods you can buy instead of what good you can do. “

-Barack Obama

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“The problem is too many men are marrying nurturers…not builders.”

-CJ

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“The past is a foreign country. They do things differently there.”

-L.P Bartley, The Go-Between

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“He was still too young to know that the heart’s memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and that thanks to this artifice we manage to endure the burden of the past.”

-Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Love in the Time of Cholera

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“Life never gets clearer. You just get surer of yourself.”

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“Once upon a time, there was a boy. He lived in a village that no longer exists, in a house that no longer exists, on the edge of a field that no longer exists, where everything was discovered, and everything was possible. A stick could be a sword, a pebble could be a diamond, a tree, a castle. Once upon a time, there was a boy who lived in a house across the field, from a girl who no longer exists. They made up a thousand games. She was queen and he was king. In the autumn light her hair shone like a crown. They collected the world in small handfuls, and when the sky grew dark, and they parted with leaves in their hair.

Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.”

-Nicole Krauss, A history of Love

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“Whatever you want in life, other people are going to want it too. Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it.”

– Diane Sawyer

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“‘Agbanilabatan’ meaning The One who delivers completely”

-One of my favourite names for God

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“Proposing in front of people is basically a hostage situation.”

[The pressure to say yes is real]

-CJ

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“There is always something to do. There are hungry people to feed, naked people to clothe, sick people to comfort and make well. And while I don’t expect you to save the world, I do think it’s not asking too much for you to love those with whom you sleep, share the happiness of those whom you call friend, engage those among you who are visionary, and remove from your life those who offer you depression, despair, and disrespect.”

-Nikki Giovanni, poet and professor (b. 7 Jun 1943)

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“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”

-Oscar Wilde

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“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

-Rob Siltanen

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“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

-Marilyn Monroe

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Lonely, ain’t it?
Yes, but my lonely is mine. Now your lonely is somebody else’s. Made by somebody else and handed to you. Ain’t that something? A secondhand lonely.”
― Toni Morrison, Sula

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“Misery don’t call ahead. That’s why you have to stay awake – otherwise it just walks on in your door.”
― Toni Morrison, Home

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“Happiness is anticipation with certainty…”

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“Do they still call it infatuation? That magic ax that chops away the world in one blow, leaving only the couple standing there trembling? Whatever they call it, it leaps over anything, takes the biggest chair, the largest slice, rules the ground wherever it walks, from a mansion to a swamp, and its selfishness is its beauty…. People with no imagination feed it with sex — the clown of love. They don’t know the real kinds, the better kinds, where losses are cut and everybody benefits. It takes a certain intelligence to love like that — softly, without props.”
― Toni Morrison, Love

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“The loss pressed down on her chest and came up into her throat. it was a fine cry — loud and long — but it had no bottom and no top, just circles and circles of sorrow.”
― Toni Morrison, Sula

I felt this quote in my gut!

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“Love is never any better than the lover. Wicked people love wickedly, violent people love violently, weak people love weakly, stupid people love stupidly, but the love a free man is never safe.”
― Toni Morrison, The Bluest Eye

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“She is a friend of my mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It’s good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind.”
― Toni Morrison, Beloved

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“I wrote my first novel because I wanted to read it.”

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“He licked his lips. ‘Well, if you want my opinion-‘
‘I don’t, ‘ She said. ‘I have my own.”
― Toni Morrison, Beloved

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“True the Black woman did the housework, the drudgery; true, she reared the children, often alone, but she did all of that while occupying a place on the job market, a place her mate could not get or which his pride would not let him accept.And she had nothing to fall back on: not maleness, not whiteness, not ladyhood, not anything. And out of the profound desolation of her reality she may very well have invented herself.”

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I always thought that women could do a lot of things. All the women I knew did nine or ten things at one time. I always understood that women worked, they went to church, they managed their houses, they managed somebody else’s houses, they raised their children, they raised somebody else’s children, they taught. I wouldn’t say it’s not hard, but why wouldn’t it be? All important things are hard.”
― Toni Morrison

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“When you gone to get married? You need to have some babies. It’ll settle you.’
‘I don’t want to make somebody else. I want to make myself.”
― Toni Morrison, Sula

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“There is really nothing more to say-except why. But since why is difficult to handle, one must take refuge in how.”
― Toni Morrison

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“Love is brave business.”

-Darling Magazine

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“Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.”

-Max Lucado

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“Freedom is never handed to you. You take it.”

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“…Women are not children of a lesser god. Beware.”

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“Buffoonery should not be met with the blunt instrument of a ban but with the sharp, classic British instrument…of ridicule.”

-British MP on the clamour to ban Donald Trump from the UK

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“You always remember your first marriage. It’s the most important…it’s when you establish your quote.”

-Karen, Will & Grace

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“It is the obvious which is so difficult to see most of the time. People say ‘It’s as plain as the nose on your face.’ But how much of the nose on your face can you see, unless someone holds a mirror up to you?”

― Isaac Asimov, iRobot

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“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.”

― Wayne W. Dyer

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“The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.”

― P.G. Wodehouse, The Adventures of Sally

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“…and taking the chance to find love again- without the certainty of the outcome- is the business of being human.”

-Darling Magazine

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No I do not (have sex for money)! For jewels, for furs, for mixed securities like a lady! But for money?! How tacky!

-Karen, Will & Grace

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“If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years how man would marvel and adore.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

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“Electricity is really just organized lighting”

― George Carlin

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“Child, you have to learn to see things in the right proportions. Learn to see great things great and small things small.”

― Corrie Ten Boom

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“Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.”

― J.M. Barrie

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“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”

― Steven Wright

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“There are no facts, only interpretations.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

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“Look at everything as though you are seeing it either for the first or last time, then your time on

earth will be filled with glory”

― Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

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“You will always define events in a manner which will validate your agreement with reality.”

― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

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“When it seems like the sky is about to collapse, relax, that’s just the roof caving in.”

― Jarod Kintz, Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

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“And those who were seen dancing, were thought to be crazy, by those who could not hear the music.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

See More:

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“Chaos is merely order waiting to be deciphered”

― José Saramago, The Double

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“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”

― Marcus Aurelius

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“Life is 10 percent what you make it

and 90 percent how you take it.”

― Irving Berlin

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“We sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken a lifetime to learn. It seems only

the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young,

brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is

holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit

without speaking. This is the great paradox.”

― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

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“When you meet that person. A person. One of your soulmates. Let the connection. Let the relationship be what it is. It may be five minutes. Five hours. Five days. Five months. Five years. A lifetime. Let it manifest itself, the way it is meant to. It has an organic destiny. This way if it stays or if it leaves, you will be softer for having been loved this authentically. Souls come into, return, open, and sweep through your life for a myriad of reasons. Let them be who and what they are meant.”

-Nayyirah Waheed

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“Her coffee is getting cold as she waits for him to miss her,

While his cigarettes are running one after another, trying to forget her.”

-Nze

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“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

-Rumi

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“Nothing haunts me like the things I don’t buy.”

-Wendelyn

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“A lie is simply a lie. It draws its strength from belief.”

-Nayyirah Waheed

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“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”

-Anne Lamott

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“Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”

-Rumi

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“Find ecstasy in life; the mere sense of living is joy enough.”

– Emily Dickinson

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“I bleed every month but do not die. How am I not magic?”

– Nayyirah Waheed, The Lie

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“Appreciate the moment of a first kiss; it may be the last time you own your heart.”

-Robert M. Drake

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“When you give someone your whole heart and he doesn’t want it, you cannot take it back. It’s gone forever.”

-Sylvia Plath

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“If the ocean can calm itself, so can you. We are both salt water mixed with air.”

-Nayyirah Waheed

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“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am. I am. I am.”
-Sylvia Plath

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“If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.”
-David Carradine

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“We must be our own before we can be another’s.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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“Flatter yourself critically.”
-Willis Goth Regier

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“Grieve. So that you can be free to feel something else.”

-Nayyirah Waheed

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“But life is long. And it is the long run that balances the short flare of interest and passion.”

-Sylvia Plath

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“If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes politics”

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“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”
-Chinese Proverb

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“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”
-Mahatma Gandhi

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“Honey, tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic.

-Karen Walker #Will&GraceLines

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“No one is ugly…boys are just broke”

-Ossy

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“It’s not over until tomorrow.”

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“Cut out that which wastes your heart.

-Wendelyn

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“Jews don’t have hell. We have acid reflux.”

-The Big Bang Theory

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“There are so many things on God’s heart, but we can’t even know until we posture ourselves”

-William McDowell

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“My dear fellow, if I have to work…I am not doing my job.”

-Suits

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“Two things make a coincidence. Three things make a conspiracy.”

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The Savant Syndrome: Genius trait within disability

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“So, this is engineering…where the medium skilled labourers execute the dreams of the thinkers! Hello Oompah Loompahs of science!”

-The Big Bang Theory

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“She’s a hologram, just colour and light

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“I’m MADE to be the best.”

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“You have been my friends. That in itself is a tremendous thing.” 
– E.B. White – 

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TT: Malik, of course you wasted money! Throwing things away after one wear?!

Malik: “That’s not a waste…that’s keeping things Fresh to Death!”

-The Game

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“Be sure to put the knocker fairly low on your door in case a very small friend drops by.” 
– A.A. Milne –

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“A friend is someone you want to be around when you feel like being alone.” 
– Barbara Burrow – 

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Who, being loved, is poor?

-Oscar Wilde

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Beverly: Well, well well, if it isn’t Karen Walker in the flesh!…”Whose flesh?!”, is the question.

Karen: Oh Beverly, I’m having a little get together tonight to play Monopoly…and we’re missing a piece. *Looks inquiringly at the tiny man that is Beverly*

Jack: Beverly, don’t you have places to go, people to see…a ring to protect?

-#Will&GraceLines The shade on that show kills me! Lol!

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“Chemistry is you touching my arm and it setting fire to my mind”
– Nayyirah Waheed”

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“Darling, women like you are known to carry war between your teeth and still manage to slide soft words off your tongue. You baffle them with how fit both battle and peace in your body.”

-Upile (odetopablo.tumblr.com)

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“Forget unicorns, you’re magic”

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“Trust the timing of your life.”

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“Instead of wahala, make rain fall. All die na die…after all, na beans one day e go done.”

-This comment overheard from a resigned Nigerian cracked me up! All that to say he’s tired of the situation.

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“The first person to tell me my virginity belonged to me was the boy who took it. Before this, I’d thought my virginity belonged to Jesus Christ, my mother, society at large. Anyone but me.”

-Enitan, ‘Everything Good will Come’ by Sefi Atta

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“The sort of person that makes you feel that they made the sun in their tool-shed, just for you”

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“Turn the backs of those girls and you’ll realise, these are the hides of women.”

• (I feel like I came up with this? Lol. Not sure)

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“Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready.”
― Nayyirah Waheed

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“Heart over head
Inclusion over ego
United by passion
We go all in.”

