One of the hardest things for the saints, is to know when seasons end.
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The best way to get people to listen to us is for us to listen to God. Why? Because we’ll have something to say that is worth hearing
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When he was 2, Kaito would say, “My sad” when he wanted to say he was sad. As though he saw sadness a thing separate from himself, not as a thing that defined him. “My sad” which can seat side-by-side with “My angry” or “My happy” the next moment, as opposed to the emotion owning him eg “I am sad.”
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This year, I will be purposeful in all things and all areas of my life. No more coming and going like an abiku.
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A big part of the miracle of multiplication, is giving all you have
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There are some things that you have to lower your fist to see. Sometimes you miss some things because your fists are raised
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There’s something my husband used to say when we were dating, about a love bank. He used to say you should store as much as you can inside your love bank on good days…so there is enough for a withdrawal on a difficult day.
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Just finished reading Crazy, Rich Asians. Two things. Excellent plot but pretentious writing. Also, these are the children Kaito will be competing for jobs and influence with in future. We need to raise a charming and confident child who can thrive in all environments without losing himself. ALSO, Africans cannot boast of old money dynaties like the Chinese, thanks to the colonialists. Our new moneyed class is mainly founded on corruption and loopholes in the system.
Very sad. ALSO, these are three things really.
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Thinking about pregnancy. It’s crazy how willing you are to risk your life for someone you’ve never met.
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Be discerning of wolves in sheep clothing and sheep in wolves clothing. The former you fight, the latter you engage. For there’s is a sadness in the insecure who hide behind masks.
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Confidence in God is what we need. Confidence that he hears and helps…and more importantly, that he wants to hear and helpyou in particular.
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Delighted at my lot in life
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God has enough for all His children. James 5:11
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Align my life. Set my life in order for you.
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Push out into the deep. Jesus said.
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When a public servant held on charges of corruption readily meets 200 million bail condition.
Oh the irony.
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Don’t let the evil people do to you change who you are. They don’t deserve the power to chart your destiny because of their attempt to sabotage it.
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Cardi B may be the stereotype of black women as ratchet and loud…
BUT, Azaelia Banks is the stereotype of black women as bitter and always angry.
Pot calling kettle negro.
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Facebook: The greatest danger to Nigerian middle aged workers’ productivity
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It’s 2am. I am up. It is the only time all day I have been able to just breathe. Just sit. No mummy. No wife. No work. Wendy. Just Wendy.
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Watching The Chi. Actually worried that African American children from lower income neighbourhoods don’t stand a chance. Between the underage sex and poor grammar (inside the primary school premises no less!), I am saddened. Nigeria has its problems and they are obvious. America looks so pretty from the inside, unless you’re black and broke…then the country is black and broke.
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Wendelyn is a wife, mother, lawyer and feminist who believes a woman reserves the right to determine who she is…and in what order 😉
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There are some things we don’t know to put on our ‘list’ of what we want in a spouse. My husband’s willingness to do life with me makes me realise this: DO NOT MARRY A RELUCTANT MAN, LADIES! It shows up in so many little ways. “Can you pick me up from work?” Can you help me with the kids?” CAN YOU MAKE MY LIFE EASIER, NEGRO??
No, not unless it’s at some convenience to me.
Shame.
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Tupac and Biggie died at 25 years old. What an absolute waste. Man, I have to stop watching the Chi. Look at young people wasting their lives so casually.
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We should encourage the men in our lives. They are brittle: Strong yet liable to break
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Leave Kanye, Beyonce is the real musical genius of our age. Here listening to Flawless and getting hyped enough to box my boss this fine Tuesday, fam!!
I. WOKE. UP. LIKE. THIS!!!!!! YAAASSSSS, SAAAAAAANG SIS!!!
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Be gentle with people
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Amarachi Nwokoma in Lagos became Grace Goodman in London. Lol.
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Help me to serve you the way you deserve
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I didn’t throw a bouquet at my wedding because I think it embarrasses people. In a culture that already ‘fishbowls’ and loves to shame unmarried women, why bring them out to make it more obvious to the curious and malicious??
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Being a mum is…becoming proficient at using one hand for oh, just about everything!
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The BBC joins a host of news channels reporting that President Buhari’s media aide boldly states that the reason the obviously still very sick Nigerian president is ‘working from home’ instead of taking his place in the Nigerian equivalent of the Oval Office, is because the office has been over run by rats.
I’ve always said there is just the one problem with Nigerian politicians: A lack of shame.
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You know, if I didn’t know any better I would think that Donald Trump was planted by the Opposition to bring down this government. How in a country that is as divided as America is just now, does a president post this: “Sad to see the history and culture of our great country being ripped apart with the removal of our beautiful statues and monuments. You…..” on Twitter no less. Just a frightening lack of tact and common sense.
America, look what you’ve done.
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We should all be feminists: we should all fight for the rights of every human being to be protected, nurtured and respected. The rights of women particularly, because we have dwelt in a system that has many times bastardized those rights. However, I differ from the feminist strain that rejects every idea that does not conform to it’s own, as a reflection of patriarchy and a sign of repression. If you respect the right of every human being solely because a human being is a person imbued with their own rights and opinions, then you ought to respect the differing and sometimes seemingly crazy thoughts others choose to stand by. They have a right to do so. A right to do so without your judgment. After all you are not fighting for the right of all women to think like one set of feminists, but for the right of women to think for themselves, full stop. Otherwise, how different are you from the patriarchy that seeks to subjugate anything that differs from it? Leave…and Let live.
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Black women are so incredibly dope! And I would say that even if I wasn’t a nubian queen. Lol. Really! Read yet another thing the media claims a Kardashian started: Pierced nails, hoodrats and Nollywood movies have been on that trend from time immemorial, and our ancestors in East Africa before that. But the world needs a porcelain seal of approval to make it a fad. Just made me think how glorious black women are, that innate sense of style, the inherent call to drama and decadence, the natural curves and wanes of our bodies, our character and resilience, the thousand shades of black?! What an amazing group to belong to. God took extra special care, probably made us on day 9: Cheat Day…added extra sugar, spice and everything nice! 😉
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“Hygge.
Pronounced Hyoo-Guh
The Danish word referring to the absence of anything annoying or emotionally overwhelming; taking pleasure from the presence of gentle, soothing things. A sense of coziness, comfort and belonging in a word. Hygge is the intangible thing that turns a house into a home.”
-Darling Magazine || December 2016
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“The Orientation Camp clinic where the corps member was first treated has a total of 31 qualified and registered doctors, 20 pharmacists and 11 nurses.”
– Solomon Dalung, Nigerian Minister of Youths and Sports
Nigeria irritates my soul, Nigerian politicians disgust me. Truly. 2 Corps members die in camp due to the dilapidated state of ALL NYSC camps and this fool comes out to say this?! Which government hospital in the whole of this country has “31 qualified registered doctors, 20 pharmacists and 11 nurses?!” Then it’s a camp in ZAMFARA that’d have these?! This Minister comes and lies to our faces, telling us tall tales about how these deaths have led to his resolve to fix any dilapidated NYSC camps. News Flash Captain Obvious, ALL camps are in a death-inspiring condition and have always been even from the days my parents went to camp! So why pretend to be surprised?! Why wait till kids die before you make a difference? NYSC is a substantial part of your portfolio, why didn’t you look into the state of things before people died, Mr. Dumb Dalung? Nigerian politicians, I really can never understand why you hate us so much. Why?
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When the weekend didn’t even happen. #Whomp
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“When you think the Nigerian Police is the worst…then your friend in Sudan tells you about being fined by the police for wearing sandals instead of shoes to drive. LOOOOOL…African Police stay making up laws though!”
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“You are the love of my life, a chunk of my joy. I’d rather fight with you than live at peace with anyone else.”
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“I did not want to walk into marriage the way I fell into love.”
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If it’s too good to be true, it must be God.
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“Hola ! Hola! We popping bottles…we making noise!” – Sugarboy. #Currently
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I would LOVE to be able to take photos with this sort of detail! Look at the shadow of her lashes on her face…
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#MELANINMAGIC! Elle Canada’s September issue pays homage to black women’s hair styles. Black women have so much style and swag just churning in our blood, I love it! Crazy how we’re just gorgeous in every shade, we need to understand and internalise this regardless of what anyone else says- we are the standard of beauty. No one should define your own beauty but you.
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I want to go on holiday. Get lost somewhere, lay in bed, order room service and run through the entire F.R.I.E.N.D.S boxset. I don’t ask for much from life. Life, wah you seh?!
