“Fashion is what one wears oneself. What is unfashionable is what other people wear.”

-Oscar Wilde

So in honour of Fashion Week, I’ve dedicated two posts to (yet another) list, “How to Shop Wisely and on a Budget”. Here’s 5-10. You can find 1-4 in my previous post. 🙂 Today we’re talking about style. Allons y!

5. Don’t Follow Trends…unless You Like Them AND They Suit You!

Oh man I can write a book on this. For a while, I would duplicate looks worn by a stylish friend who had a different face shape, body type, skin tone and so on…then wonder why they looked so different on me! Errrrr Wendy! Lol! Then I sat myself down one day and said to myself, “Self, look carefully at this mirror and register what you see.” I saw a face and body vastly different from my friend’s but in no way less beautiful. Don’t listen to the noise, DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE, filter that shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii and select ONLY what works for you! Follow the trends because YOU want to, not because “Mac says blue lipstick is all the rage”… Heifer, on you?!

In the wise words of Lauryn Hill, “Uh uh, come again!”

6. Contrast is King

Let me tell you something I really like about style; contrast. A very simple trick to looking stylish is to pair the unlikely. Long slinky dinner dress with flat sandals and messy hair on a casual day automatically elevates you on the style stakes because no one is really sure what you’re up to. You’ve taken what is revered and saved for a big occasion and dressed it down without diluting its potency. All of a sudden you seem more stylish than you (possibly) are. Like the rule on sexy dressing; only show one provocative feature at any one time, the rule on chic style is Maintain Balance. Try a big shirt with a small skirt or fitted high waist jeans with an over-sized t-shirt, or maybe try a big, free short dress balanced by a tiny belt to cinch the waist? Fashion is all about what we see, so make sure the picture presented is pleasant to the eyes…and balance is always pleasant to see.

7. Appropriateness is Queen

I remember at Berkeley, my fashion motto was, “I’m not overdressed, the masses are underdressed.” However, by appropriateness I’m not talking about wearing only lingerie and your mama’s church hat to midweek service or cell group fellowship with the brethren. I mean the tendency people have to match inappropriate pieces together. A slinky dinner gown with a back pack is actually very chic…what’s not is when someone really makes an effort, and fails. #Whomp. Like that American (sorry USA) tendency to wear bootlegged jeans, with a halter-style spandex top and covered manish foreman shoes (with heels *shudders*)…all topped with a really sparkly girly bag. Girl stahhhhp! You are officially doing the most!! Those same hideous shoes could have worked so much better if you cut those jeans to denim shorts, threw on one of your oversized t-shirts (those free shirts given to volunteers…maybe cut off the high neck to show a peek of cleavage), and use the blinged-out bag strap of your sparkly bag for a cool hippie headband. Leave the bag at home, use your pocket, you sexy tom boy you!

Simplicity is key.

8. Dress for Yourself

Now one of the things my mummy taught me is that as a woman, you should invest in nice, matching underwear. It’s important FYI. Sure no one’s seeing what’s underneath my dress but when I have nice lingerie on, I actually feel strangely happy all day like I’m hugging a private secret to myself. Real style comes from within; from the understanding that you have nothing to prove to anyone. I dress nice as often as possible because hell, why not?! Who am I dressing up for? My damn self that’s who! Lol! Am I not important enough? I remember once during NYSC camp I took off my clothes in the hostel and underneath was wearing this lace sunflower yellow underwear set I had. The girls exclaimed! Apparently men like muted or black-coloured lingerie! Why on earth, they wanted to know, would I wear something men wouldn’t like?! LOL! Because I’m not a man? Because I love it? Because it’s my body? Because the purpose of my life is not to please someone else’s warped sense of beauty? Because yellow makes me smile? Because this damn NYSC camp tapdances on my last nerve and I need to keep myself happy before I torch the place (with all of you) to the ground? I thought all that but just answered with a,

“I wear what I like”.

As if any real man would really get to the point where woman is in her underwear…then spend time complaining about the colour of said underwear.

Funny enough that was a phase and as I’m now in love with pastels and metallics, I wonder what these women might say.

I love to pick clothes I like and even from the store visualize myself in them, not at a party or dinner; just me in the clothes doing absolutely nothing. It’s just because it’s nice to come across yourself in a passing window and think, “Well hey, you look lovely today Wendelyn!” It just adds a spring to my step! And then when someone else confirms my thoughts, ooooo it’s like a million lightbulbs turning on at once! I love it. Funny enough if I don’t think I look very nice and I go out, it doesn’t matter how many people tell me the contrary, I’ll smile and say thanks but I’m not very happy inside because I don’t really believe it. That’s a real lesson in self-love actually; no one can make you happy or love you if you’re not happy or don’t love yourself inside. Hmm deep *snaps like I’m at an open mic* I have to stew on that later.

9. Don’t Buy Play Clothes. Ever.

Shop deliberately.

I remember once in law school in Nigeria, I finished class and got changed into a fitted monochrome maxi dress with a gold belt and with bathroom slippers I marched to the Mammy Market to forage for food. On my way there one of the Unilag-style ‘Big Girls’ accosted me asking, “Why are you always so dressed up?! You’re just going to the Mammy Market for goodness sake.” I answered her honestly, “I don’t have any play clothes.”

That’s the truth. Everything I buy has been well thought out. I’m sorry! I don’t have the money to waste. I shop deliberately, I don’t just buy clothes I will wear and lounge before the TV; everything I own is a soldier in the army and can be called upon at any time to represent me. Every single item has to be nice and versatile.

Never shop just because.

10. Single

I know some people say if you like something, always buy more than one of it. I’ve tried this a few times and never regretted It because I use and reuse the things I like. Joining my wardrobe is like a slavery sentence for clothes; I will use you! So it’s good to get duplicates of things you really like. Let me tell you why this works. I never buy anything that in my head, I cannot pair with a few things in my closet. My mum taught me this. Otherwise it’s a waste of money; your closet will be full of things that don’t match and despite having a full closet, you will never have anything to wear when the occasion arises! Any potential new addition to my closet has to be versatile and good for more than one event, so I get good value for my money. I hardly buy a dress just for a wedding or an award show…unless there is evidence that it can certainly be used again for another occasion or dressed down for some other use, I won’t leave the shop with it.

The one exception to this rule is bridesmaids dresses…the hearts of some brides match my current nail polish; jet black.