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Monica: “How stupid do you have to be to get pregnant in this day and age?!”
Rachel: “I don’t know! Everyone can wear everything they’re supposed to and somehow one of those little guys still gets through!”
Monica: “How?”
Rachel: “I don’t know! Maybe they have tools!”
-F.R.I.E.N.D.S

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“Dog, the President of the United States just went into E flat like he was collabing with Stevie & Jam/Lewis (for those unaware, E flat is THE blackest blues note ever)”
-LOL!! The Roots singer Questlove speaking about President Obama singing ‘Amazing Grace’ while delivering the Charleston eulogy

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“You don’t have a soul, Doctor. You are a soul. You have a body.”
-A Canticle For Leibowitz, Walter M. Miller

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“The Happy Virus
I caught the happy virus last night
When I was out singing beneath the stars.
It is remarkably contagious –
So kiss me.”
-Hafiz, Sufi Poet

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“We are actually people of different cultures…we have merged in spite of religion and culture, married across; produced children, and only crazy people can think of balkanising Nigeria. But we are not short of crazy people, that is the frightening part…”
-Muhammad Buhari, Nigerian President 2015

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“We can’t wear hoodies. We can’t buy skittles. We can’t swim. We can’t even breathe. Now, we can’t pray.
-As Seen on Twitter regarding the racially-motivated Charleston shooting

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“Amber Rose just keeps on finding coupons for her 15 minutes though…”
-Commenter on Necole Bitchie

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“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.”
-John Delafontaine

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“Fear is pain arising from the expectation of evil.”
-Aristotle

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Jack: I can’t do it!

Karen: Listen to me! You will do it the way any other self respecting women does it. You’ll lay on your back, point your heels to the sky and think of handbags!

#Will&GraceLines

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Chinny: “I know I lay my bed”
Fela: “Yes, now lie in it!”
Chinny: “I will! I’m not refusing to…I just want to lie on it with you. Please Fela.”

-The Newlyweds, Wendelyn O.

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“He that is born to be hanged shall never be dragged.”

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“If you were in the man-snatching business, b*tches would be sweating. But Jesus saved you to save these heaux that grief. They have enough worries as is.”

-Christiana
Christiana is one friend who actually gives some of the most practical, hilarious and weirdly comforting advice!

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Know your worth…and add taxes to it.
-As seen on the ‘gram

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“In a relationship one person is always right and the other person is a male.
-As seen on the ‘gram

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“What do you call a man shorter than 6 feet?”
“A friend.”
-As seen on the ‘gram
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“NO simply means, ‘Next Opportunity’. So let’s be positive.”

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“We can only judge God by His track record…”
-Christiana
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“It is not infidelity; it is worse than that,” he says sadly. “It is disloyalty.”
-The Earl of Shrewsbury, The Other Queen

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“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one can fully share its joy.”
-Proverbs 14:10

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“Bipolar? Me? I prefer the term ’emotionally action-packed’.
-As seen on the ‘gram

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“Doesn’t ability to do the job come into the equation?” [Nat asked]
“Of course not, you fool,’ said Jimmy. “This is politics.”
-First Amongst Equals, Jeffrey Archer

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“You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.”
-Henry Thoreau
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“We live in stages not plateaus. So there’s always a higher level of growth and learning. And one day you’ll have a bunch of kids. And more humbling and growing stuff will happen. Life be like that…It’s the burden of being a non-mediocre nigga.”
-Christiana

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“The horrifying moment when you’re looking for an adult but then you realise that you are an adult. So you look for an older adult, someone successfully adulting. An adulter adult.”

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“Basic hoes will always flourish in the little leagues. But you’re a heavyweight. Let’s regroup in 20-30 years…
-Christiana

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“But by means of their suffering, he rescues those who suffer. For he gets their attention through adversity.”
-Job 36: 15

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“Submission for a wife is basically faith that God is working through her husband to accomplish what is best for her.”
-Steven J. Cole

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[Remember] Everyone looks great through a Valencia filter.
-Christiana

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“Oftentimes we…mistake falling in love with a moment, with falling in love with the person we shared that moment with. I’ve become wise enough to know the difference.”

-Necole Kane alias Necole Bitchie
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Ossy: “I have ice cream in the freezer but the walk from my room to the kitchen is long….See why I need a robot?”

LOL!
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“I want a man who can make a woman feel like a girl. And who can make that girl feel like a slut. And who can make that slut feel like a woman.”

-ONLY Karen Walker Bcan say things like this in all seriousness. LOL! #Will&GraceLines

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“This myth is like purses and heels- pretty, but designed to slow women down.”

-Roxanne Gay

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“Its been a rough couple of weeks so I made myself a flower crown.”
-Humans of New York

LOL! I love it! So my sort of answer. It’s the western version of that unique Nigerian resignation we express with the popular phrase, “Abeg I cannot come and go and kill myself.”
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“…my perspective, a lot of times, is so much wider than someone who’s limited to the concept of any particular so-called world that’s not the real world. I take into account all of what’s happening, from the boom of business in San Francisco to the poverty in Africa — and that is wide perspective.”
-Kanye West

Oh Kanye, Kanye, Kanye, how many times did I call you? I’d have been so much more convinced by your “…wide perspective” claim if you’d said, “…from the boom of businesses in Africa to the poverty in San Francisco”. Miss me with your myopic, unoriginal, deeply unauthentic rants, bruh.

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“Everybody’s talking about people breaking into houses but there are more people in the world who want to break out of houses.”

-Thornton Wilder, writer (17 Apr 1897-1975)

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“South Africans will kick down the statue of a dead white man but won’t even attempt to slap a live one. Yet they can stone a black man because he is a foreigner.”

-Robert Mugabe in response to the recent spate of killings of other Africans in S.A
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“If I let you in, please don’t break anything.”

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Christiana: Like Trina you’re the baddest b*tch…[but] with morals.
Me: I should update my LinkedIn profile with that.

Lol
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“Most women worth having are a little bit complicated.”

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Mail trail between my mentor at work and I:

Her: *Sends link to David Lawrence song, “There is a King in You”
Me: Thank you! I really love this song; we actually performed the song as a choir in my church in England. 
Her: Madam, So what have you not done…
Me: 1. Scaled over tall buildings unaided
2. Balanced an equation correctly. Ever.
Her: I am sure you can. If you put your mind to it…
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“Power in the Kingdom is not based on ability but on availability.”
-William McDowell

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“Success doesn’t come to the sleeper.”
-German proverb

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“She’s the type of woman who thinks on her feet! She is quick of mind. She doesn’t need to go back home to get you a response; she carries it about with her! It’s in her purse, its on her person. Every time.”
-Pastor Lanre, HOTR

This really made me laugh

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“Respond to every call that excites your spirit.”
-Rumi

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“Your personal happiness is important to God.”

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“Look at your job as a Dream Maker; you can help people, your team reach their dreams. You can be a dream maker!”
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“I didn’t want just a friend, I was looking for an accomplice. An ally.”

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“You can’t judge a book by its cover…but you can by its first few pages. And you certainly can by its last”

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“Ours is a friendship formed once in this life…and again in the next. Good bye my brother.”

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“God will visit you in the morning so that your evening will be full of celebration.”

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“You cannot conquer what you cannot confront.”
-Reverend Uche

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“No concentration, no manifestation.”

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I used to be arm candy. Now I’m soul food.

-@klathelyricist

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My brother believed in all sorts of mythical creatures: pixies, dragons, werewolves, honest men.”
-Josef, The Storyteller by Jodi Picoult

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“You swept him off his feet.”
My grandmother laughs. “Hardly. I was all bones. No breasts, no curves, nothing. I had hair that was only an inch long over my head-the best style I could fashion after the lice were gone. I barely looked like a gitl,” she says. “On that first date, I asked him what he saw in me. And he said, My future.”
-Minka,The Storyteller by Jodi Picoult

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“Mediocrity is a whole industry on its own in Nigeria…so imagine if you’re excellent in the midst of this. You automatically create a niche market.”

-Mrs. Okonji

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Not Ken: “Ken, species like you are no longer on our shores.”
Ken: “Then count me the only American in Babylon!”

-Two Nollywood clowns

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“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up totally worn out and screaming, “Woo hoo!! What a ride!”

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“There’s widow, widower, orphan…but there’s no word on earth, in any language, to describe a parent whoSE lost a child. Maybe because there are no words to describe the loss.”

-Heard on Crime TV
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“The grace of God gives you what you don’t deserve. The mercy of God keeps you from what you so deserve.”

-1 Peter 3:13 paraphrased
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“It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.”

-Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

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“He, who had done more than any human being to draw her out of the caves of her secret, folded life, now threw her down into deeper recesses of fear and doubt. The fall was greater than she had ever known, because she had ventured so far into emotion and had abandoned herself to it.”

-Anaïs Nin

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“Love is like Ebola… Strikes indiscriminately and is furthered by transmission of bodily fluids.”

-EPIC Quote. Lol! Found on Secret
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“I step in the room and promote silence.”
-@destinygodley
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“I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly and then all at once.”

-The Fault in Our Stars
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“This is the only thing I will ever envy about a man: the way they bounce back from constant rejection. That is the only purpose the Y chromosome serves, correct?
-Samantha, B*tches Gotta Eat
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“Look let me just say it: He was hot. A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at most, a form of assualt. But a hot boy…well.

-The Fault in Our Stars
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“It’s hard to resist a bad boy who is a good man.”

-Anonymous, you aint never lied!
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“They say she is like many older women…simply mad because she is a woman and everyone knows that women’s grasp of reason is a weak one.”

-Queen Elizabeth, The White Princess by Phillipa Gregory
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“I don’t like to mention this but truth is people who possess or use common sense are so rare that common sense can be regarded as a super power.
– Commenter on Paolo Coelho’s blog said this so matter of factly, it gave me pause.

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“One woman filled with self love and self acceptance is a model more super than any cover girl.”
-A. Mercree
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“Fall in love with someone who treats you like Kanye treats Kanye.”

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“Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.”
-Morticia Addams
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“That was the day she made herself a promise to live more from intention and less from habit.”

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“There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honour your calling. It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.”
-Oprah Winfrey
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“Beauty is an attitude, there’s no secret.”
-Estee Lauder

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“Don’t wait for the stars to be aligned. Reach up and rearrange them in the way you want. Create your own constellation.”
-Pharell
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“Sometimes I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can anyone deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It is beyond me.”
-Zora Neale Hurston
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“You have to be madly in love with you first. So in love that you fell compelled to share it. Love is a commitment to protecting another person’s heart with the same passion you use to guard your own. You can’t commit to or protect my heart if you’re at war with yours. The more you love you, the better I can love you. It does us no good if I love you more than you like you…You won’t believe mine is true because you can’t see it in yourself! It all starts with you and it can only end as “us” if you’re open enough to allow it to.