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Just when Nigerians thought life couldn’t get harder. Oh hey, hey Mr. President Buhari! *Waves*
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What most Nigerians REALLY want to say to Nigeria…while dragging Ghana Must Goes to the Ghanian border. Trust me, the irony of the whole thing isn’t lost on me. #Deuces
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50’s style. Yes, yes please.
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Odiri did it! @odirididit make-up slayin on the streets though!!!!!
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“You can always tell a Morehouse man…but you can’t tell him much!” LOL!
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Crazy how God answers your prayer and it’s so good you’re almost afraid to believe it’s an answer from Him. “Maybe it’s a trick” you think. Like when NEPA gives you a whole day of electricity without a singular power cut and you’re sure something will go wrong soon. God forbid. God is not NEPA. The blessings of God make rich and add NO sorrow. Maybe that’s how we do know it’s God: It brings an abundance of joy and peace…yet asks for nothing in return. It Is God’s Doing…and it is marvelous in my eyes.
Thank you for looking out for me, Jesus.
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When NO ONE on the team came out to play #GetInFormation
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My favourite magazine.
Darling Magazine | The Art of Being a Woman.
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I bleed for seven days and do not die, how am I not magic?
-Nayyirah Waheed
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I love this photo! Cracks me up everytime. “Shhhhhhh don’t say it!!”
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I legit think this is how my baby daughter will look…because my husband has good hair *ahem*
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When yo’ whole squad an A #Pinging
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Relationship Lessons 101
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Uhhmmmm hey tailor girl, hey!!! I’m about to copy the hell out of this style.
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#RELATIONSHIPGOALS #SQUADGOALS
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I work too hard to be balling on a budget…yet, here I am!
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#SlayQueen
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Really loving South African House music right now. I find it’s the only thing I can work to. Check out Black Motion’s ‘Father to Be‘ song.
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Now that we’ve found love what are we gonna do with it?
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When people upset me, I normally wonder what actually gets me riled; what they did or what I tell myself what they did means? And then I ask myself if it’s worth keeping the person around to try it again. It’s usually not.
How to Lose Friends & Alienate People 101.
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I never understand why people think grieving with others is relating where they were when they heard of the death the other person is mourning. And why they almost always follow this up with a tale of how they themselves narrowly survived the horrific activity that killed the person. Like, “You know I was JUST on that very road he died oh, just two minutes before his accident.”
Abeg go.
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“God is leaning in my direction.”
I adore William Murphy. Amazing worship leader. Can’t decide who I like better, William Murphy or McDowell. Amazing.
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For those that keep thinking I have no vices, I got reminded today what my vice used to be. Anger. Thank God for His intervention because on my own, HA, infact all I’ll say is, the story of Samson tying and setting fire to foxes tails and letting them run amock in his neighbours’ field. That’s an illustration of my mouth basically. Thank God for saving me from myself.
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I love Mariah Carey, she’s so unapologetic.
BTW how does she get away with her lyrics??? All the random four syllable’d words and complex grammar?
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Sometimes i wonder how far God’s mercy goes…especially when we are living in a system with corruption inbuilt in its every fibre.
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For real why can’t I find the story of Lucifer’s fall and taking 1/3 of the angels? I’ve only seen the story of the fall in Ezekiel. Is this theology that’s become like folklore passed down from generation to generation?
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Awwww guy next to me in church has had to check the meaning of two words the pastor used in the sermon. As soon as pastor says it, he checks the meaning. I love that this guy really wants to follow and is trying to make sure he understands. I am always stopping in the middle of service to Google anything that is said that doesnt sound correct to me. Because for salvation, na only me waka come.
#Berean
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I don’t know where we get our sense of humour from, Nigerians. Just overheard a woman complaining about the heat and her companion responded, “E be like say the last person wey leave hell fire no close door well!”
LMAO! I’m done.
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This heat oh biko, tear my skin and ventilate my bones abeg! 38degrees?!
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Valentine’s is a really interesting holiday. I guess it only just occurred to me that when people ask you what your plans are for Valentine when you’re single, it really is odd. Lol!
I aways think when I’m asked, “I’m single though, what does Valentine’s have to do with me?”
It’s like asking me right now, “So are you happy with the decorations at your wedding venue?!”
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My Christmas present to myself just arrived!!!! Eeeeekkk….the excitement is bee-yawn-‘d
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People are so spoilt. When you work for a multinational. When you’ve only ever worked for a multinational.
People need perspective. Work for a one-man/one-oga Nigerian outfit first then let me hear you complain about this Company. Schew.
Nonsense.
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Spotted what scientists must surely be terming The World’s Cutest Child, just now! Major #OvaryAche
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The number of men who don’t want to be considered the bad guy….yet stay doing bad things.
#ComedyOfErrors
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I forced my entire office to play Secret Santa again this year! Lol! They act like they don’t but they low-key love it. The way they get excited when they open presents??? You’ll wonder how quickly grown engineers can morph into nursery school kids at recess. OOOOOO I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!
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The most powerful tool we wield in teaching, is our example.
I adore my parents, just for being so damn consistent. When words and actions match. #Winning
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Sometimes there’s no logic, it’s just life unfolding.
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Lol errr there’s no need to replace my accent, it works perfectly fine thank you.
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I just realised something… all Jesus’ disciples have is their availability
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Every bad thing happens because of a poor choice someone made. Someone made the wrong choice to hire a faulty plane, the devil didn’t make the plane crash.
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Click here to see 20 Photos of Small Acts of Kindness captured in 2015. Made my heart smile and my soul sing. There is hope for humanity y’all!:)
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On raising kids…
I want to raise really socially conscious children. Just really thoughtful and considerate of others, smart and curious and not so sheltered as to be separated from the realities of life or to feel entitled
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I love these two, Ornella Mayassi and Betty Richoux, founders of dance/design label Tyla! Real #SquadGoals if I were still like 19! I watch all their videos with a smile on my face…even when they’re chatting in French with their girlfriends and I’m STRUGGLING (read: clueless) to follow.
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ALL I want for Christmas…is a pink Chanel tweed suit. Please.
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Somewhere between the LSE and the real world you lose sight of your place and that throws your confidence. At the LSE everyone is clever; you have to be clever to get in, so even through you’re the last in class you know you’re still leading a ton of people outside uni. “You are the leader of tomorrow, the ruler of the pack” they say…and then you join the real world and you realize that you’re just as ordinary as anyone else because in real life it’s not only about who’s smarter. Sometimes it’s who knows who or who came first…or who dared. It’s a dog eat horse world out here.
Welcome to reality.
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Naïveté in adulthood is cute unless accompanied with stupidity
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On surrendering: I always think it’s a huge thing because my focus is usually on the sacrifice I’m making not the one I’m making it for. When you look at the person or thing that you’re sacrificing for, everything feels worth it.
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Every single song currently on the top twenty chart….is about fornication. Wow, talk about institutionalised sin.
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SERIOUSLY craving this artery-blocking delight :((…who’s coming from the land across the seas?! Help. Me. *Insert quiet sobs*
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I cannot get enough of this song! ‘Duro’ Remix by Techno feat. Flavour & Phyno.
“I love you baby, no think am twice…Asamwa my baby boo…You’re my remedy…you’re my melody…baby na harmony…”
Lol so cheesy yet so oddly sweet. Just listen to the trumpets on this song….Lawd!!! *Returns to wiggling inappropriately on office chair* Lol!
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Can we just agree that the MET ball is a costume party not done on Halloween?
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FHM lists top ten sexiest women in the WORLD…i.e ALL continents…and all the listed women are porcelain white.
Quel surpris.
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I LOVE the collective look of smugness (trying to be disguised as humility) on the faces of a great choir when they’re walking back to their seats after leaving their souls on the stage. It’s like, “Yes, we killed it…but that’s just how do, don’t even worry about it!” Lol!
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“A lot of women, when they’re young, feel they have very good friends, and find later on that friendship is complicated. It’s easy to be friends when everyone’s 18. It gets harder the older you get, as you make different life choices…A lot of women’s friendships begin to founder.” -Zadie Smith
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I downloaded the Expressers keyboard on my phone. I love it, it is the funniest way to have a chat. The facial expressions are so apt and able to express things in a way words never can.
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Honestly the Egyptians in the time of Moses were kind of funny. It seems foolish for a parent to wait until they lost a child to the unseen Hebrew God before they trust in His power…or their pharaoh’s lack thereof. At the first sign of the plague of frogs (F.R.O.G.S??!!! *shudders*) I would have been out of Cairo with the quickness! Like chucking the deuces and muttering like, “Yo! Forget this, home is where the heart is anyway!”
