Today is my sister Anita’s birthday. Anita’s is the longest lasting friendship I have ever had. Together for long periods of time, we cannot stand each other. Yet, she is still the best of my friends and luckily she is at once, my sister.

As a child, I assumed that the reason Anita was younger than I was- even though she is born in July and I in September-, was because my parents stopped feeding Anita in July and she grew smaller and smaller until I was born in September to overtake her as the older sibling. Don’t ask. My four-year old mind could not compute the concept of years…as we can clearly see I was still struggling with the idea of months.

Growing up with a sister like Anita coming right after you is a challenge. Why? Anita is good at everything. I suck at Math and excel in English. Anita clears both, easily.  Even in the things that didn’t matter, Anita bested me. Her hair was fuller and longer, she hit puberty faster, her nails were whiter (something that as a child I, for some reason, weirdly wanted). And worst of all, as a child, Anita knew everything! Actually that’s still Anita today…difference is today she just THINKS she knows everything. Even as a child, she was charismatic. She has presence and would lead her class kids in the playground, beating people up without getting into a fight. Don’t ask me how. That’s our Anita. My only saving grace is that our parents didn’t compare us. We all grew up individuals.

But, my sister can be brash, aggressive in getting what she terms her due, but Anita is also unbelievably focused. She is a unique example of tempering ambition with integrity. Principled, she will fight to the death to see what she considers fairness done. In a world that is full of increasingly fluid people made malleable by greed or selfishness, Anita is stalwart and courageous enough to stand by her beliefs. My sister can be hard around the edges but inside, she is toffee soft. Incredibly sweet and kind (often to her own detriment), Anita is one of the few people in the world that may be termed an original.

I often forget these things about her as we are often at loggerheads, with me warning her to let her softness shine through sometimes; to allow people their own way, let go and not holding too tightly to personal dogmas, to the point of imposition on others. We are all work in progress.

The older I get, the more appreciative I am of my sisters. When you’re young, you believe this statement to be true ‘The blood of the battle is greater than the water of the womb’. You think you have friendships strengthened by common struggles, powerful enough to replace the blood bond of sisterhood. I have found that those bonds weaken with time. Time and time again I have had to mentally think back on a fight with Anita I had at 7 years old. It was to be the first time in my life that I knew that I was trapped. I said to Anita after she had committed a crime quite heinous to my 7 year old mind, “You’re not my friend anymore!” In her childlike wisdom, Anita responded looking at me in confusion,

“I am not your friend. I am your sister.”

Ladies and Gentlemen, I realized for the first time, that I was truly trapped. And today I thank God for such an entrapment of love. To have a friend who can never leave you, regardless of who you are or what you did, is to have a sister. A sister is the one who sees your many flaws yet plucks out the eyes of anyone else who sees them. To Anita I am imperfect…but let anyone else say that in her presence and live to tell the tale! Lol.

So happy birthday Anita, First of Her Name, Last of Her Kind. To Anita, My Voltron, the defender of my universe, my first friend and one of my best friends. Happy birthday my first best friend, may we always root for each other to win in this game called life.

Main Photo Credit: Darling Magazine