-@RobHillSr
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“Truth is, no one can do what I do.”

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“Now, by contrast, there is the “He Fahn” scale, which is pretty easy to evaluate. A fine man really needs no true evaluation, but I’ma give you some things to consider…Does he have a beard? [Check.] Has that beard graced the innermost parts of your upper thigh? [*Raises glass*] Does he smell like promises kept? [Double check.] Are his hands manicured and does the touch of his palm feel like hard work and a retirement savings plan? When you look up at this man, does he make you wanna stand a little taller? How deep is his speaking voice? Does the sunlight dance on his shoulders in the summertime? Can he fix shit? Did you catch yourself gasping the first time you saw him in a suit? Does he know when to STFU? Does he know the gentle ways to yield you to silence?… If you can find a fine man that doesn’t give you too many headaches, you’re a winner and I salute you. These are rare breeds. Procreate with that man. The aint shittery is pretty high amongst the fine ones because their looks and overly permissive women have taken them where their manners, personality, and common sense have failed them.”

-VSB writer Maya K. Francis
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“No permanent friends, no permanent enemies…just permanent interest.”
-International Relations Code

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“Marriage is equality of worth…with hierarchy of function.”
-The Carpenter’s Church

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“I don’t have to be the skinniest girl in the room, but I definitely have to be the most confident.”

-Nene Leakes

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Think BIG. There are unseen forces ready to support your dreams.

-Cheryl Richardson

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“He loved the hell out of me. Literally.

-:)
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Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature nor do the children of man as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.

-Helen Keller

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No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.

-Author Unknown

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“I was just so enamored by her. I just wanted to read that book. I didn’t care what was in it.”
-Pharrell Williams on his wife, Helen
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“Growth for growth’s sake is the ideology of a cancer cell.”
-Edward Abbey
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“There is a greater need to extinguish arrogance than a blazing fire.”
-Heraclitus, Ancient Greek Philosopher

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“The grace of God gives you what you don’t deserve. The mercy of God keeps you from what you do deserve.”
-Pastor Kech, The Carpenter’s Church

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“You’re the perfect size for your personality. Like one of those tiny bottles of wine they give you on the plane; not enough to make you tipsy, but enough to make things a tad more exciting.”
-Terwase
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“[We act like] the wedding ring is alchemy; like it changes base metal to gold.”
-Vanilla Aima on turning ‘hoes’ to husbands or housewives.

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“If Jodi Picoult has her finger on the zeitgeist, Lionel Shriver has her hands around its throat.”
-Ron Charles on Shriver’s ‘So Much For That’ novel
The Washington Post Mar 17, 2010.

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“Some German words are so long that they have a perspective.”
-Mark Twain

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“Happiness is a monstrosity! Punished are those who seek it.”
-Gustave Flaubert
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“Pray that success will not come any faster than you are able to endure it.”
-Elbert Hubbard
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“We receive three educations, one from our parents, one from our schoolmasters, and one from the world. The third contradicts all that the first two teach us.”
-Charles de Montesquieu
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“What’s the point, even when you win the Rat Race…you’re still a rat.”
-Kayode encouraging my resignation from work

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“All nature wears one universal grin.”
-Henry Fielding

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“If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.”
-Steven Wright

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“Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil.”
-John Paul Getty

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“The chief enemy of creativity is “good” sense.”
-Pablo Picasso

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“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”
-Kurt Vonnegut

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“En Ma Fin Est Ma Commencement….It means ‘In my end is my beginning’. In every end is a new beginning.”

-Queen Mary, The Other Queen. Philippa Gregory

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“There are no radicals in Nigeria, only mad men and martyrs”.
-Tomorrow Died Yesterday, Garrick Chimeka

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“And then satan said “…put the alphabet in math”
-@SarcasmPage, twitter.com

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“Living day to day like I’m on benefits…relaxing to Jeremy Kyle.”
-My friend Ant responds a little too sincerely to my “How are things?”. Lol

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“As the circle of light increases so too does the circumference of
darkness”
-Anonymous

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“Frank Ocean Gay. World Shrugs”.

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“Whenever you wake up, that is your morning.”
– My favourite Igbo Proverb

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“The world needs its cowards, for who will tell the stories of the brave when they die?”
-Tomorrow Died Yesterday, Garrick Chimeka
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“For what doth it profit a man, If he gains the whole world and suffers the loss of his own soul?”
-Matt 16:26

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‎
“After dark all cats are leopards.”

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‎
“Thus fought the heroes, tranquil their admirable hearts, violent their
swords, resigned to kill and to die.”
-Anonymous

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‎
‘The fool hath said in his heart, “there is no God”.

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‎
“A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man will have to seek Him first to find her!” (AM)

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“Beauty accompanied by substance is an unjust weapon against a man’s armour.”
-K’naan

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“Do you have a husband…or do you have a father?!”
-Nene to Portia, Real Housewives of Atlanta (and you thought there was no wisdom in ratchet tv! Haha!)

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“It is by self-forgetting that one finds”

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Blue (to Kierra): “I dodged a bullet!”
Kierra: “Don’t tempt me!”

-The Game

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Chardonnay: “I’m sorry, I didn’t have a choice!”
Tasha: “I wish your mother did!”
-The Game
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“The grass is greener wherever you water it.”

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“I see you making sounds like treason is black and white. It’s not. It’s green”
-Reddington, The Blacklist
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“Who else carries rifles in Texas? Hunters, minute men, housewives…”
-Agent Rossi, Criminal Minds
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“Success comes to those who do not waste time comparing what they are doing with what others are doing; it enters the house of the person who says every day: ‘I will do my best.’ People who seek only success rarely find it, because success is not an end in itself, but a consequence.”
-Paolo Coelho
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“Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism. He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.”
– Albert Einstein

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“I once heard someone on a bus say that this guy had gotten under his skin. and it struck me as a remarkable thought-that someone could affect you so deeply they’d always be a part of you.”

-Mercy, Jodi Picoult

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Me reading aloud from ‘And The Mountains Echoed’: “Beauty is an enormous, unmerited gift given randomly, stupidly.”
Anita: So are brains.

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Tony: “Just went through our messages and the first thing I saw was, “One malt, two Caprison.” And your response was, “False economy!!”

Lol. The discussions I have with my friends are just bizarre.

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Examination question: “Why are there rings on Saturn?”
Elementary school child’s answer: “Because God liked it and so He put a ring on it.
Teacher’s comment: “Saturn was NOT a single lady!”
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“He thought of the grammar of Gaelic, in which you did not say you were in love with someone, but that you “had love toward” her, as if it were a physical thing you could present and hold- a bundle of tulips, a golden ring, a parcel of tenderness.”

-Mercy, Jodi Picoult
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“Everybody asking questions ain’t entitled to answers.”

-Rob Hill Snr
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“Penny for your thoughts, ” he said
“I’ll not rob you.’ I replied at once.

-‘Wolf Hall’ by Hilary Mantel

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Me: Quick one Och, please when is your wedding?
Och: Traditional in villa xxxx, white in Boston xxxx. So book accordingly.
Me: So…how much are tickets to your village?

LOL. Destination weddings are trying to lick my savings up this year! God dey.

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“This guy can whine! Every time its “betrayal from friends and associates!” Wetin? you be Jesus?!”
-Commenter on lindaikeji.blogspot.com on Big Brother Africa winner, Uti Nwachukwu
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“People always ask me, “You have so much confidence. Where did it come from?’ It came from me. One day i decided that I was beautiful and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl…It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see.”
-Gabrielle Sidibey

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“Anger is an emotion working without intellect. So remember, don’t get mad, be smart. Get everything.”
-Khatija’s Facebook status

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“Men say…”I ca’t endure it when women cry.”- just as people say, “I can’t endure this wet weather”. as if it were nothing to do with the men at all, the crying. Just one of those things that happen.’
-Liz Cromwell, ‘Wolf Hall’ by Hilary Mantel

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“If every woman that was cheated on had to stop giving any relationship advice girl talk would certainly be reduced to girl whisper.”

-Commenter on necolebitchie.com
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“…she would open herself to him. Rather than remain a sealed jar, she sought only to pour herself out to others. Everything she did mirrored her faith. It was as though every waking hour of every day she was devoted to pleasing her god by serving others. This god that she worshiped consumed her. It didn’t ask for a brief visit to a temple, or a small votive offering of food or coin, or a few prayers every now and then. This god wanted all of her.”

Excerpt From: Rivers, Francine. “Mark of the Lion, Book 01: A Voice in the Wind.”

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“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.
Take me deeper than my faith can ever wander.”

-Worship song I heard at church

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“I don’t know how to thank my lovely wife, Roya—to whose opinion I am addicted…”

Excerpt From: Hosseini, Khaled. “The Kite Runner.”

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“His scar is a mark of valour. Boys have perfection, I chose a man.”
-Nicole Royce, ‘The Prize’ by Julie garwood

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“Look at this one that looks like the space between charcoal and shadow asking for light-skinned girls!”
-Commenter on lindaikeji.blogspot.com on Akon’s apparent insistence on light-skinned video vixens

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“Who is the judge?
The judge is God.
Why is he God?
Because he decides whether I win or lose, not my opponent.
Who is your opponent?
He doesn’t exist.
Why does he not exist?
Because he is just a mere dissenting voice to the truth I speak.”

-The Great Debaters. Really good movie even for someone like me with the attention span of a fruit fly.

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“Time has no respect for beauty.”

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“Simple is true and we must stop complicating skies that were born clear.”
-Tyler Knott Gregson

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“Ignorance of the future demands diligence in the present.”
-Ecclesiastes

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“Your blog piece was excellent. I paused admiringly after reading. As in, this nigga paused, whsitled at his screen like it was a g-string hugging-booty, and sat back with a goofy grin, loving all the Nigeria he just swallowed with one read.”
-Namdi’s compliments are rather unique. Lol. I’m easy, I’ll take whatever I can get! Haha.

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“If he can’t wait for me, how can he wait for the second coming of Christ?!”
-Ant

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ME: “I think Yoruba is his first language…with English coming a distant second.”
Anne: Which kind second?! More like last child still at the 200m line in a 400m race when his mates have finished their glucose.

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“Never doubt in the darkness what God has given you in the light.”
-Hadassah, Echo in the Darkness.

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“We are Anonymous. We Are Legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget.”
-Anonymous’ tagline

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“Motion not meditation.”

-Mr. Banji

I got a ton of the next 50 or so quotes from this amazing site: http://conal.net/quotes.htm

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“Each day a few more lies eat into the seed with which we are born, little institutional lies from the print of newspapers, the shock waves of television, and the sentimental cheats of the movie screen.”
-Norman Mailer

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“When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.”
– William Arthur Ward

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“Make things as simple as possible, but not simpler.”
– Albert Einstein

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“He wondered if Jamie had picked [the casket] after he’d been released on bail. …How did you go about choosing something that would hold the half of your heart you had to bury?”