I’m not about that life.
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Who I am today could only have happened because I had room to stretch.
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Thank you for keeping me from myself
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Shout out to this stunning bride with the biggest heart and an even bigger smile, Dolapo aka Dolly aka Jaji Girl aka The Reason I Have A Degree. She helped me keep sanity through one of the hardest times of my life; sharing her notes, taking notes for me, keeping me on track at school and so much more. They should have just called both our names to receive that my LL.B tbh.
When the turn up too realllllllll…even NEPA can’t stop you #BecomingtheRoberts #LastBridesmaid Duty2015
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A break up hurts not because we lost love, but because a friend, and a friendship, died.
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Remove extras and distractions so you can diligently seek God FOR YOURSELF
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Namdi! Aka My original Alobam*! Happy birthday! We only have one day in the year to be totally gay so I’m going to max this one out. I’m ill, it appears that the respiratory infection I had that time I was hospitalised has returned. But clearly this our love is serious because although I’m too weak to lift my phone, I’m somehow sending you this message. Now that’s love, real love! lol!
This is such a big year and for you I pray that it’s a crystallizing one. A year that brings clarity, colour and focus. You don’t always think so but you have such a generous spirit. You’ve taught me so many things about reality and understanding the many shades of grey, of giving people the benefit of the doubt and trusting myself. I’m very grateful for you and yes, you definitely deserve to be my maid of honour. Who else would join me in nano-dissecting my crush’s intents and actions?? Thank you for so much. I pray for your happiness consistently and hope that you always know that you can rely on me.
*Alobam: someone you can go the extra mile for.
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A Portrait of Me in My Room…Every Friday Night
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Wow this The Bible TV show is deep! We often read the Bible and forget that the characters were simple humans just like us; with the same feelings, fears and frustrations. I’m humbled. I’m just watching the story of Moses. You do realise that Moses gave up everything to follow this *does air quotes* THING God had put in his heart… when he didn’t even know God?! Moses probably half the time wasn’t sure what he was doing. He didn’t grow up with this God but because he had a personal revelation, he was convinced and that gave him confidence in God. Think about it, the new pharaoh would have grown up with Moses, both palace royals, two brothers. They knew each other well. Yet Moses turned his back on everything he knew and sent punishments to hurt his own brothers, to kill his own nephews.
That would hurt.
@girlwithnojob and @female have THE funniest Instagram pages! How excellent that you don’t even have to be on Instagram to merrily stalk the funniest meme-owners, thank you Google!
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Your loving kindness is excellent.you keep me safe and warm and loved. Wherever I go you shine your favour and your grace.
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We talk about being organic in relationships; giving things time to blossom and grow naturally without the force or pressure that can cause a good and budding thing to bend or break.
Why don’t we extend the same courtesy to our relationship with ourselves?
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“Recalibrate: refocus. Listen.”
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At some point in the future, news of your betrayal will fit me comfortably like an old pair of broken-in shoes. For now it doesn’t; it punches my soul this way and that every time it comes to mind and leaves me gasping in short, shocked breaths of despair and disappointment.
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So, I draw….
I try my hand at different styles I find around, I’m currently in love with Debra Cartwright’s style, check her out on Instagram @debracartwright. I never think I get the copies exactly but it’s close enough for me. No joke, no one is more surprised than me when I’m done and a painting comes out nicely!
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I’ve only gone to get my nails done and listened to those mad women in the salons disguised as hair stylists. When the first one told me my eyebrows (my practically non-existent eyebrows) were bushy and due for a shaping I should have said what was laid heavily upon my heart, “Get behind me satan!”. But I was raised well, I politely declined. But the combined pressure from the stylists had me shrugging a why not. By the time the ‘Eyebrow Expert’ got halfway in plucking one eyebrow and commented, “Your eyebrows are too much!” I should have realised she was uttering the safe-word from God and stopped her immediately!
Suffice to say that I sit today at my desk practically free of eyebrows. I looked at myself in the mirror this morning (your forehead quadruples without eyebrows, did you know??!), when I saw the amount of space above my eyes I seriously considered hiring a real estate agent…might as well profit from my loss.
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I’m sorry, but errrrr when did Drake get so damn fit?! He went from looking like a negro vampire with a love for talcum powder to a tall chilled glass of pure milk chocolate. I’m here for it. Everyday… and twice on Sundays! *snap*
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Driving to work this fine Monday morning and I spot a young man packaged up in a fiery red suit! Ah ah! Where can he be going to this morning?? I’m soooooo curious to know. Which office can he be marching so purposefully towards? When there is no circus in Port Harcourt?! Ha!
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“I just got told that I am not vain. I thought to myself, “What on earth gave you such a weird idea?!” I LOVE to be surrounded by a profusion of beautiful but entirely useless objects! I think it’s the teaching kids that confuses people. *muttering* Not vain indeed! Scam!”
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Today I’m feeling my self like I lost my keys. Walking about like an extra with sample clothes on a D & G set. After debating with myself about going to work in gaudy gold jewelry, I pouted at mirror, whispered, “More is more, too much is not enough.” Then ruined the entire effect by laughing.
I need a TV show y’all.
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Worship at HOTR be like…..Jesus and I, home alone.
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I never understood, “Goodness is its own reward”. I always said it in consolation to myself when I got less than I thought I deserved. Until today.The outpouring of love and support for my family, especially my parents, for what we hoped would be a “…quiet funeral” humbled me. So many people went SO far out of their way for us!
Goodness IS its own reward. If you’re doing good, KEEP. AT. IT. You (always always) reap WHAT you sow…not WHERE you sow.
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…When your culture is sort of epic…. #Kalabari #NigerDelta #ButI’mAPrinceInAfricaTho!
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Not everyday adult on the playground, some days kid. Some days Beat Up the Bully Day. Some days forget logic and welcome ratchet. Some days carpe diem and shiiii. Some days don’t be a lady, be a beast.
And yes, I know I shouldn’t attend every argument I’m invited but can a girl at least throw an RSVP punch though??!
Damn.
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Does he share your values? Does he make you feel good about yourself?
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The nature of promises is that they stay immune to changing circumstances.
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My God and my savior, the one who redeemed me when then devil thought he had my soul, my mind and my body, my Lord and my king I am yours. All that I am is yours. Lord God I commit my heart and my mind, my worries and my fears, my future and my hope, my heart desires and my will. Bend them to yours.
Give me a heart that is bold like yours oh God. Help me to see me as you see me. Help me to love me like you do. Help me to love others like you do. Teach me your way. Show me your will.
I surrender to your will in every area of my life.
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Honour your father and mother.
The only commandment with a promise…or an incentive….or a bribe?
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Amazing how God answers prayers even the ones you whisper up and are certain got lost in the wind
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That time at the Tate with Andy Warhol and Roy Lichtenstein #EpicSummer #ArtLover #MuseumWanderer
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Do I want to talk about it? Not really
We chose to give pieces of ourselves that were priceless
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Home girl hook up!
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I’ve been asked to accompany a young man to a wedding, should I expect my ring post haste? Is my Nigerian girl showing?
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I’m in Abuja for work, I’m lodged at the Hilton…and quite sure that we have judged ‘runz girls’ a little too harshly. Sure it’s not the ideal thing to prostitute yourself with old politicians and new moneyed Nigerians BUT, after having the best Carbonara and chicken wings I’ve had in ages, I can’t blame those girls for enjoying the moneyed life! A girl can get used to this! #JustSaying
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I really can’t imagine what people think when they see my tiny car speeding down the highway. I reckon they think because the car’s so small, if it hit them they’d survive with nothing more than a headache. Why else do they shoot across the road so carelessly?!
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After seeing #ByeFelicia all over the black blog world, I looked up the phrase on the Urban Dictionary. Suffice to say that I am officiallY over African American slang. Done. Dead. Gone to the ancestors.
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LOOOOL! I’m the last in the whole wide world but I just watched Miley Cyrus’ ‘Wrecking Ball’ video…right after watching Tiwa Savage’s ‘Wanted’ video and uhhhhhmmm, I mean….errr… *sigh* girl, I guess! LOL! Like WTH, when did it become so difficult to be sexy?! Beyonce just blinks and she’s sexy, but one naked gyration on a chain and an ill-fitting body suit later and these two women cannot catch sexy if it strolled past them?!
Girl, I guess!
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Wendy: “When is Jesus coming back?
