I keep writing but never getting round to post. I was looking through my archives and found something I’d written a few days after Prince Harry’s wedding to Meghan Markle. Still seemed relevant, so figured I’d post…Funny thing though, one of my faves is CONVINCED Meghan is a scam artist and social climber sent by the spirit of Diana to punish the royals. Could be…Or could just be the bones of Meg’s melanin ancestors using her as the symbol of reparation for English colonialism. LOL.

Anyhoo…

A couple of weeks ago, the world watched in fascination as one of our royal faves, Prince Harry otherwise known for many years in the press as the Royal Rogue, got married to the love of his life in a beautiful, simple and elegant ceremony. Fam, Nigerians ate it up! From Nigerian mothers praying for the couple and covering television screens with anointing oil, to reduced traffic as men and women watched from the comfort of their homes, you would have been forgiven for believing St. George’s chapel was witnessing its first Yoruba engagement. Critics will say what is our business with the Crown when in 2018, there is still intermittent electricity in God’s Own Country,  but I say “Scrooge #LOVEISLOVE!”…and when it comes to loving, the entire world speaks the same language. I was beaming from my seat like a proud mama the entire time! You would never believe Meghan and I were not in the Girls Guide together. Lawl. As I watched though, a couple of things really stood out to me and I learnt some really valuable lessons from the entire love story. Yes, really.

1. “Whenever You Wake Up, That is Your Morning.”

This is my favourite Nigerian proverb. It is attrubted to the Igbos and it resonates deeply with me. Many people have labels put on them and over time it’s easy to begin to answer the names that others call you. So many are growing up being called lazy or slow or ugly, unintelligent. I have said it here before, in secondary school I was always tagged rude…when in actual fact although I could learn tact, I was just a 14 year old  girl who often stood up for myself and others. If we don’t have positive reinforcements to counter those labels sometimes we ourselves begin to believe these things. And worse in my opinion, we believe it’s too late to change.

Prince Harry for the longest time was written off and considered to be the royal with the least to offer. He seemed to always be in trouble, and it wasn’t until recently that he confessed that after his mother’s death, he almost suffered a mental breakdown for a period of time. Some of what we perceived as ‘acting out’, was just a young man being young and carefree…and in the public eye. But, look at Harry now! I mean when he came out of the car with his army uniform on that fine Saturday morning, bouncing to the chapel with William at his side, I was on my feet cheering like a groupie at a Pink Floyd concert. He has made the royal family not only proud but with this marriage they seem more relevant and modern. This taught me that it is important to never ever write anyone off because no one knows tomorrow. And just as important, never write yourself off. You can start again. You can choose your label. You can define who you are, yourself. There is always room to turn a bad situation around because whenever you wake up THAT is your morning. I like this scripture about getting back up following a fall because it shows that God understands that we can sometimes even give up on ourselves and fail. But, He tells us in Proverbs 24:16 “The righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up again but the wicked is brought down by calamity.” God likes to see us try again when the world wants to see us give up.

2. Second lesson. The ancient Indian text Hitopadesa says something I like. It says “A Stranger Who is Kind is a Kinsman and an Unkind Kinsman is a Stranger.” It’s funny that people often say blood is thicker than water to show that family comes before everything. What few people know is that the full saying is “The blood of the field is thicker than the water of the womb”. It was used by soldiers in ancient times to show that those who suffered the trials of battle, who faced the blood and sweat of anguish with you, are your family. If you’re lucky, these people are the family you’re born into but sometimes they’re not. And that’s ok. Loving from a distance is not a crime after all the Bible itself tells us guard your heart. Many people are in trouble today because they did not follow this advice.

Meghan Markle who married the prince, had to distance herself from some of her family not because she is a pretender or forgot where she came from, -after all we saw her mother come with her to the church-, but because her family has consistently attempted to take advantage of her fame and her money from the time she became a TV star. This is a 36 year old woman who only came to fame at about the age of 30, even though she had been searching for fame from the age of 18! Over a decade of hustling and no one claiming her… until she made it. Success truly has many friends. The duchess mentioned that her costars and friends had become her family because they were the ones who had shown true family values of love, support and kindness. As hard as it is to believe, toxic people related by blood or otherwise, are best loved from a distance

3. Finally, I admire the fact that Meghan Markle always carries herself with elegance and poise, very much a lady. In deed I was pleased to find that she had humble beginnings. This is instructive because it is clear the she did not define herself by her circumstances. That’s what many of us do daily. We often allow the circumstances we find ourselves in, to determine who we are instead of seeing ourselves, and carrying ourselves in the way we want to be. We allow other people, circumstances and things dictate who we should be. I watched an interview the couple did for the BBC, where the prince said they were set up on a blind date. He said he wan’t keen but as soon as he walked into the room and spoke to her he thought to himself, “I better pull myself together! Come correct, fam!” Not in those words but you get what I mean.

It made me think. The person you are can inspire others around you to be more or to give less. We have so much power to control our circumstances, but we often give it away because of the way we see ourselves. Don’t let your circumstances determine how you see yourself or who you are. Meghan Markle saw herself as worthy, as a princess and carried herself with elegance, grace and poise and that paid off because…err she’s got the actual crown jewels.

So those are my lessons: Label yourself positively, define family for yourself and carry yourself the way you want to be seen.

Wishing Harry, Meghan & baby a truly happy home.

And if Sisi Megs is really a scammer, well sis may the force be with you! 🙂