-Mercy, Jodi Picoult
………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.”
– Jonathan Kozol

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“Talent develops in tranquility, character in the full current of human life.”
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”
– Helen Adams Keller
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“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.”
– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

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“Most of us are just about as happy as we make up our minds to be.”
– Abraham Lincoln

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“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
– Mark Twain

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“If words are to enter men’s minds and bear fruit, they must be the right words shaped cunningly to pass men’s defenses and explode silently and effectually within their minds.”
– J.B. Phillips

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“A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past; he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.” – Sydney J. Harris

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“Do not praise yourself
not slander others:
There are still many days to go
and any thing could happen.”

-Kabir

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“New and stirring things are belittled because if they are not belittled, the humiliating question arises, “Why then are you not taking part in them?’’”
– H.G. Wells

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“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”
– Henry David Thoreau

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“Noise proves nothing—often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.”
-Mark Twain

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“It is easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.”
– Alfred Adler

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“If a man points at the moon, an idiot will look at the finger.”
– Sufi wisdom

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“A friend is a person before whom I may think aloud.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

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“Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.”
– Chuang-tzu

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“Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.”
– Paul Tournier

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“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

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“The liar’s punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.”
– George Bernard Shaw

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“He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche

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“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.”
– Marcus Aurelius

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“You can achieve anything you want in life if you have the courage to dream it, the intelligence to make a realistic plan, and the will to see that plan through to the end.”
– Sidney A. Friedman

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“For most of life, nothing wonderful happens. If you don’t enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are you’re not going to be very happy. If someone bases his [or her] happiness on major events like a great job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn’t going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.”
– Andy Rooney
Excellent thought! Ecclesiastes summarised.

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“Nothing is more powerful than an individual acting out of his conscience, thus helping to bring the collective conscience to life.”
– Norman Cousins

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“We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them.”
– William Arthur Ward

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“If you don’t make a total commitment to whatever you’re doing, then you start looking to bail out the first time the boat starts leaking. It’s tough enough getting that boat to shore with everybody rowing, let alone when a guy stands up and starts putting his life jacket on.”
– Lou Holtz

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“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”
– Jim Valvano

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“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”
– Alexander Graham Bell

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“The very first condition of lasting happiness is that a life should be full of purpose, aiming at something outside self.”
– Hugh Black

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“Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.”
– Rabindranath Tagore

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“He who would travel happily must travel light.”
– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

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“No army can withstand the strength of an idea whose time has come.”
– Victor Hugo

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“People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.”
– Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

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“The teacher is like the candle which lights others in consuming itself.”
– Giovanni Ruffini

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“The praise that comes of love does not make us vain, but humble rather. Knowing what we are, the pride that shines in our mother’s eyes as she looks at us, is about the most pathetic thing a man has to face, but he would be a devil altogether if it did not burn some of the sin out of him.”
– James Barrie

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Temper being a weapon that we hold by the blade.”
– James Barrie

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Love, it is said, is blind, but love is not blind. It is an extra eye, which shows us what is most worthy of regard. To see the best is to see most clearly, and it is the lover’s privilege.”
– James Barrie

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“The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.”
– John Vance Cheney

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“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.”
– Wayne Dyer

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“Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely.”
– Erma Bombeck

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“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.”
– Tom Robbins

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“If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”
– Alexander Solzhenitsyn

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“Nothing worse could happen to one than to be completely understood.”
– Carl Jung

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“Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy.”
– Robert Anthony

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“You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering.”
– Henri Frederic Amiel

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“What we wish, that we readily believe.”
– Demosthenes

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“There’s as much risk in doing nothing as in doing something.”
– Trammel Crow

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“If you want happiness for an hour – take a nap. If you want happiness for a day – go fishing. If you want happiness for a month – get married. If you want happiness for a year – inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime – help someone else.”
– Chinese Proverb

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“Don’t be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps.”
– David Lloyd George

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“Your decision to be, have and do something out of the ordinary entails facing difficulties that are out of the ordinary as well. Sometimes your greatest asset is simply your ability to stay with it longer than anyone else.”
– Brian Tracy

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“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make a mistake.”
– Elbert Hubbard

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“Love your enemies because they bring out the best in you.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche

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“The mind cannot long act the role of the heart.”
– Francois de la Rochefoucauld

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“There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first. When you learn to live for others, they will live for you.”
– Paramahansa Yogananda

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“Playing it safe is the riskiest choice we can ever make.”
– Sarah Ban Breathnach

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“What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it.”
– Antoine De Saint-Exupéry

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The key to the ability to change is a changeless sense of who you are, what you are about and what you value.”
– Stephen R. Covey

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“Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When you don’t know what harbor you’re aiming for, no wind is the right wind.”
– Seneca

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“The truth which makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear.”
– Herbert Sebastian Agar

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“To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind.”
– Theophile Gautier

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“One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.”
– Andre Gide

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“Figure out what your purpose is in life, what you really and truly want to do with your time and your life then be willing to sacrifice everything and then some to achieve it. If you are not willing to make the sacrifice, then keep searching.”
– Quintina Ragnacci

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

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“They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.”
– Francis Bacon

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“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”
– Charles Darwin

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“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid one hundred days of sorrow.”
– Chinese Proverb

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“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”
– Carl Bard

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“The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can’t be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.”
– Harry Emerson Fosdick

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“You will never find time for anything. You must make it.”
– Charles Buxton

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“The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think.”
– Edwin Schlossberg

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“Speech is conveniently located midway between thought and action, where it often substitutes for both.”
– John Andrew Holmes

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“It is easy enough to be friendly to one’s friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.”
– Mohandas K. Gandhi

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“It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires great strength to decide what to do.”
– Elbert Hubbard

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“An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes.”
– Cato The Elder

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“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

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“We should have a great many fewer disputes in the world if words were taken for what they are, the signs of our ideas, and not for things themselves.”
– John Locke

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“Expect problems and eat them for breakfast.”
– Alfred A. Montapert

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Life is an adventure in forgiveness.”
– Norman Cousins

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“To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.”
– Emily Dickinson

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“The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.”
– Bertrand Russell (in The Triumph of Stupidity 10 May 1933)

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“A bit of perfume always clings to the hand that gives the rose.”
– Chinese proverb

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“My aim is to agitate and disturb people. I’m not selling bread, I’m selling yeast.”
– Miguel de Unamuno

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“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens….”
– Carl Jung

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“When we understand the needs that motivate our own and other’s behavior, we have no enemies.”
– Marshall Rosenberg

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“It’s never what people do that make us angry, it’s what we tell ourselves about what they did.”
– Marshall Rosenberg

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“The significant problems of our time cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.”
– Albert Einstein

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“Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.”
– Ambrose Bierce

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“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.”
– Buddha

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“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
– George Bernard Shaw

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“Men are not against you; they are merely for themselves.”
– Gene Fowler

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“The desire for safety stands against every great and noble enterprise.”
– Tacitus

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“A moment’s thought would have shown him. But a moment is a long time, and thought is a painful process.”
– J. E. Houseman

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“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”
– Buckminster Fuller

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.”
– William James

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“The greatest obstacle to discovering the shape of the earth, the continents, and the oceans was not ignorance but the illusion of knowledge.”
– Daniel J. Boorstin

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“If you have the same problem for a long time, maybe it’s not a problem. Maybe it’s a fact.”
– Yitzhak Rabin

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“If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.”
– Lyndon Baines Johnson

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“I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.”
– Albert Einstein

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“Talent hits a target no one else can hit. Genius hits a target no one else can see.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer

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“Only mediocrity can be trusted to be always at its best. Genius must always have lapses proportionate to its triumphs.”
– Max Beerbohm

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“Religion is a defense against the experience of God.”
– Carl Gustav Jung

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“The discovery of this reality is hindered rather than helped by belief, whether one believes in God or believes in atheism. We must make here a clear distinction between belief and faith, because, in general practice, belief has come to mean a state of mind which is almost the opposite of faith. Belief, as I use the word here, is the insistence that the truth is what one would ‘lief’ or wish it to be. The believer will open his mind to the truth on the condition that it fits in with his preconceived ideas and wishes. Faith, on the other hand, is an unreserved opening of the mind to the truth, whatever it may turn out to be. Faith has no preconceptions; it is a plunge into the unknown. Belief clings, but faith lets go. In this sense of the word, faith is the essential virtue of science, and likewise of any religion that is not self-deception.”

– Alan Watts

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“Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation.”
– Oscar Wilde

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“Everything you can imagine is real.”
– Pablo Picasso

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“The moon could not continue shining if it had to pay attention to all the dogs barking at it.”
– Anonymous

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“The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that’s why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they’ve really done is they’ve shifted their relationship with time.”
– Caroline Myss

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“The creative adult is the child who has survived.”
– Ursula K LeGuin from @ktotheb on http://conal.net/quotes.htm

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“Speak well of your enemies. After all you made them.”
– Unknown

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“Science is the belief in the ignorance of the experts”
– Richard Feynman

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“Things are only impossible until they’re not.”
– Jean-Luc Picard

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“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.”
– Naguib Mahfouz

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“Time is God’s way of keeping everything from happening at once.”
– Anonymous

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“It’s really hard to design products by focus groups. A lot of times, people don’t know what they want until you show it to them.”
– Steve Jobs

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“The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd; indeed in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible.”
– Bertrand Russell

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“If you can’t solve a problem, then there’s an easier problem you can solve: find it.”
– George Polya

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“Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want.”
– Esther Hicks

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“Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their consciences.”
– C.S. Lewis

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“Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.”
– Richard P. Feynman

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“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.”
– Philip K. Dick

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“If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.”
– Henry Ford

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“A different world cannot be built by indifferent people.”
– Horace Mann

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“As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.”
– Eckhart Tolle

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“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”
– Lao Tzu

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“They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?”
-Anonymous

…………………………………………………………………………………………
……….

“Karpagian looked like Cary Grant in his prime, with silvered hair waving off his temples and finely manicured hands that looked capable of holding your confidence, much less anything more conventionally substantial.”
-The Pact, Jodi Picoult

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“THE TRUTH
And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”

-Kahul Gibran The Prophet

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“That a lie which is half a truth is ever the blackest of lies;
That a lie which is all a lie may be met and fought with outright;
But a lie which is part a truth is a harder matter to fight.”

-Alfred Lord Tennyson

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At seventeen, the smallest crises took on tremendous proportions; someone else’s thoughts could take root in the loam of your own mind; having someone accept you was as vital as oxygen. Adults, light-years away from this, rolled their eyes and smirked and said, “This too shall pass”-as if adolescence was a disease like chicken pox, something everyone recalled as a mild nuisance, completely forgetting how painful it had been at the time.”

-The Pact, Jodi Picoult
This is so true.