Siri: “Checking your events…”
Siri 1- Wendy 0
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That birthday moment when you realise how very loved you are…
…and almost none of these cake-senders live in my city! #Grateful
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#SisterSister
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Some choices in life are pretty difficult…I’ve set my tv reminder to two shows that clash as they’re on at the same time and I am now left with the heartbreaking decision; Amanpour or the Looney Tunes Show?
*Sigh*
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Has anyone else noticed that Daffy Duck on TV now has a much more muscular chest than the Daffy we grew up watching?
Creepy.
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Oh! Only Beyonce will have me miming to Irreplacable at 1am, screeching “…to the left!!!” to my reflection, informing an imaginary adversary that he needs to ask the mean streets about me. Looool!
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One essential sign of development in the UN Development Index MUST be the lack of farm animals roaming around the streets, surely! Just makes those “Why did the chicken cross the road” jokes redundant! In Nigeria, any of the given reasons could be plausible AND probable! It’s crazy that even in nice neighbourhoods, there will always be found at least one solitary chicken pecking its way across the road. Or some goat totally oblivious to its own mortality sprawled across the road like a monochrome traffic light.
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Babies are so adorable. It’s cute how they try to taste everything that comes near them, as though the world they see is so beautiful that they simply MUST taste to confirm that it is indeed as wonderful as it all looks.
Fanciful I know.
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FADED DENIM LIKE WE SWEAT BLEACH!! H.O.L.I.D.A.Y!!!
I am going home for the holidays in four days and I am so amped! All I want to do is chill…life keeps getting in the way. Annoyingly.
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The Carters, Halloween 2015.
#FamilyGoals #SquadGoals #ComingtoAmerica
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I’ve been ill and as a result, have had a lot of time to sit and do nothing but reflect on my life. Thankfully, the village people in my head keep me entertained and allow me enjoy my own company lots. Now, let me say that there is no experience more humbling than sickness. You speak to your body and it replies with a, “Girl please!” That thing will humble the hell out of you I promise. For a fiercely, sometimes stupidly independent woman, illness irritates me; all of a sudden I am almost desperately reliant on others. Moral of the story is to stay as healthy as possible. I have to say though, there is nothing like illness to really make you grateful; grateful for good health, for good friends, for a good family. Huge shout out to everyone that was so great in holding me up with kind words, thoughts, actions and prayers. A games night is the only way I can think to repay so expect a Paperless Post invitation shortly.
Yes, I go all out for celebrations. (Well as all out as I can go without leaving my desk).
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This morning, I saw a cockroach trying to cross the busy expressway Ozumba Mbadiwe. Suffice to say, it was a failed attempt. Is this natural?! I sense the diabolical! Lol. Or could it truly be that this creature has no sense of its own mortality?! Humans can barely make it from one side to the other without tumultuous effort, and a cockroach dares attempt the feat?!
How brave.
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Running late for prayer meeting at 6am at the Oriental hotel last Thursday, led me to reach the tollgate…and find that I’d forgotten my wallet at home. Honestly, this is high up on my nightmare list, right next to “…03. death by drowning”. A comprehensive sweep of my car resulted in the grand total of a poverty-embellished N50 community; comprised of a tattered twenty Naira, two trash-worthy ten Nairas and two flagellated five Naira notes. Kai, I was scarred. I didn’t even know how to begin to present my failed petition to the cashier at the tollgate. When I presented my case, his failure to sympathise had my hackles rising. Imagine the audacity of a negro; the man insisted actually suggested that I double back and take the alternative route 30 minutes behind, when I could see my destination 2 minutes away from the tollgate?! As we negotiated, a Danfo bus drove up behind me. As is the way of these touts that drive those public buses, I expected him to come and threaten me to pay up or backtrack. He swaggered to the car, toothpick in mouth, dirty jeans sagged low, and uttered a rasping shout to the tollgate conductor, demanding the reason for the delay. I was about to use the remaining anger left over from dealing with the toll gate conductor, to eat the Danfo driver. So ready was i to be challenged when he roughly demanded, “How much she dey owe?!”
“N120”.
I watched surprised, as he pulled out neat notes and paid for my tollgate pass. Pushing my humbled thanks aside with a gravelly, “Go jor!” he strolled to his heaving bus of curious passengers. Out of his little, he gave me so much; he schooled me on the topic of pure, human goodness. I was humbled. You must understand, I HATE Danfo drivers! Bane of my existence bar none. His actions humbled me, his casual deflection of my thanks and his expectation of nothing in return.
If that is not the 21st century, Nigerian version of the Good Samaritan story, I don’t know what is.
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Saw this headline on the CNN site this morning, “Is America a failed state?” and I had to laugh. If America is a failed state, Nigeria is a …..
JAMB question.
*hiss*
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I keep watching and rewatching Season 6 of The Game and I have to finally admit ….it’s SOLELY because of Jay Ellis. *Hangs head*. He is just so hot. How can you not love him; tall, beard, clever AND goofy?!
Woooooooo chile!!!!! *Fans self*
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A very funny thing about my tears; I hardly ever cry when I’m hurt…and then I get angry and like a little weakling the tears come. Absolutely annoying because the person that has made me mad is now sure they’ve hurt me. Schew. I’m like no negro, I’m mad not hurt. Fool.
Yes, I cried today.
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I’m actually fascinated by how little it takes to lift my mood. Its so funny that doing my nails or my hair has the power to make me feel 100 times more feminine…Lol. How absolutely ridiculous it is, when you think about it. I wonder, is this a conditioning similar to the way we have been conditioned to think that pink is a feminine colour and blue masculine? Or the way we’re conditioned (perhaps) to think that little girls ought to play with dolls? Does it indicate a shallowness of character that my mood can be linked to my nails? Am I perhaps over-analysing this simple joy of life??!?! Perhaps a tad. Lol.
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What are these potholes in Lagos for gossek?!? What is this, an obstacle course?! What sort of altitude-altering potholes are these in this Lagos?!
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Sometimes, Nigerians won’t even cross the line. I think what happens is, they see the line. Tell you that they have observed said line. Then, find a long stick and pole vault over your line right into the centre of what you can’t believe they dared to do. They walk back, clean your line, walk back to their pole vault position, draw a new line, walk across it, turn around and casually ask you;
“What?”
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This office wont kill me! One guy has bounced in feeling so fly with his smart work shirt and some beige pants, looking so fresh and very clean. Response from colleague on seeing him: “Kayode, you’re a solid guy!But…the original of these your clothes go cost sha!”
L.O.L!
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Periods are the ultimate evidence that human condition can adapt to anything. Mens agitat molem, mind over matter. Truly that phrase “how can you trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn’t die?” is true. Lol. It’s crazy to think that women bleed consistently, for a few days every month and its not even a big deal. The day a man goes to pee and pees blood, is the day he will understand the gravity of menstrual periods. Add the fact that we have to fake feeling fine, sitting at our work desks smiling while it feels like the Bolshevik revolution is happening in your uterine walls?! And they say women are not strong? HA! Wetin remain na to catch grenade with mouth, schew!
Life is so weird. Sometimes the people you are certain will always remain in your life, are those that will leave without a goodbye…and somehow, you’ll be ok with it. Life is funny. Memories sometimes, must be sufficient.
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Waiting has to be the single most difficult thing in the world to do.
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Just came across this oldie but goodie with some of the homies from my time at Berkeley, always makes me smile.
#SquadGoals
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The news on Naija fm 102.7 has to be the funniest thing ever. The presenters are so irreverent and so down to earth. There are three of them and they are a classic representation of the average young Nigerian sitting at home and shouting at the T.V. Too funny.
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A: How are you?
B: I am gentle
LOL! I am physically and mentally unable to deal with Nigerian slangs! LOOOOOL! How can this be a response by a normal, grown man?!
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“You can be the juiciest peach in the world and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”
-Dita von Teese
Lol, ain’t that the truth! As soon as you really understand this, you will begin to appreciate that “…it’s not you, it’s me” phrase.
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‘Equity’s Darling’ is such a cute legal phrase.
Can you name a child Equity? Hmmm. I wonder why everyone says Rhythm isn’t a good name for a boy. I like it. He already sounds cool. Lol.
He might get teased though.
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I can’t get over my ridiculousness sometimes. The fact that I stop mid working out and just watch my work-out video like a movie is too ridiculous! I’m there laughing at the funny faces the people excercising, on the tape, are pulling; mocking those who fall mid-excercise (while I sit there not doing a damn thing by the way!) and talking to the screen like it’s an episode of Maury I’m watching! Lol. Thankfully Sean T’s abs and his “DIG. DEEPER!!” chants prompt me from lazy mockery to excercise. Most times.
