So randomly, I was spring cleaning my mailbox and saw alerts from our wedding website, withjoy.com. And I thought “Is this a sign from the heavens that a vow renewal is imminent?” Lol. Not. Anyway, it prompted me to go to our wedding website and I had such a beautiful time looking strolling down memory lane. I cannot believe that at the end of this month, I’d have been married for two years, y’all! What an absolute ride. Do not let anyone lie to you, marriage is serious business.

It’s not that it is hard in itself, but to do it well, you need to be so deliberate and conscious (not to be confused with ‘self-conscious’)…and that determination to approach marriage in this way is what’s hard. If you’re reckless with your words, unobservant and negligent of your partner’s subtler needs, marriage can be very easy. Because that’s kind of how we generally tend to live. We say what’s on our mind, do what WE feel like doing and keep it moving when things get too difficult. But with marriage, where are you moving to? Lol. Seriously, in a marriage, thinking before you talk and acting with empathy, fairness and consideration of the other person, makes all the difference. I’m telling you, that thing isn’t very easy. I’ve said it before here, Obi’m always says there’s nothing nice about loving. The only good thing about deliberately dedicating your life to loving someone, he says, is that they are doing the same thing, making the same sacrifice…because they know you are worth it. Just like you know they are worth the cost to them.

My husband and I have had some tough, tough times. Two particularly crushing situations particular spring to mind. Just this morning I saw on the prayer list I wrote a while ago, a request for God to strengthen my marriage and I smiled because this our God man, He keeps His promises.

Anyway didn’t mean to get too deep today, I just wanted to share the How We Met and Q & A portion of the wedding website with you lot. Enjoy!

Tell ‘em how you met

We met because of the Port Harcourt Book Club. We sat next to each other at a small dinner organised by the book club after a book review we’d attended. We started talking at dinner…and just haven’t stopped since!

We were friends initially and invented this weird rule for our friendship, “No Eggshells, No Brackets.” (Meaning no walking on egg shells, or needing to justify things unduly which is what you use brackets for). It was our way of creating a safe space to just be ourselves with each other. We still do it now when one of us thinks the other is hiding something, we remind each other it’s still “No Eggshells, No Brackets!”

He Said/She Said

Q.Who made the first move? How?

CJ did!
Wendy: He text me after we sat next to each other at dinner. “12:40am: Hey Wendy, It was nice hanging with you today” …And I said to myself: “GOTCHA!” Lol. Not really. I said a polite, “You too!”
…And they lived happily ever after. 🙂

Q.What was your most memorable date?

Our first date! We went to the zoo…then lunch and drinks at night. Our date lasted the entire day and it honestly didn’t even feel long enough.

Q.What’s your favourite trait in each other?

Wendy: CJ CARES! He looks out for me as if I am at once his wife, sister, mother, new born baby, kitten joined together. Lol. He will sacrifice his needs for my wants, and that sort of love just inspires you to be better. Also, CJ has an incredibly good heart. I always prayed for a person who wouldn’t just be good to me but essentially, be a good person IN SPITE OF me. And CJ really is that. He’s just an amazing man to be honest!
CJ: Wendy is smart. Very very smart and I like that. I love that Wendy always sees the best in people. She really believes in people. It’s beautiful.

Q.What’s the best memory you have of each other?

Wendy: So many! One that stands out and just gave me such a conviction about Chijioke is from a rainy Sunday morning. We were headed to church and drove past a little girl carrying her baby sister, with no cover in the rain. We stopped to ask if they wanted a ride but the little girl refused. Before I knew what was happening, CJ had jumped out of the car, taken our umbrella from the back seat and asked me to drive behind him. He took the baby from her little sister’s arms, carried her and walked the little girl and her sister home under the umbrella. It always makes me smile to remember it.
CJ: I can’t pick one, we’ve had so many good memories. One that sticks with me is this one Sunday when we randomly decided to have a picnic in a public park, Isaac Boro Park. For Port Harcourt, that might seem like a crazy thing to do but I suggested it and Wendy was game. So, we took a mat, music, games and food, and just chilled in the park. It felt like for a few hours we were transported to somewhere far removed from reality. Just the two of us, with no worries or stress. Wendy and I just chilling, having undiluted fun, not caring about anything else. It was really nice.

Q.Any nicknames for each other?

Wendy: “LOCAL GOVERNMENT CHAIRMAN!!” It’s a name AND a title! Lol, I gave it to CJ from the start because he’s such an extrovert, I always tease him that he should harness his energy and just run for politics because he will definitely win the people’s vote. He just has this infectious energy that draws people to him.
CJ: I call Wendy ‘My Wahala Baby’…it’s self explanatory. Lol!

Q.One quote that describes your relationship

Wendy: “Life is rigged in your favour.” -Rumi.
CJ: “WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!!” -CJ

Photo Credit: Darling Magazine