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“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves.”
-Julius Caesar, William Shakespeare

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“It’s like an emotional Bosnia.”
-The Pact, Jodi Picoult

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“The Hamptons are like a zombie movie directed by Ralph Lauren.”
-John Krasinki in ‘Something Borrowed’

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“I don’t have dreams, I have goals.”
-Harvey Spectre, Suits

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“We are lawyers, we are NOT in the honour business.”
-Jessica Pearson, Suits

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“My dear fellow if I have to do work, I am not doing my job.”
-Mr. Darby, Suits

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“I can’t exist in a system that works!”
-Ijeoma M on life abroad versus life in Nigeria

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“Melanie blinked at him. How could she trust this man, so imprecise with his words, to take care of the burial? To say there had been a loss was ludicrous; one lost a shoe or a set of keys. You did not suffer the death of a child and say there was a loss. There was a catastrophe. A devastation. A hell.”

-The Pact, Jodi Picoult
………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“An unforgiving enemy is not necessarily a formidable one.” *Shrugs*
-Me

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“Abyssus Abyssinia invocat: deep calleth unto deep.”
-Psalm 42:7

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“Acta non verba: Actions Not Words”

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“Ad Astra per alas porci: to the stars on the wings of pigs. For those who do not believe.”

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“The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”

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“I dream of a better tomorrow… where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.”

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“Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“The beginning is always today.”
-Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

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“Let us make one point, that we meet each other with a smile, when it is difficult to smile.”
-Mother Theresa
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“The best way out is always through.”
-Robert Frost
………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“A person’s abilities are tested best when defending rather than attacking.
-Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata, Animal Crossing: Wild World, 2005

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“Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense benefits to the one who forgives.”
Lawana Blackwell, The Dowry of Miss Lydia Clark, 1999
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“The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.”
………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“”War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.”
………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“God is big enough to handle His reputation.”
-Me

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“To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.”
………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“A slave is one who waits for someone else to set him free.”
-R. Brown
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“Great minds run in great circles.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.”

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“The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.”
………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“The universe does not have laws — it has habits, and habits can be broken.”
………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming dragon.

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Me: I’m moving to Lekki…..like the 7th roundabout.
Tijani: Oh, you’re moving out of lagos?

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“But quietly imitate
Olympus in your heart.
The gods are gods because they don’t think about what they are.

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“The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you’re not good enough. On occasion, some may be correct. But do not do their work for them. Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal. Don’t take it personally when they say ‘no’ — they may not be smart enough to say ‘yes.”
― Keith Olbermann

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“Everyone has an opinion, but elevating someone else’s opinion to the status of being a judge is really silly. After all, someone else can’t really judge you unless you confer upon him or her, the power of being a judge.”
-Mel Schwartz (found on http://www.paolocoelhoblog.com)

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“Earth’s crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries,
And daub their natural faces unaware…”

-Elizabeth Barrett-Browning

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“The trees have figured it out, to be needed by everyone and noticed by no one.”

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“There is no such thing as failure. failure is just life trying to move us in another direction.”

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“We are to love our enemies that they might be returned to their right minds.”
– Marianne Williamson

Lol

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Garcia: “How often do I tell you I love you?
Morgan: “Everyday. It’s implied.”

-Criminal Minds a.k.a The Best T.V Show in the World.

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“Cut my heart in different shapes of you.”
-Estelle

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“My good man, did you get carried away or are you really pointing your weapon at me with lethal intention?”

-Main character in Django, at gun point

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“You’re worried about my husband being angry with you?! You’ve clearly never made a woman angry before!”

-The Good Wife
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“My love for you is like copied assignment…I can’t explain it.”

-Kaelo’s status

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“May the bridges I burn light the way.”

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“They’ve promised us that dreams come true-but forgot that nightmares are dreams too.”

-Oscar Wilde

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“The Hebrew people walked the desert for 40 years, and all of them collectively are not as thirsty as Ray J’s thirst for Kim Kardashian!”

-Commenter on Youtube videon of Ray J on the Wendy Williams show (as seen on necolebitchie.com)

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“It is a mark of prudence never to trust wholly in those things which have once deceived us.”
-Descartes

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“I write because I don’t know what i think until I read what I say”

-Flannery O’Connor

Truth.
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“You must realise that fear is not real. It is the product of thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me, danger is very realm but fear is a choice.”

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“I alone can’t change the world but i can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”
-Mother Teresa
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“If God shuts a door, stop banging on it! Trust that whatever is behind it is not meant for you.

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“Expectation is the root of all heartache”

-William Shakespeare”

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“I didnt always know what i wanted to do, but I knew the kind of woman i wanted to be.”

-Diane Von Furstenberg

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“Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better? But because I knew you, my life’s been changed for good”

-Glenda, Wicked

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“He is exactly the poem I wanted to write.”

-Mary Oliver

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“Pick your battles. You don’t have to show up to every argument you’re invited to.”

-Mandy Hale

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“Don’t believe everything you think.”

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“That feeling you get in your stomach when your heart’s broken. It’s like all the butterflies just died.

-Tumblr

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“The way I see it, the world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you’re not good enough. On occasion, some may be correct. But do not do their work for them. Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal. Don’t take it personally when they say “no”-they may not be smart enough to say “yes”.

-Keith Olbermann

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“We are called to be intercessors for others…not ‘condemnors’.

-Mrs. Ogunseye

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Where does a thought go when it is forgotten?

-Sigmund Freud

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“I need some fresh air and a cigarette.”

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“I’ll do a lot of things for money but I draw the line at working.”

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“One of Satan’s favorite tactics is to resurrect buried sin. Wrapping that confessed transgression in his vain taunts and useless accusations, the enemy hauls it back into focus, hoping that guilt will paralyze and imprison a soul set free. Satan can hold us prisoner if we let him. But how often do we believe his empty lies – and by doing so, grant him access to that which he has no right? To break the hold of sin, we can and must stand against the enemy, trusting not in our feelings but in the facts of God’s word. And those facts are unchanging and crystal clear – when we confess sin, God forgives it.”

Culled from Girlfriends in God daily devotional http://www.girlfriendsingod.com/

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“Someone just threw up on my serenity.”
-Leyii
Lol

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“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move.”
-Douglas Adams

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“Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday”

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“The glass is not half-full nor half-empty, it’s twice as big as it needs to be.”

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“Everything is worth what its purchaser will pay for it.”
-Publius Syrius

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“The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.”

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“Governor Akala is bleaching, Oyo state is fading.”
-Nigerian comedian

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“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
– Woody Allen

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“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first”
– Mark Twain

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“He’s so corrupt that every time he smiles, an angel gets gonorrhea”
-Dylan Moran about Silvio Berlusconi

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“The Greatest Obstacle to Progress is not Ignorance, but the Illusion of Knowledge.”

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“I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”
-Groucho

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“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog”
-Mark Twain

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“Come to the dark side… we have cookies!”

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“The early bird gets the worm…so the early worm gets eaten.”

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“If we were meant to be nude, we would have been born that way.”
-Oscar Wilde

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“A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”
-Douglas Adams

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“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.”
~Don Marquis~

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“There are two kinds of people: the Human Being…and the Humans Doing.”

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“Buy land, they’re not making it anymore”
-Mark Twain

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“Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp — or what’s a heaven for?”
-Robert Browning

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“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
-Albert Einstein

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” They flank us to the north, the south, the east and the west. They wont escape us now.”
-Chesty Puller

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“”When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
-Mark Twain.
FYI, I found some really interesting quotes in the comment section of this site:http://listverse.com/2007/09/16/10-brilliant-quotes/

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“The Life Unexamined is NOT Worth Living.” credit given to both sometimes.”
~Socrates/Plato

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“Let them eat cake.”
-Margaret Thatcher on same-sex marriages

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“I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!”
-William Shakespeare
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“I believe in kindness…also in mischief.”

-Mary Oliver

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“I told God, “Protect me from my enemies” and I started losing friends.”

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“It was rather beautiful: the way he put her insecurities to sleep. The way he dove into her eyes and starved all the fears and tasted all the dreams she kept coiled beneath her bones.”
-Christopher Poindexter
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“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.”
-W.C Fields

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“A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.”
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“She believed she could. So she did.”

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“Expect anything from anyone. The devil was once an angel.”

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“Flowers say “I’m sorry.” Chanel says “I’ve learnt my lesson.”
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“High heels were invented by a woman tired of being kissed on the forehead.”

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“You rarely get what you wish for but you almost always get what you work for.”

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“What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.”

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“I saw that”
-Karma

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“Why don’t you tell me that “if the girl had been worth having,, she’d have waited for you?” No sir, the girl really worth having won’t wait for anybody.”
-F. Scott Fitzgerald

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“Trust your hunches. They’re usually based on facts filed aways just below the conscious level,”
-Dr. Joyce Brothers

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“Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.”

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“What do they mean ‘not homely’ though? Am I supposed to smell of freshly-baked cookies?!”
-Leila
Lol

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“Beauty gets the attention…but personality gets the love.”

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“Whatever u want to conceal 4m the Nigerian elite…put in a book”
-Mr. Shomolu, Property Law teacher, Nigerian Law School Abuja

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“Hard work is prayer in action”

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“Its incredible that someone so unforgettable thinks I’m unforgettable too.”
-‘Unforgettable’, Nat King Cole

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“Your sexuality isn’t all that you are and in being holy and focused, it is us reclaiming your sexuality from an over-sexualised world that undermines the dignity of the human spirit.”
-A young nun on Oprah
It does make sense though, so many women think they are empowering themselves by giving it all up but in actual fact, by being able to act with decency and moderation in a commercialized and super-sexualised world, is to empower yourself as a woman. I think anyways!
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“Answers will be questioned”
-An advert for a new TV show on M-Net

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“This is a fiasco!”
-Prebi, my 10 year old cousin

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“Everything good will come.”
-Sefi Atta
This has been my motto in life for a long time.

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“The accused person murdered his parents and then begged the court “Please be merciful to an orphan!””
-Corbin’s facebook status

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“Like a blind man reading, I’m feeling it.”
-Nnamdi
Between Corbin and Nnamdi…actually, and a host of other questionable characters, I might need new friends! Lol.

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“For every girl with a broken heart there’s a guy with a glue gun”
-Wale’s Blackberry messenger status.
I wonder if this is true…cute thought though. And I’m happy to report that about a year later, she did find Mr. Glue Gun!

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“Hmmmm….this is a challenge; I’m going to have to wrestle with it. Elizabeth, get the baby oil!”
-Jack, Will & Grace

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“My dreams are bursting at the seams”

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[About Michelle Obama]
“She’s confident, she feels comfortable in her clothing, she’s feminine and beautiful. I think she really understands who she is.”
-Hasselbeck

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“You shelter my soul.”

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“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”
– Marilyn Monroe
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“The boy had no idea where that place was but he knew the local library had managed to answer all his questions in the past.”