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Rainbow 94.1FM is THE pick-me-up station though! My Monday morning drive to work is bearable because of their Chivita Active show. They ask generic questions that people call in to answer within 5 seconds. Now, I’m not sure if Nigerians are reacting to the pressure or if our educational system is engaged in the abiding mass pulverization of brain cells annually, BUT I’m going to need to know why a citizen of this great land answered “What is the largest animal in the world?” with the following…
“A zebra.”
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“How do you solve a problem like Maria?!” is a rhetorical question. “Are you mad?!” is not. Nigerians, take note. If you ask me the latter, please believe you will receive a thesis on mental illness and YOUR potential symptoms.
#JustSaying
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Nigerian news can be so annoying. How these are the top three headlines in this national newspaper I will never know:
1. “Underage Rape: Who is to Blame?
2. “FIFA cautions Nigeria for expelling lesbians from national team.”
3. “House of Representative Clamours for Immunity for Senators.”(The cheek to even consider this!)
We are in hell.
God, please.
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“Sweating like a pig, feeling like a fox.”
I LOVE this ad! I watch it whenever I want some inspiration.
#ThisGirlCan
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I’ve said it before and I will say it again…and again…and again…and oh you get my drift, but whatever you need to do to get good friends, do it. Beg, steal, my dears, kill for good friends.
Lol.
I absolutely love the Coca-Cola campaign with the personalised names on the bottles. It’s so fun to go into a store and bump into your name on a shelf, especially if your name isn’t Stacey or John. I’m impressed by the number of Nigerian names they’ve got on display and the Nigerian slangs are so apt and funny; they have “Share a Coke with Akpos/Corper/Wifey/Chief/Chairman/Bros/Egbon” Lol. Really cool. So everytime I went into Spar and saw the Gifts, Oyinyes, Efes and Enos neatly arranged, I really felt like telling Coca-Cola a big well done. I thought, I need to tell someone at Coke that they’re doing a great job! And then it hit me, of course I do have a friend there! My friend Jumi works at Coke…in Marketing for that matter! And so I sent her a message congratulating her so seriously you’d have thought she single handedly came up with the whole concept of personalised Coca-Cola bottles!
Whatever! It worked out because a little bit later, guess what Jumi had made for me?? My very own Coke can with my name on it. Lol, yes, she spelt my name wrong BUT as she said, “Oprah’s name was spelt wrong at birth…look how that turned out!” Ha!
I LOVE IT SO TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY!!!!!!!!! *Insert pulsing heart here*
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I try not to open my work emails at the weekend….I operate a “See No Evil” policy at home.
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I suspect my boss is having an affair with my weekends.
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Is procrastination a variant of the sin, sloth? In essence, is procrastination one of the seven deadly sins? *gulp*
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The devil is funny, he plays a lot of mind games with us and if we’re not careful we will do ourselves harm thinking we’re doing good. The road to hell is paved with good intentions etc. I thought about this mid self-berating. I have a tendency to be painfully hard on myself. I am learning now that there is a difference between positive self-criticsm and pure masochism, of the most unenjoyable kind! I am incredibly ‘self-reflective’ and have a tendency to internalise and over-analyse situations. Something happened today and my immediate reaction was intensely negative towards myself. I was telling myself “You see! This is why you’re a mean person, you’re so petty etc…” but in the middle of that I also heard this “That’s ok…because you’re human. Fall, get over it, rise. Keep moving, don’t dwell on your weaknesses, don’t focus on your failures. You are human. You don’t have to be perfect”
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This bank is so incompetent!! UGH! It might as well be four sheep and a mature billy goat manning those computers
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Nigerian men and the “…all nigerian women want is my money…” story line is dated. You don’t have a monopoly on good jobs, hard work or money. Stop it.
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Death by Solange. No, that’s not the name of her signature fragrance. Solange has officially killed me. I cannot deal with how cute this is; she arrived at her wedding via white bicycle. I’m dead, too damn cute. Vive Mrs. Ferguson!
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Rihanna. Just casually slaying across continents.
Effort 0. Effect 100.
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I’m trying to thin my camera roll, I have so many memes and photos from Instagram saved on my phone. As this blog is a mini-library for me, expect to see the escapees from my camera roll here.
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Is living below your calling or purpose a secular sin?
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The trust i confidently place in Google makes me vaguely uncomfortable.
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I need Jesus to widow of Zarephath my fuel in this season.
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God, please give me a job i’m genetically capable of, passionate about and well paid for (Love is not a recognisable currency here). Selah.
(Update: HE ANSWERED!!!!!!!!! I even forgot I wrote this!)
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SO, Zara is trying to kill me this summer! I won’t have it! Did I do a bad thing by signing up to their newsletter?! The AW14 season they just announced with a bold, unrelenting, unrighteously tintillating photo in my inbox is giving me serious wallet-ache! Ladies and gentlemen, the little black dress has gone nuclear. “Savings, [*Wendy William voice*] how you doing??”
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I think Eku Edewor is so stylish, the girl never seems to have an off day!
This transparent trench coat has to be my fave thing in her closet though. I need to get my hands on one of these, especially as I live in the rainiest part of Nigeria!
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Why Forever 21 clothes look so rumpled on the shop floor I will never know. Do they ship them from China in bottles?
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Pastor Mo is preaching only to me again. I’m going to have to leave this church if God keeps talking to only me week after week…it’s unfair to the rest. 🙂
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Rihanna’s style though?! I can’t even deal! So effortlessly fly, all the damn time. They don’t teach this in school! #BornNotBred
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‘Don’t Wanna Dance’
Elle Varner Feat ASAP Ferg
With lyrics like,
“Cause I’ve been here too much, too long
I don’t really wanna dance and I hate most of these songs
Plus my feet are killing me
I don’t really wanna dance, shoulda stayed my ass at home”
How relatable is this song?! I love to dance but I will not lie, I can think of so many nights out that I’m sitting on a couch in a club I probably didn’t want to go to in the first place, muttering to myself, “Why didn’t you stay yo ole ass home, granny?!”
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The seriousness on the last runner’s face in a race? Tragic comedy.
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SO many red flags, it was a blood bath. *sigh*
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So many times at work I wonder at Nigerian lawyers and their love for seniority. I really hope you remember you’re the senior when it is time to die.
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“The best way to describe it is incestuous…I love her like she is my blood. But, with the intensity of lust, infatuation and romance.”-VSB
One of my best best best friends in the whole world got married last weekend and I am still on a high! All my love to Anne and Eniola, as they start this amazing journey. May your joy and love be renewed daily. The best if yet to come! #GodmotherToFirstChildHurr
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It occurred to me recently, how many ideas I had let live in my head for so long…that were never mine. Other people’s beliefs and opinions I had let take control of the course of my thinking. Never again.
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Who are these people still letting Love and Hip Hop, Basketball Wives, etc film shows at their establishments?! PLASTIC CUPS WON’T SOLVE THE PROBLEM THOUGH!
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Nigerian politicians are so delusional. They think we’re characters in 1984. Government spokesman on the radio boasting of this government’s achievements and including “GOOD RAILWAY SYSTEM”. Sure, if you’re a goat or sack of rice.
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The Law of Travelling:
1. Go with someone who gets It.
2. Reread Number One.
Ant and I, All Over Accra, making friends with random people on the street. Once people see a camera, they morph into Naomi Campbell! Comedy.
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Thank you God for friends that see you for who you’d like to be.
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About Last Weekend.
Jamestown, Accra, Ghana.
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But what is up with Olivia Pope and these Next suits combined with M&S jewelry?! Now that White House bounce makes even less sense.
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Cook is away on his day off. I am here eating glucose like a failed athlete.
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Elie Saab. *Gulp*
Do you know, when I wear my first Elie Saab gown I’m just going to sing not talk. Yup. From the moment that zipper zips until its teeth are separated to reveal my Milo-coloured skin, I will be singing like a Disney princess auditioning for a sequel. Like, how do you wear such beautifully whimsical clothes and not feeling like a cross between goddess and fairytale princess? How?!
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Everytime I see this picture I’m convinced again that I shall not be having a wedding train. Just my three gorgeous sisters in outrageously dramatic, stunning gowns comparable to my (Elie Saab) wedding dress and I causing fabulous style-commotion at my wedding! 🙂
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“She sent him to the market to buy shrimps, he came back with crayfish.”
