Yesterday was my birthday

And I woke up overwhelmed.

I couldn’t ask God for one thing.

33, living my very best life.

Still a reckless YOUT.

Restless but resilient,

Certain of myself, confident in my God.

Life has been hard. Life has been good.

Life has been streaks and peaks of highs.

But also, horrible, deep lows.

I’ve met sorrow.

Mined the crushing, drowning,

I-can’t-breathe depth of despair.

Ploughed layers and levels of fear.

That constant, implacable, weight

Of an invisible presence,

Settling heavily, stiflingly, on your chest.

Once, I woke up from a nightmare,

Thankful it was a dream.

The joy in that split second

Between wakefulness and sleep,

Overtaken with terror when I realized

My nightmare was my reality.

Pits.

They teach you empathy,

Give us the willingness to hold a hand,

To listen, to stand for and pray with.

They’ve shown me God.

God in people, Christ in circumstances.

Sorrow and fear, they can mold you.

Lol might kill you first,

But they’ll teach you, y’all.

They show you that everyone’s trying.

And that nothing is permanent.

They taught me.

Taught me that God, this God

Is certainly invested in me.

I read through this blog

And I see time after time, how God proves

His interest, His investment.

And I am awed, humbled.

To love and be loved, blessed and to bless.