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“Good girls always get found.”
-Mr. Madaki my BFF 🙂

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“Single meaning to be separate from other things. Considered on its own”
-Pastor Tai + dictionary

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“It’s the repetitions of affirmations that lead to belief. And once that belief becomes a conviction things begin to happen.”
-Muhammad Ali

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“It’s not the mountains ahead that wear you out, it’s the pebble in your shoe.”
-Muhammad Ali

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“A voice raised against evil is always heard by God.”
-Paulo Coelho

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“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth”
-Muhammed Ali

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“The problem is you reason in vernacular”
-Mr. Shomolu, teacher at the Nigerian Law School
Makes sense though. If you translate from your ethnic tongue before you speak, the tendency to make grammatical mistakes might be increased.

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“Adversity doesn’t build character: it reveals it.”
-Christiana

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M: “Guess this is goodbye?”
J.J: “Like you’ve never seen it before”
-For Coloured Girls

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“No man walks into his destiny by walking backwards, the way forward is forward”

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“The future is not in front. It is within”

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“[A man that is…]Giving you his last because he’s thinking of you first.”
-Alicia Keys

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“Fumigate him from my life!” she asked.

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“When God blesses your neighbour, it means He’s in your neighbourhood.”
-Pastor Biodun, The Commonwealth of Zion Assembly

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“Celebrate what you’ve accomplished but raise the bar a little each time.”
-Mia Hamm
Great advice.

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“Sometimes, we have to keep reminding ourselves of who we actually are because sometimes it’s like all the elements on God’s grey earth unite to tell us “You are not that special/important/necessary. You’re really not a big deal” Lies. Nothing is as important to the existence of my world as I am. I am THE most important person to my destiny. So, I count. My life does matter. Sometimes I need to define myself or other people and situations will begin to define me.”
-Some advice I shared with a friend ages ago
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“An open mind is sometimes too porous to hold a conviction.”
-Ojone’s Blackberry messenger status
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“Things are working out… like I live in the gym.”
-M.I

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“Hearts will never be a practical appendage until they are made unbreakable.”

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“The holiness of myself.”

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“2013, The “I’m sorry-free” year.”

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“My love is too beautiful to have thrown back on my face.”
-For Coloured Girls

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“Take all your guilt and your grime and do what you want with it, I don’t need your sorrys for anything. Instead of being sorry, you should have been yourself.”
-Janet Jackson, For Coloured Girls

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“Someone almost got away with me, ME! In a plastic bag, under his arm! Someone almost walked away with all my stuff!”
-For Coloured Girls

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“They look like permanent residents of purgatory. In between life & death. Forever.”
-Commenter on crunkanddisorderly.net

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“Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren’t used to an environment where excellence is expected.”

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“To whom little is given, I hear the loudest noise.”
-Leyii

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“We rule the city. We own the night.”

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“Through the pain of yesterday a million tomorrows are born.”

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“She is equal parts Mother Theresa and Rambo.”

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“Temperatures struggling to get above Freezing.”
-BBC weather correspondent

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“He was a scholar…he was a writer…and he was something even greater than these: a thinker, a man prepared to seek out what was hidden. He was a dangerous man: a man not afraid of heresies, not afraid of questions, always wanting to know more; a man who would seek the truth behind the truth.
-The Other Boleyn Girl, Phillipa Gregory

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“I don’t even know you, from a can of paint….My name aint Yo & I aint got your baby!”
-Queen Latifah

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“Please I have NO contemporaries, I am in a league of my own.”
-Wendelyn 🙂
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“ ‘Educare’, the latin root of the english word ‘Education’. Meaning to draw out a skill.”
-Loyola Jesuit College music teacher on my last visit.

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“This weather is having a laugh…at my expense.”
-Adwoa
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“And all of the promises you’ve made to yourself have finally taken shape.”
-‘Diamonds’, Robin Thicke

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“Don’t let evil convert you, but convert and indeed conquer evil by doing good.”
-The indomitable Mrs. Y. Ogunseye. This woman is a bottomless pit of wisdom, I love her!

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“He who comes to equity, must come with clean hands.”

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“Never take advice from someone with no investment in the outcome.”
-Christiana

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“Procrastination is opportunity’s natural assassin.”
-Victor Klahm

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“A woman should not make a decision about love in a time of famine.”
-Christiana

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“Tough, uncompromising but most definitely a lady.”
-Heard this used to describe a female Secret Millionaire on the U.K version of the eponymous show.
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“You have to love it to possess it BUT it has to make sense to your lifestyle.”
-Oscar de la Renta

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“My ribs hold your heart.”

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“When two hearts beat as one, someone is dead”
-Andie’s Blackberry messenger status

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“Parents beat out of love, it was said. Teachers beat, neighbours beat. By the time a child turned 10, the adults they knew would have beaten out any cockiness the could develop into wit; any dreaminess that could give birth to creation; any bossiness that could lead to leadership. Only the strong survive; the rest would spend their life searching for initiative. This was what it took to raise an African child, a village of beaters, and yet if someone put their hands around a child’s neck, and applied the slightest pressure, someone else would accuse them of wickedness, because strangulation had nothing to do with discipline.”
-Everything Good Will Come, Sefi Atta

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“Are you one of those women who can’t trust somebody?”
“ I’m one of those women who wants to trust somebody.”
-Everything Good Will Come, Sefi Atta

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“I gagged class bullies with retorts until their lips trembled.”
-Everything Good Will Come, Sefi Atta
I love this because I feel like on some level, this was me in high school! Proud bully-gagger here! Lol.

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“Oil leaked from the drilling fields of the Niger-Delta to Swiss bank accounts.”
-Everything Good Will Come, Sefi Atta

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Grace: “I love you, Leo.”
Leo:” I don’t blame you.”
-Will & Grace

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“Whatever you can imagine, you can create.”

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“What does it take to stage a coup? It takes trust, confidence and guts.”
-General Babangida

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“Love the choices that you make and make them work for you.”

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“You’re never overdressed. The masses are underdressed.”
-Christiana
Words to live by. Lol. This was her reply to my worrying that in wearing a satin ball gown and straw hat to class at Berkeley, I might have been a tad overdressed. It was my birthday though….that MUST count for something! Lol! But who cares really? I’m not Cinderella, I have no balls to attend…I don’t go out enough to wear my fanciest clothes. Might as well wear a slinky silk number to go grocery shopping. *insert Kanye shrug here.*

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“Well well well if it isn’t my little antichrist.”
-Will, Will & Grace

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“You aren’t settling unless you’re accepting something that you shouldn’t.”
-Commenter on http://www.singleblackmale.org

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“Incroyables et merveilleuses!”

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“She felt like she had been dropped off a building, and was feeling her soul for bruises.”

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“This was beyond playing hardball. This was nuclear warfare.”

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“For a moment she wondered if it was something she had eaten (that made her feel sick). But she knew better than that now, she realised it was someone she’d married.”
-From a Danielle Steel book, I forget which but it was actually really good.
LOL

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“And then everything fell into place, like it was supposed to.”
-Some programme on CBeebies….out of the mouths of babes, yo! Lol

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“Mummy, I’ve been waiting days and nights for you! Come up here and kiss me!”
-Liv Tyler’s (??) son when she returned from filming on a set away from home.
#Cutest

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“Amazing women are never easy. Easy women are never amazing.”

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“When people show you who they are, believe them.”
-Eminem

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“You’re assuming that your vote counts.”
-I sometimes feel like this is an apt sentiment for Nigerian elections.

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“Fashion is what one wears oneself. What is “unfashionable” is what other people wear.
-Oscar Wilde
This remains my favourite quote on fashion.

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“He’s like a bad bra. No support.”
-Heard on Jerseylicious

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“Clothes that are an accessory to a woman’s lifestyle.”
-Yves Saint Laurent, I think.

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“Construction without justification is an indication of corruption.”
-Political analyst on Channels TV

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“What mattered to her was not what it meant but that it had happened.”
-Another Danielle Steel book whose name I forget yet again!

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“ ‘Ogbenyealu’ is a common name for (ibo) girls and you know what it means? “Not to Be Married by a Poor Man.” To stamp that on a child at birth is capitalism at its best.”
-Kainene, Half of a Yellow Sun

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“She was used to this, being grabbed by men who walked around in a cloud of cologne-drenched entitlement.”
-Half of a Yellow Sun

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“Strive for excellence. It pays,”
-Salamatu Suleiman, former Minister for Foreign Affairs

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“New research confirms it: men are mad as hell.”
– Mens Fitness article, 2ND Quarter 2011

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“That punishment has a generally deterrent effect is a questionable assumption, because it involves the doubtful assumption that human beings think clearly before they act.”
-Criminal Law textbook by Prof. Ojukwu

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“If they don’t call us to bar, we will call them!!”
-Marilyn when they threatened to call off our Call to Bar ceremony.

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“So come on into my brain. Make sure you take off your shoes and get acquainted.”
-Dr. J, singleblackmale.org

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‎”Coward: n, one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.”
-Nnamdi gave me this one.

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“The psychopath is essentially an amoral person who persists in anti-social conduct for no discoverable reason.”

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“Impossible is nothing.”

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“Question everything.”
-Khatija Blackberry messenger status

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“To describe such people as responsible is a fiction of an undesirable kind.”

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Down two with 4.1 seconds left, Los Angeles ran a play for Bryant to take the last shot. Everyone in the arena knew where the ball was going, but Bryant somehow found himself wide open. He grabbed the wild, hard-to-handle pass from forward Pau Gasol and let fly a high arcing three-pointer that splashed through the net at the buzzer. The crowd exploded, and Bryant threw his arms over his head like Evita. The look on his face was not surprise, not joy, not pride. The look very clearly said: Any questions?
-GQ article on Kobe Bryant

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“Like eunuchs discussing the Karma Sutra, voters discuss elections.”
-A book based in India I read once…and as usual, I now forget the name! 

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“Any sufficiently advanced in technology is indistinguishable from magic. “
-Arthur clarke

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“Accident did it use toh ring bell?! Did it used to tell you, “I’m coming oh!” ”
-Our driver, uncle Johnson
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“But God made the earth by His power, and He preserves it by His wisdom.”

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“The vision is for an appointed time. Though it tarry, wait for it. It will surely come.”
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“Woman, delicate but not fragile. Common only in dreams.”
-DSTV advert

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“1. Once, all villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer
all people gathered and only one boy came with an umbrella.
THATS FAITH.

2. Example of the feeling of a one year old baby. When you throw him
in the air, he laughs because he knows you will catch him.
THATS TRUST.

3. Every night we go to bed, we have no assurance to wake up alive the
next morning but still we have plans for tomorrow.
THATS HOPE.”

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“May God be:
Above u – For blessings.
Below u – For support.
Before u – For guidance.
Behind u – For protection.
Beside u – For comfort.
Inside u – For sustainance.
Stay blessed!!!”