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PHCN needs to just stop playing hide and seek with my electricity today. *hiss*
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Haha!
Got this off this really cool site I stumbled on http://www.thisisnthappiness.com.
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Why do the Igbos say they’re going to “..the East” when they’re going to their villages? Are you one of the three biblical magi?! No? Ok, then state your city like regular folk. Thanks.
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Only in nigeria will you board a plane, seat comfortably…and then get bounced off like a child that did not pay school fees.
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Look what I found!!! Artist Jirka Väätäinen depicted the Disney princesses more realistically…errr how stunning is Jasmine? Pocahontas and Snow White currently a tie for second place in my mind. So stunning! See the lot here: http://cargocollective.com/jirka/REAL-LIFE-DISNEY-GIRLS
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I am always surprised by how easy Nigerians find it to dissociate from their surroundings. I couldn’t help thinking this as I walked up to my office today. My office is located on prime real estate in Lagos. Yet, despite the magnificent edifice that is my workplace itself, the drive up to the building is littered with what I can only refer to as an overgrown swamp land.
Yet we ignore it, in fact, we do not even see it! The weeds have moved from ‘rustic-rambling-overgrown country hedge’ chic to ‘Come on now!!” I saw weeds growing from inside the gutter! To be fair, I can’t blame my office really as a lot of the land we are surrounded by has been bought but is yet to be built upon. But I can’t help wondering how no one else seems to notice the mess surrounding the beauty. And you know a swamp comes with creatures and smells. The surrounding area is a veritable sump.
And my brain waxed lyrical in a continous stream of consciousness, I realise that this is the same mentality Nigerians have with everything. Stunning house in the middle of a Victoria island with a road only passable by lorry? Yes. Embezzling billions right in the centre of extreme poverty. Sure. Maltreating young housemaids right in the middle of your own beloved children of the same age? Oh let’s!
Nigeria, a nation of extreme juxtaposition.
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I watched the first episode of Shuga, the Biyi Bandele directed TV series sponsored by MTV Base Africa. It’s really relevant (HIV sensitivisation…some news outlets are predicting the return of the 1990’s AIDS epidemic, to be fair did it ever leave Africa though? God help us.). What I enjoyed most about the show wasn’t just the plot, which on its own is a shockingly real reflection of part of young Nigeria, it was the style in which the show was shot. I think it’s really well done and shows a fresh, very cool, true, young and rather dangerous Africa.
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Hahaha, I have THE best friends! I love my friend Christiana! I woke up to this tweet “Wendy is really an angel. She just masquerades as an attorney. But she’s actually an angel. Quote me.” Lol! On messaging this girl, she proceeds to explain to me why she does honestly believe I might be an angel. “I was reading up on angels and some of their traits really remind me of you. One is singlemindedness, God architected them in a way that they can and will only do what they’ve set out to accomplish. Reminded me of you and your drive…multiple post-degree qualifications etc”. LOL! Christiana is sort of amazing, if you think I’m lying see for yourself: christianaam.tumblr.com or follow the character @Chritsiana87 on Twitter. Lol.
What if I AM indeed an angel and I don’t know…hmm…Dear Heavenly Father, you might have some explaining to do 🙂
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This is so cute, it’s almost offensive in its cuteness! In my room as a child, we had these two pictures that look eerily similar to this (without the bride in the background). I don’t know what this art style is called, but I like it, weirdly it reminds me of Norman Rockwell paintings. Anita probably doesn’t remember these pictures at all but I remember the girls in our pictures did have names; Wendelyn and Anita. Not sure if my mummy went out to look for pictures with her kids’ names on them…to be honest, this is sounding more and more like a made up memory. Am I remembering this or did I create this?! Lol. Ah well.
I do remember the paintings in our room though…did we name them or did they have names already??
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Today, I rented a house. *Does weird dance in work-bathroom stall* Eeeeeek! I am a certified adult. God honestly keeps making Psalm 4:18 a reality in my life even though I’ve done nothing to deserve it. I am just grateful that for me, I promise you it’s honestly Always Better Tomorrows; every day is better than the one before.
Thank. You. God. Thank You. *Returns to doing weird praise dance in bathroom before anyone knocks and kills the moment*.
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It’s so hard to believe the Illuminati stories when Beyonce looks like this. Seriously, this woman gives all mums who blame excessive weight gain on childbearing, a run for their money. I mean, why does Beyonce look like this?! I’m not even a Beyonce stan (although the fact I feel compelled to issue a disclaimer strongly suggests that I probably am, to be honest *sigh*), but she is one of a very tiny handful of celebs who seem to have it all, isn’t she? Apparently decent husband, a child, good career etc. She just seems to have favour and grace, I think its only God that gives that sort of holistic joy. I once heard, “…na only satan dey give person biro want come collect car.” Things gotten from a bad source often go dry at a point or leave the user lacking in one area, but Beyonce seems to have complete joy on every side. Is it really possible that this isn’t God though? Why? I don’t really get the Illuminati thing; we’ve seen her work her way from the age of 9, it does seem logical that putting in substantial effort consistently must result in commensurate success, no?
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“We got Poped sir!”
Jake, Jake, Jake!! Olivia Pope’s potential significant other in Scandal season 3, is pure premium vanilla. 🙌. LAWD. How Olivia can pick spineless Fitz over Jake will forever and ever be beyond me. For. Ever. !
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There is a purpose to this season. A time where I feel bereft, scraped back, layers of protection in the form of friendships scaled back to allow me glimpse my truest self and see God truly and honestly. To depend on God fully or not
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These pictures of Ethiopia’s Mursi tribe, by British photographer jim Nelson, are stunning. So absolutely beautiful that despite his thoughtless comment on Africa losing its authenticity (as though we ought to remain caveman hunting in the digital age), I still like him…just for sharing these beautiful photos with the world.
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This is an excellent app! I’m refreshing my French skills, after Natasha and I tried to hold a Whatsapp message in French, it was really fun. I forgot how much I enjoy speaking something else…I’ve said it, my maids are going to be Togolese and Mozambican so my kids are trilingual before they’re 5!
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That awkward moment when your foundation rubs off on the documents you’re filing in court. So many questions raised.
For one thing, I can hear the court clerk thinking “Is she unserious or does she just look unserious?!”
Two, “…THE HELL?!”
MyLife:)
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I want to capture this moment.
It is the first time I am reading a confessional statement from an alleged criminal. 20 year old Mr. X, after a long ‘confession’ that makes little sense, allegedly admits: “I now agree that I am a pure armed robber”. Reading through the many inconsistent statements of police and confused ‘witnesses’, I can only come to the conclusion that Mr. X has suffered incredibly to come to the conclusion that he is “a pure armed robber”. I just hope the police did not do lasting physical damage to him in custody, in an attempt to elicit this voluntary confession.
My heart honestly breaks for a nation that is so destructive to her own children. We bruise, batter, destroy our youth. The accused person has been in prison since 2005 and is yet to come before the court. His matter is only seeing the light of day because we selected him at random, to represent pro bono. Little boys with big dreams are being crushed by an oppressive and perverse judicial system daily.
If this accused person is guilty, if he is not, it matters little. 8 years for stealing a Nokia phone worth N45000. In a society like ours, where people are drawn to crime largely due to poverty, the true purpose of punishment should be rehabilitation and redemption.
Actually, the only truth I can find in his poorly drafted ‘confession’ is “Yesterday, one boy called Maiko meet me and said that we should go and look for money…since we are broken.”
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Speaking of Messrs Dolce & Gabbana,FW 2014 Mosaic collection is tempting me to run to India and offer my kidney for sale….too beautiful. (Click on photo for full effect. Thank me later, guapas.xx)
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Ouch! I love this old D&G campaign!
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The choir I used to sing in England released this cd earlier in the year. My sisters were home for the Summer and just brought a copy. IT IS PHENOMENAL! I am so sooooo proud of my team. The worship is so pure and real, I love it! Everyone needs a copy. I remember singing number 8 for offertory at church back in the day when the choir was still growing; trying to get harmonies, me singing merrily off key etc. Lol. The choir has truly morphed and its all because of God. Massive congrats Insignia, I love you guys!!
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I shouldn’t have done this deep conditioning treatment and come to work today…honey, shea butter and this homemade funky-stink-me-up-conditioner mix is not the one!…Is it bad to ex midweek service at church today cos my hair smells funny…hmmm…..
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I’ve never really understood why people say “YOLO” as a prelude to undertaking a stupid action. Surely, if you only live once, you want to make sure your life lasts as long as possible and your happiness is stretched to fit the number of your days. Not random bouts of happiness followed by long periods of regret.