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“Mens Agitat Molem.” The mind moves matter. Mind over matter.”

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“Na only Devil fit give person biro wan’ come collect car.”
-Pastor Flo, COZA

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“Men lie…like persian rugs.”
-Commenter, singleblackmale.org

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My Africa was a light one, not a dark one: there was so much sun. And Africa was an onslaught of sensations, as I once tried to explain to a group of English work mates, like eating an orange. What single sensation could you take from an orange? Stringy, mushy, tangy, bitter, sweet. The pulp, seeds, segments, skin. The sting in your eyes. The long lasting smell on your fingers.

But people concentrated on certain aspects of our continent: poverty, or wars, or starvation; bush, tribes, or wildlife. They loved our animals more than they loved us.
-‘Everything Good Will Come’, Sefi Atta

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“How does he know you’re going to hell?! Does he have the guestlist?”
-My colleague in response to a senior at work informing me I won’t get to heaven because I refused to go to the office’s church.
LOL!
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“It’s your turn to change the world.”
-Google Science Fair 2013
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“Be kind to the people that work a 9-5…the hardest thing in the world is showing up.”
-@passportcutty, Twitter.com

LOL! Three dreaded M’s; Me. Monday. Mornings.

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“In French, you don’t really say “I miss you”, you say “tu me manques” which means “you are missing from me”.”
-Pinterest.com
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“Don’t allow your wounds transform you into someone you are not.”
-Paulo Coelho

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“The whole idea of a stereotype is to simplify. Instead of going through the problem of all this great diversity – that it’s this or maybe that – you have just one large statement; it is this.”
-Chinua Achebe

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“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.”
– William W. Purkey

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“…then there’s other people, when you meet them you think, “Not bad. They’re ok.” and then you get to know them and their face just sort of becomes them. like their personality’s written all over it. and they just turn into something so beautiful.”
-Pinterest.com

I think this captures the situation perfectly! I reckon I’m a sapiosexual, so typical goodlooks are not always my initial priority.
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“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity and her flaming self-respect. And it’s these things I’d believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn’t all she should be.

I love her and that is the beginning of everything.”
-The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald

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“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

Check out http://www.sayingimages.com for great quotes, properly referenced e.t.c.
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“It is very easy to defeat someone, but it is very hard to win someone.”
-Dr. Abdul Kalaam
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“If you don’t ask, the answer is always “NO”.”
-Anonymous
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“When the British came to Ibo land, for instance, at the beginning of the 20th century, and defeated the men in pitched battles in different places, and set up their administrations, the men surrendered. And it was the women who led the first revolt.”
-Chinua Achebe

Check out:www.brainyquote.com
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“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

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“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”
― Robert Frost

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“Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.”
-Leo Tolstoy

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“A person has the right to NOT accept your apology. If that fact upsets you, you have made the apology about you and not them.”
-@Christiana87, Twitter.com

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“High horse?! B*tch please, I’m about that pegasus life!”
-@BlackHermit, Twitter.com
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“When suffering knocks at your door and you say there is no seat for him, he tells you not to worry because he has brought his own stool.”
-Chinua Achebe

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“…while some of us are just trying to reach heaven; hoping to chill at those pearly gates, Wendy you, you’re more like “Jesus, can I sit on your lap?!”
-Irede

LOL!! My friend Irede is actually one of the funniest people I know. What can I say though? #ThroneRoomKids! Lol.
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“If I hold her hand she says, ‘Don’t touch!’
If I hold her foot she says ‘Don’t touch!’
But when I hold her waist-beads she pretends not to know.”
― Chinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart
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“A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.”
-Friedrich Nietzsche

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“You’re here laughing at me in Lagos, meanwhile the witch in your village is fanning herself with your picture.”
-@Koye10, Twitter.com
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“I hate chairs that force me to sit up straight. You don’t know me or my struggles! You can’t make those decisions for me!”
-@Monaayy, Twitter.com
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‘Work as though everything depended on you. Pray as though everything depended on God.”
-St. Ignatius of Loyola

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“Among the Igbo the art of conversation is regarded very highly, and proverbs are the palm-oil with which words are eaten.”
― Chinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart

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“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.”
-Pinterest.com

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“Shame says that because I am flawed, I am unacceptable. Grace says that though I am flawed, I am cherished.”
-Pinterest.com
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He offered her the world.

She said she had her own.

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“Anytime you feel low just remember that Barack Obama’s ex is sitting somewhere. Watching.”
-Radio presenter on 93.7 FM
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“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.”
-Lao Tzu
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“Be nice to your siblings. They are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.”
-Pinterest.com

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“I pray because I can’t help myself.
I pray because I am helpless.
I pray because the need flows out of me all the time-waking and sleeping.
It doesn’t change God, it changes me.”
-C.S. Lewis.
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“For when I was a child, I thought like a child.”
-1 Cor. 13:11

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“Truth is still truth, even if no one believes it. A lie is still a lie even if everyone believes it.”
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“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
-Benjamin Franklin
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I have no business in your opinion of me. To the course of my existence, it is redundant.

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“The less you give a damn, the happier you will be.”
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Give freely. Give yourself wholly. Expect nothing to come back to you from your giving.
-Wendelyn!:)

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“Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth “…you owe me…” Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky.”
-Pinterest.com
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“I’ll break your heart just for the sound it makes.”
– ‘The Jerk’ by Jeffrey McDaniel

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You can plan a pretty picnic but you can’t predict the weather.
-Outkast, Miss Jackson.
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I am convinced that there exists a mechanism behind your lips, that siphons every last ounce of air from my lungs, when they stretch into a smile.
-Tyler Knott Gregson
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If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Only then would you realise how special you are.

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They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered.
-The Great Gatsby’. F. Scott Fitzgerald. One of my favourite books ever!

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Your mood should not dictate your manners.
-THIS! Lord please help me imbibe this.

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Today is much much better than yesterday, but I’m willing to bet, not as good as tomorrow.
-Alex Cross. ‘London Bridge’, James Patterson

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She knew that she was formed by God’s hands and dreamed up in His heart.

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Today you are you. That is truer than true. There is no one alive. That is youer than you.
-Dr. Seuss

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When you have to make a hard decision, flip a coin. Why? Because when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you’re hoping for.
-yanilavinge.net

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The most memorable people in life will be the friends who loved you when you weren’t very lovable.
–
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Faith is believing that one of two things will happen; there will be something solid for you to stand on. Or, that you will be taught to fly
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Im blessed. Ungrateful. But still, blessed.
-Ore

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You know men have that he-goat instinct.
-My aunty casually dropped this in a conversation and had the audacity to attempt to carry on as normal! LOL! I might need to put myself up for adoption.

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When the cat is away, why should the mouse act like a rat?
LOL! Nuggets of wisdom from Nollywood

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The closer you are to the fire, the more its warmth consumes you.
-Pastor Tai. Worship Tabernacle church, U.K

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The day’s not over yet.

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Your mistakes, when you go back and look at them, are just moments of being human.
-Nas
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As a girlfriend, you might see thirsty hoes tryna get a sip of your man. As a boyfriend, it’s his job to make those hoes deydrate.
-LOL! Not sure where I found this.
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I think there is a demon involved. holding me back. And this demon has string affiliations with my fear of rejection.

Which is odd- Because I have no fear of rejection.
-Ore
Lol! I honestly love Ore’s blog lettersfromroyalty.blogspot.com. Too funny!

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Inspiration will surely come…but when it does, let it find you painting.
-Pablo Picasso (via my friend Khatija)

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‘Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits’.

-I read this in a book,’Inspiration for Teens’ I had when I was younger, and never understood it. Then randomly, a few months ago the meaning struck me suddenly and I was awed. I love this quote and strive to live by it everyday. Don’t laze about, be useful in the wait!

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Unforgiveness is incapacitation

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The grass is always greener on the other side…because it’s full of sh*t.

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I am writing a report on the Subsidy scenario in Nigeria AND to be honest- what I am seeing is making me so embarrassed. Like literally- I just want to be Ghanaian or something. And nobody wants to be Ghanaian. Even the Ghanaians do not want to be Ghanaian. That is how embarrassed I am.
-More ‘Ore-isms’, found at her blog which is very much a reflection of Ore (funny, a lot of heart and unapologetically irreverent). http://www.lettersfromroyalty.blogspot.com
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“Alone but not lonely”.

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“Look at God!”
-I love this. My friend, Christiana, always says this whenever you give her good news.
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If that was satisfying, sending more seems logical
-Message on someecards.com site after you send an ecard. Lol

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Make the most of yourself for that is all there is of you.

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“Keeping up with the kardashians is contrived, sensationalist, repetitive and witless, but no more so than a lot of things one enjoys without accusing then of spiritual corruption.”
-Emma Brockes.
Journalist, The Guardian

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“What is my talent…well a bear can juggle and stand on a ball and he’s talented but he’s not famous. Do you know what I mean?”
-Kim Kardashian

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As long as the outcome is income!
-Drake

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“If you don’t tell a dude; “Not now, not then, not in a week, not if my mother dies, not if your mother dies. What I want to stress is that I have absolutely no interest in you whatsoever and these feelings will never change”, you may end up with him confusing persistence and annoyance.
I’m just saying.
-L.O.L! Quote from Dr. J on one of the funniest blogs http://www.singleblackmale.org

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Nigerian women love Brazilian weaves because it is the closest they can come to wearing actual dollar notes on their heads.
-Christiana

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Happy Valentine’s day to the boys who are bad for us but good to us.
-Ore

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Feeling good, living better.
-Drake
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Ore: You know bad boys are the ones that deserve our love, the good boys will get love from God. The bad boys need love from the good girls.
Me: Who will love the bad girls.
Ore: The bad girls don’t need love. That’s why they are bad.

LOL!
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“I really don’t like other people a lot.”
-Ore
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“Man wey like sleep na for him dream him roof go begin leak”

-Warri proverbs from ‘Warri No Dey Carry Last’

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Even in the valley of the shadow of death, two and two do not make six.
-Leo Tolstoy

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There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.
-C. S. Lewis

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“Lion say na him be the king of the jungle, elephant say him no dey the meeting that day”

-Warri proverbs from Warri No Dey Carry Last

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“Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.”
-C. S. Lewis
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“I never touched my wife, before I married her never kissed her, I never did anything. The first moment that we got married, we made Diggy Simmons, who is now number one everywhere.’…To live your life seriously according to the word of God, and then to witness firsthand the blessings raining down [is amazin…I imagine he means. Lol].”
-Rev. Run

It’s interesting to think that there might be a blessing for purity beyond the obvious. What Rev Run explains with Diggy’s success being a result of their faithfulness to God’s word is inspiring and beautiful. Sometimes, we can only appreciate our blessings in hindsight.