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CRIMINAL MINDS
Addicted.com…to the nth power.
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The http://www.thesatorialist.com
I love her style, so incredibly cool.
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I really think the Little Red Dress is what the Little black Dress wants to be when it grows up. Instant sex appeal and it works on every skin tone, what’s not to love??
http://www.thesatorialist.com 🙂
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My mum is actually THE best. She rang me so concerned, she’s been asked to chair yet another committee in church and doesn’t understand why they keep giving her leadership positions when she keeps begging off. In the same breath, she told me how she was sitting in church when they announced a pilgrimage to Jerusalem and Rome,and she immediately started thinking of women in church who work so hard for God daily and have never had the opportunity to travel outside of Nigeria. She decided to treat a few and began (super randomly!), a quiet fund raiser amongst the other women, to sponsor these ladies.
Then she wonders why she is always sought for leadership roles.
I told her, it is because her spirit of excellence never lets her do things in half measures. Try to NOT give your best, mummy! Lol.
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My friend, Meens, gave me one of the best compliments I have ever received. EVER! She said, “Wendy, you champion people.”:) 🙂 How super awesome is that to hear?!
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The weekend is just a rumour. When did it happen?!
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Linda Ikeji’s blog is a problem and a half. I have almost died from laughter this evening. Innocent man has stupidly sought the advice of commenters on lindaikeji.blogspot.com, to help him stop cheating on his wife.
Nigerians are just a problem. These ‘answers’ are just birthed from the depth of idiot-hell. Lol! Too funny!
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Interestingly, people that call me picky don’t understand one fundamental thing. I’m not waiting for a perfect man, I’m not ignoring the good man…I’m expecting the right man. The ‘good’ man is not always the right man and the best man is not the same as the right man. Sometimes, the right man is the ‘bad’ man…but our flaws just seem to align in a way that ‘We’ makes sense.
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It’s BeySeason! I LOVE THIS SONG!!
Check it out on http://www.necolebitchie.com as well:http://necolebitchie.com/2013/05/20/new-music-beyonce-grown-woman/#more-240753
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Utterly gratuitous photo of these ballers on the beach but HEEEYYYYY NOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!! Dwayne Wade though, I almost feel bad for considering Gabrielle Union a homewrecker…she was clearly fighting a losing battle!
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Not in agreement with all the lyrics of this song oh! *side-eyes Janelle*, yes my God will accept you in your black and white, the question is will you come as you are with an open heart, girl?!
But I love the sound of this song! The rap at the end by Janelle?? I think the ONLY word to describe it is this one: DOPE.
And Erykah?! Her sound is just crazy…and I don’t care, her body is ridayyyyculous!
“The bootttyyyy dooonn’t lieeeee!”
-Erykah Badu
“They say, “Oh let them eat cake”. But we eat wings and throw the bones to the ground!!!!”
-Janelle
Lol. Ok Rebelle, tell ’em why you mad!
“Am I a freak for getting down?!”
This song is my earworm right now.
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Ladies and gentlemen, if you require proof that life is unfair, Ciara’s ‘Body Party’ is it. I’m neither a Beyonce nor Ciara fan but I bet that if B had done half of what C did in this video, she would have been splashed on every screen and praised in all magazines. Ciara did it and what do we hear in response *crickets*. Ciara can dance! I love the Aaliyah style vibe of the party initially. I think her chemistry with Future is so cute and I am happy for her, they both look so nice together! And don’t even get me started on those stripper moves she pulled in the bedroom…*goes home to practice*…for my Future. (Pun intended).
Ahem.
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Every time i see this picture of Solange, I understand anew what my friends who have seen her live say about her; “…absolutely stunning in person.”
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THIS*!!! So apt! Hahaha!
*I had to steal it off of Fabi’s Instagram.
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I am currently reading Chimamanda Adichie’s ‘Americanah’, and this picture perfectly how I feel. I often have to pause in my reading and mutter, “…that’s so true!”. Chimamanda manages to detail the subtle nuances in Nigerian society, on her pages. Thoroughly enjoying Americanah.
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The sun angel at it once again! Whoop! I love Solange’s pose. Please expect to see my husband and I in similar entanglement on one of our wedding souvenir photos or something! Haha! Although this man that she’s posed with though….-_-
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LOOOOL! Story of my life. I am the little girl honestly wondering why on earth everyone else is standing up straight and being generally well-behaved. Rebel without a cause? Perhaps! Lol.
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LOL! This is me!
I have to get better at Math! I heard this theory that any subject you don’t do well in, is a result of having a bad teacher when you first started learning it. Interestingly, I remember the first time I realised I wasn’t so great at Math. I must have been about 7 and I got a 76% or something, in comparison to my other grades, this was a substantially low grade and I remember being so self aware, even at that age, to recognise that Math took more effort from me than my other subjects. I was still at that age where I managed to do well with the littlest of effort. Oh to return to my primary school days!
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HAHAHA! Preaaaachhh!! *beats tambourine & waves white handkerchief* This is so true.
In the wise words of Robert Frost, “I have learnt the most important thing about the world, “It. Goes. On”.”
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iLOVE!!!
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The word for the day after tomorrow is overmorrow, not “next tomorrow”.
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Always repay evil with God. Always repay evil with good.
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Mrs. O’Beezy!!! Flyer than your average mosquito!! The flyest FLOTUS in the world, Michelle ‘My Belle’ Obama. Next to my mum, this might be the second greatest woman alive.
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The other day I heard of a guy who does ONLY what he wants to do. Literally. Like, he never sort of agrees to anything or just does things because it’s expected of him or because he feels bad. The fact that a lack of empathy is a key feature of psychopathy aside, I sort of admire that forthrightness. I think I’m going to incorporate a bit of that into my life. With a slight modification; I’ll try harder to do the things I truly want to do. Everything else that wastes my heart or doesn’t add to my life, I wont do. So if something doesn’t take away from my joy or peace of mind and is not negative, I still wont do it. It has to add some value or benefit. I don’t want middles, I want absolutes.
Positive absolutes.
*Snip, snip*
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SO incredibly beautiful.
I can see my mother and mother-in-law spontaneously combusting in panic, when I decide to wear this Zahavit Tshuba dress for my wedding! *shrugs delicately*
See more of this stunning collection at aisleperfect.com.
http://www.aisleperfect.com/2013/02/zahavit-tshuba.html#more
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Its so funny, so I only started singing on stage with the choir a few weeks ago although I joined about 2 months ago, in that time a few people have come up to me with variants of, “Wendy its so weird, your face seems to just glow when you’re singing on stage!” All I can think is, “I hope these people realise I have oily skin…all the stage lights reflecting on my face might be the answer. “Lol. I am not really good at receiving compliments. Goz says a simple thank you and smile will do every time. Lol. I am trying, at least I didn’t tell any of these people that I am hoping my Clinique therapy sorts the glow out.
Baby steps.
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Some lawyers are just born to be ridiculous. How is this okay to write in a written address:
“As a result, we have the following bones to pick with the Defendant:
BONE 1:
It is our contention that…
BONE 2:
On a thorough analysis of the facts….”
“Bones to pick with the Defendant” is bad enough, as this is not a bar brawl. BUT ‘Bone 1’ and ‘Bone 2’?!?!?! Are you a lawyer or just a part-time clown?
Bones?! Where they do that at?!
*Cries real thug tears*
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THE. Sweetest. Thing.
Ever.
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It is 3:21am and I cannot sleep. So, like any normal human being, I am found on instagram liking @Disneysmemories’ photos. Great.
In my midnight contemplations, I had my “Eureka!” moment. I realise, finally, the answer to one urgent indeed, fundamental question.
The prettiest Disney princesses are Jasmine and Esmerelda. Yes, really. I think I like the name Esmerelda…”Esme”, sounds exotic. I’m not sure. Does the fact that my princesses of choice are darker skinned symbolise something? Hmm…I have to say though, Disney really made an effort. There are American, Japanese, Greek princesses. Granted, there are more white princesses than all minorities combined but baby steps…besides, does everything boil down to race? A princess is a princess! *adjusts invisible crown*.
PS: The Disney princes though?!? PHWOAR! ALL bar none, HOTT!…Aladdin deserves special mention though. Not that I fall in love with cartoons or anything. -_-
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“Sooooooo, this guy’s legal team is going to lose this matter. I can tell. For one thing, why does he look like a pastoral reject? This light-reflecting suit is playing tricks on my eyes and wreaking havoc on my emotions. #ICan’tDeal. Sir, you cannot truly hope to convince us that you are worth your 1 billion Nigerian Naira claim when you dress like you model your life after Jodeci circa 1999. Please and thanks. And your senior lawyer is having a laugh at your expense, come on now! Look at what he’s wearing! The man is clashing like a cymbal! Who can take you two seriously?! Maroon suit and multicoloured shirt looking like a banshee in textile, in other words, screeching for attention. Add that assistant dressed like a remnant from the ghettos of Soweto in a past life and it’s a summarised F for effort. And that pretend touch screen Nokia? Hmmm, is it rechargable battery-operated or just one of those phones whose selling point is its torch light feature? Just asking.
Kai, I am SO hungry.”
I just found this note written on my phone from a day I attended a mediation meeting. I think it is clear that I wasn’t very impressed. Lol. There are two times I prefer to stay silent; when I am hungry and when I am tired. I MUST stay quiet because at those times of physical weakness, my self-regulating leash is lax…anything can happen yo! Lol.
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Hmm, I haven’t really been impressed by judges in my time practising but today Justice Augei of the Court of Appeal truly inspired me. She is actually excellent. Pretty, SHARP, elegant, funny, tough as barge steel yet somehow empathetic. Perhaps most importantly, she is the only person I’ve EVER seen who looks absurdly beautiful in her judges’ wig. Girl crush alert! Lol.
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I sincerely do not understand why Facebook sends me a weekly update page as if it’s a report on some investment I made.
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What is up with lawyers in this world today?! I have heard all sorts of names in this court room. Who knew a human being could be called Evergreen or Alloy? How are these ok as first names?
Then again, who am I to judge? If you like it, I love it I guess.
Striking photos of unity have emerged from the chaos in Egypt as Christian protesters stood together to protect Muslims as they prayed.
A group of Christians joined hands and faced out surrounding hundreds of Muslims protesters left vulnerable as they knelt in prayer.
The photos were taken in Cairo by Nevin Zaki.She shared the images over Twitter, writing, ‘Bear in mind that this pic was taken a month after z Alexandria bombing where many Christians died in vain. Yet we all stood by each other.”Some Muslims have been guarding Coptic churches while Christians pray, and on Friday, Christians were guarding the mosques while Muslims prayed.’
AMAZING! God will cut across religions to establish relationships. In the end, that is ALL it is about.
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The era of the pointy-toe is once again upon us and I am loving it…unfortunately, I am not living it. I NEED some EXCELLENT pointy-toes in my closet!! They go with everything and just automatically make all outfits more sophisticated and chic.
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Dolce and Gabbana return to making men and women the world over, actively consider mortgaging their homes to buy clothes. D&G Winter collection, flawless. God, make me rich…so that I may buy these clothes and use my style to glorify You. Of course. *ahem*.
Until then though…*marches to Ikoyi tailor’s shop with material and sketches*.
See more here: http://www.dolcegabbana.com/dg/fashion-show/woman/runway/
[Thanks Ant, another lover of beautiful things!]
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I am amazed by the reaction people have to natural hair. I have had cause to inform several people in the course of the day that this is the hair I was born with! Why “GO AND DISVIRGIN THIS HAIR!” is the first thing you’ll say upon seeing my hair, is beyond me. Lol. How can you be so uncomfortable seeing black women with their actual kinky hair? Too many people have inquired on when I intend to go to the salon and do my hair. Uhm, it’s already done though. Lol. It’s just not in a weave, a wig or any extensions. Oh and it is happy nappy! It’s funny yet sad and ridiculous at the same time. They’re acting as if my natural hair is unsightly or crazy. Lol. Like I’m not even one for the natural hair is good/relaxed hair is bad debate, I don’t care. No one’s hair is a manifestation of who they are…it’s never that serious. My hair just seems to grow healthier when it is free of chemicals. The funny thing is, I straightened my afro two days ago. The moisture from a dense court room, with neither windows nor working air conditioners, combined with wearing that wretched legal wig for several hours in court, caused my hair to revert to its natural state. I didn’t think it would be a big deal to come to work with my afro. I guess I didn’t expect natural hair to be such a big deal at an office…in an African nation.
#BlackGirlProblems
#ThugCry
I’ll stop complaining, shiiiiiii they’ve given me a half day off from work to “…go and make your hair.”
Well hello Freedom!
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My friend’s wife, Kunbi, runs the Aisle Perfect site (aisleperfect.com) and it is EXCELLENT! I am not even a romantic but she makes me want to spend my days getting giggly and gooey eyed at weddings and love-inspired loveliness.It is such a beautiful blog, really well done.
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This song though! I love love love!
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There is nothing I miss more than shopping #ThirdWorldHustle…I miss Zara :(. *Returns to lusting after shoes online*
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In the words of Mr. Carter “Lights out!! Any questions??”
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Lol. I love this video. Too silly, too cool. I love how some white people dance like they’re listening to an invisible ipod. Lol.
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I like Dolce & Gabbana. They are my favourite designers for men AND women. Their tailoring is impeccable, the fit is incredible. I love how no matter how high fashion the garments are, everything is wearable. When I’m rich, I will be consistently clad in D&G garb, top-to-toe and roam around town looking like a Russian mobster’s wife. Yes, really. I love Dolce & Gabanna, they make clothes for the earthy, strong, fiesty and passionate women. The real(est) women.
HERE. COME. THE. GIRLS!
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UGH! American Apparel, must we die for you?!?!?! Saw these pumps and I fell in love one time! They are the perfect mix of vintage, quirky, cool. The perfect fit for your faded fayyy-ded skinny jeans and the boyfriend jumper (provided said boyfriend has Seth Cohen’s taste), for ankle grazing tailored pants and ‘what?!?my top is see through?? tops, for almost inappropriately tiny flared skirts, for faded denim shorts, soft cotton blouses and bed hair, for…
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I just got into this show. The Mindy project is L.O.L funny…seriously, the abbreviation actually applies here.
It’s interesting, there was a time no one would have imagined 2 women of colour leading highly rated shows. Today there’s Scandal and the Mindy Project amongst other up-and-coming. Kneegroes and Gentlefolk, “The Movement Will be Televised”. Clearly.
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Solange is threatening to become THAT NIGGA! in my life though! She looks like a woman that has come into her own and is LIVING life on her terms. Love it!
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Arghhhh more art inspiration! This one is from Garance Dore, I found her on aphrochic.blogspot.com. Going to try a hand at this style as well. I can do basic fashion sketches ok.
I think. Lol!
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Sometimes, I watch the Sound of Music….and I cry.
Yes, indeed I am ridiculous.
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O’Beezy!!
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The way I love aphrochic.blogspot.com??!?! Ugh! Everything on there is beautiful, I’m running from e-street to e-street on that site screaming, “I want my house to look like this one!…”Wait no, this one! I love it!!” and so on and so forth. I love interior design, I can roam round Ikea for ages and never get bored. Did you know they have neither clocks no windows in any Ikea, solely so that you lose track of time when you’re there? Great marketing strategy, lock your customers up until they buy something. Lol.
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I don’t know what it is about this song but lawwwwwd, do I love it! *hums and wiggles inappropriately on office furniture*
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Just because.
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I wish more people realised this. So true.
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McDowell’s album ‘Arise Live…’ album?! B.O.O.M! Killed me! Honest, pure worship. When he says that there is a point where you get to that you understand that your faith is not for you, it is for others, the point where you understand that God knows what you need…but you need to understand what He needs; world changers. That point where you begin to pray for more than just yourself. This album is just mature. I told my friend Goz today, I have found an album, it is worthy. It honestly is. I love how in his thank yous he says to God (iParaphrase) that You made me, just to worship You. I pray You find my worship, worthy”.I am understanding that worship is honestly more than what we do in church on Sundays, it is consistently extolling God by our daily lives. “If they are looking for You Jesus, let them find You in me”-William McDowell, Song of Intercession (this song is pure power, each lyric nuanced). Thank God for this album and this artist, William McDowell…B.O.O.M!!!!!
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Wendy: “Oh I never sleep-over here (at the office)
Femi (Colleague): You’re boasting.
Bwahahahahaha! This totally tickled me today, Femi was so serious about it.
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Why you probably should marry your best friend.
“Grow old with me, the best is yet to come…”-Robert Browning
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In 2013, I am going to get back into the things I love, like art. So help me God. I got this off a site linked from aphrochic.blogspot.com, and I love it because it is a simple yet creative style. Going to try my hand at it.
Oh Wendelyn! 