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Be unselfish. That is the first and final commandment for those who would be useful and happy in their usefulness. If you think of yourself only, you cannot develop because you are choking the source of development, which is spiritual expansion through thought for others.

-Charles William Eliot

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“Our duty is to be useful, not according to our desires but according to our powers.”

-Henri Frederic Amiel

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“Men define intelligence, men define usefulness, men tell us what is beautiful, men even tell us what is womanly”
-Sally Kempton quotes

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U no get shoe, u not get shoe… Shebi now u don get shoe?

-Commenter on lindaikeji.blogspot.com about President Goodluck Jonathan and his famous cry of understanding poverty because he never had shoes growing up.
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“I want to rip off your logic
and make passionate sense to you.”

– ‘The Jerk’ by Jeffrey McDaniel
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“Lagos is but a small Island where the distance between your enemies’ traps are even smaller.”
-Annamazing

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A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.
-Oscar Wilde

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“The day Rick Ross dives into the crowd is the day we will know his true fans.”
-Anita

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But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
-Mark Twain

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X: Ladies, what is the biggest/ heaviest thing you have thrown at your man
Y: Expectations.

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“God knows best.”
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“To whom brain is given, sense is expected”.
-Andie
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“NIGERIA LOSING 419 FRANCHISE

It appears other nations are snatching our 419 franchise right before our eyes. You might say this is a good thing but a loss is a loss….”
-Article in The Punch

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“It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards”.

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X: “What is infinitum
Alexa Chung: How much time have you got?

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Woman: “Please think of me as your sister!!
Man: * sigh* Ok. What’s your position on incest?”.

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“You have all my eggs in your basket and you stand there making omelettes?!”
-Tasha Mack, The Game

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“The 21st century, where deleting history is more important than making it”
-Dean Anthony Gratton

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“I am a woman, I can be as contrary as I choose”.
-Downton Abbey

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“A lying, corrupt Nigerian policeman called Ernest. Tell me, Ernest, do you appreciate irony?!
-Tomorrow Died Yesterday, Garrick Chimeka (EXCELLENT BOOK!!)

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Rogue Negroism: Situation where black people do things they have no business doing let alone being caught doing.
-Brothers With No Game, website

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A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling “Darkness” on the walls.
-C.S. Lewis

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If you could have Bill Gates’ fortune or world peace, what colour would your Lambourghini be?

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When a man decides to make YOLO his life motto, the bravery he attains can be compared to that of Ikenga the legendary warrior.
-@edochiewisdom, twitter.com

‘But to fall in love doesn’t mean to love.One can fall in love with a woman and hate her at the same time. Remember that!’
-Dimtry Karamazov, Most Direspectful Franz Moor.

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‎

“Unhappiness is not knowing what you want and killing yourself to get it.”

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‎
“You see things and ask yourself why. I dream things that never were and ask “why not?”
-Siri (iPhone) remixed Robert Kennedy’s quote nicely

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The era of the more u steal the more u have to plea-bargain with and as a result,the more u get to keep has commenced.Me,i haven’t used my gen for about 6mths cos i’ve had significantly better electricity supply and i live in Magodo…infact i make bold to say i want to dash Prof Barth Nnaji my gen set.President Jonathan,d ability to surprise Nigerians leans heavily in ur favour cos they don’t seem to expect anything good from u which eases d pressure n allows u to focus…pls surprise us positively.

-Commenter on lindaikeji.blogspot.com on President Goodluck’s interview with CNN’s Christine Amanpour. Her comment is in response to Goodluck’s claim that electricity has improved in his regime.
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“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born

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“Every other virgin from the harem took something of value into King Xerxes’ bedchamber for their introduction whether it was his favourite food, an exotic dance she had learned with seductive props, or a treasure from her homeleand.

Esther brought herself, esteeming herself as the best gift she could offer.”

-Esther 2:15, the Bible.

(See ‘Chosen’ by Ginger Garrett)
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If we are faithless, He remains faithful for He can not disown Himself. He remains faithful to his word and to His righteous character.-Amplified version.
If you give up on Him, He CAN NOT give up on you because there is no way that He can be false to Himself.-2 Timothy 2:13. Message version.
I love these translations of this scripture. Makes me happy. Very.

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“I STILL haven’t developed antibodies for your smile. “-Jeffrey McDaniel

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“If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy
If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing.
If she’s worth it, you won’t give up.
If you give up…maybe you’re not worth it?”

-Paraphrased from http://www.christianarants.com

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Nigerian Law School lecturer: “…the Cot of Appea’ and the Suprin Cot*”
Confused student asks: “Sir, would you please tell us what the ‘suprin cot’ is and what it has to do with the ‘cot of appea’? I suspect it has something to do with babies, but I hate to make assumptions.”

*Supreme Court & Court of Appeal

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“My dad told me ” When you are in a relationship with a woman you know is too good for you…Marry.Her”.

-Ashton Kutcher’s character in ‘Valentine’s Day’.

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Grace: “How hot is the new cook?”
Will (looking pained): “He is so hot he doesn’t even need to put the cookies in the oven, he just walks past them and winks.”

Another stellar line from ‘Will & Grace’.

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“I always thought there was something strange about the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Something about 7 short men living alone in the woods, without women…and with Napolean complex. It ain’t right!”

-Blanche Devereaux from one of the best shows on TV, The Golden Girls.
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“Before pigeons used to get scared at the slightest thing. Now days they look at you as if to say “BLUD, r u gunna dooo me suttin doe!?!?” PIGEONS ARE GETTIN TOO BRAVE!!!!”

-From the Facebook group, Pigeons Are Getting Too Brave. THIS is reason 43,567,170 why I love London town.

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‘Dont treat situations as life or death… otherwise you will die a lot of times’

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Miranda: “But there’s all those mixed signals…”
Burger: “Yeah, all code for he’s not that into you though.”

-Sex & The City

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“We dey dance ‘Alanta’, we dey Hip, we dey Hop.”

-Enter The Place by Tuface

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“Carpe Diem Quam Minimum Credula Postero.”

“Seize The Day And Place No Trust In Tomorrow.”

-Horace

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“Don’t be all up on your significant other, all vulturesque like Impending Doom.”

-How To Get You and Keep You A Man…by a commenter on verysmartbrothas.com. LOL.

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“Observe the women of France how they achieve what they want not be stamping their little feet. But by making the men believe that they are in charge. THAT is the art of being a woman.”

-Mrs Boleyn, The Other Boleyn Girl.

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“Nothing suceeds like excess.” -Mr Wilde….(I’m just realising how true this is).

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“Nigerians laugh at themselves a lot, though. Never mind that it hardly appears that way in our literature. Maybe we are afraid that the foreign aids and grants will stop coming if the world catches us laughing.”
-Adaobi Nwabauni, author of I Do Not Come to You by Chance (interview)

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“Everyday millions of people suffer from Monogomy. There is no known cure.”

– Carrie Bradshaw, Sex & The City.

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“On the wedding day, the groom is smiling because he believes he is achieving something great by marrying this woman. The bride is smiling because she has been able to convince him that he is achieving something great.”
-Julie Garwood, No.1 historical romance author. In my books anyway.

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“The fight for a pure mind is not a days job so don’t give up when it doesn’t appear overnight. It’s a fight that might take days, weeks or months. Appreciate every small step you take forward and when it feels you have fallen, don’t give up! Just get up and continue the fight. This is a fight you are guaranteed to win because God is on your side.”

-2nd Corinthians 14:4

SEE ENCOURAGEMENT!!!! Reason number 9,556,663,436,000 iLove the Bible.
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“Chief Gani Fawehinmi was simply inimitable, puritanically committed, inscrutably remonstrative, ideologically transcendental, quixotically cosmopolitan and a ready conveyor-belt of legal tomahawks which he intrepidly …deployed in his cascading fulminations against our philistine military and political class. His transition is not just the fall of an Iroko but indeed the grand initiation of an iconic legal salamander. We only hope that we didactically learn herefrom that it’s not so much our sybaritic life styles that matters more than the quality of service we render whilst we sojourn on this earth plane”.

-Comments by Nigerian Senator, Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon.

EPIC. FAIL.

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“My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.”

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Panama: “I’m actually a slight variation of the ‘Devil On Your Shoulder’ Friend. Then again I’m also the ni99a that will tell you to jump off a bridge if you call me talking about ending your life. Don’t talk about it, be about it!…
*Panama on Suicide Hotline*: “You wanna slit your wrists? Well go ‘head then! What you calling me fo’??!” *click*…”

-Comment on verysmartbrothas.com

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“Education is a wonderful thing, provided you always remember that nothing worth knowing can ever be taught”.

-Reason #2, 045 Oscar Wilde remains the one person in history I would have loved to meet. Somehow I suspect he would have been my gay best friend.

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“Men may be from Mars and women from Venus but some observant Venusians understand the brute fundamentals of Martian psychology”.

-Stephen Holden.

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“The world turneth upside down; the babe feeds its nurse, the pupil teaches its teacher. And the ass wipeth its master”.

-Comment in explanation bit of my ‘Measure for Measure’ by Shakespeare book.

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“Many things that happen in Nigeria are so unbelievable that they could very easily be misconstrued as fiction. Recently, I heard about a house that caught fire in Aba. Because the Fire Service arrived after the house had been completely razed by the fire, an angry mob made their way to the fire station and burnt the fire station down! That is the sort of thing that happens only on the pages of novels or in soap operas, but in Nigeria, those sorts of incidents happen every day.”

-Adaobi Nwabauni author of I Do Not Come to You by Chance

(I wasnt sure if I should be proud at the community spirit or mad at the shortsightedness. *Sigh* Nigeria)

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“She doesn’t look, to me, like somebody who doesn’t have brain…..but yet…”

-Larry Coldsweat one of the funniest and most underrated Nollywood actors. #NollywoodComedy

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“Grace simply means that your prayers are ALWAYS precious to God.”
– My pastor said this to me. I love this statement so much, it just gives me assurance & peace.:-)

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“You look at her and all you can think is “Damn, thats a BIIIG b*tch!!!”

-‘Miss’ Jay on Kimora Lee. LOL!

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Perplexed Principal to John: “John, the space between your intelligence and the things you do is just too wide!”
-I heard this in a central London school where I was turtoring some kids, I laughed myself home that day.

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Mother: “Be content, all fingers are not created equal.”
Son: “Yes but why must I have the shortest finger?!?!”

#NollywoodComedy

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“The best way I can describe it is incestuous….I love her like she is my blood. But, with the intensity of lust, infatuation & romance.”

-A commenter on verysmartbrothers.com defining love for his wife. Damn!

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“Daisy of Love* is breaking new grounds by centering on a bravely unattractive woman.”

-verysmartbrothas.com

*Dumb dating show

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“Marcus himself had little faith in gods. Though he worshipped money and aphrodite”

-Echo in the Darkness by Francine Rivers. Inspirational book.