M: Been meaning to do this all day *Sends a hug across the ocean*
M: As always, you’re in my prayers.xx
X: Thanks. Much needed and appreciated.
M: do you feel like things are coming together bit by bit?
X: I am very blessed to say that things have always been coming together in my life. Always. It’s other people that didn’t think so. But God’s on my side. So the plan never stopped coming together! Even when things “fell apart”, always for better. Very blessed!
M: I love that. And that you always try to see the big picture. That’s wisdom. God continues to show His faithfulness through your milestones, despite struggles. You consistently overcome through your drive and spirit. I wish only the best for you in the year ahead and cannot wait to see you fully enter into the greatness that is ordained for you. The best is yet to come!
X: Thank you!!! ❤️❤️❤️
X: How’s the new gig and new city?
M: To be honest, I’m at peace. Might not be deliriously happy right now but definitely at peace.
X: Happiness as an outcome is overrated tbh. And deliriously happy is a sign of mania. So you are in a good place 🙂
M: Lol
X: Western culture overstates the importance of happiness
M: Happiness, it’s not very sustainable. And I like constancy
X: People who just wanna be happy set the bar very low for themselves
M: I think tbh I’m more than at peace. I’m actually content. To ask for more right now would be greed.
X: That’s a great place to be, a balanced one at that. And balance is the key to life according to my pastor lol
M: I agree
X: How’s your family?
M: Oh everyone is doing well. Busy with work and school. Yours?
X: The same! Thankful to God for them! Miss them dreadfully. They’re my best friends. So very hard not being around them
M: Same, funny how we get closer to them the older we get. The men treating you right?
X: Lol of course. But my focus is on settling [here]. All else will follow. Hope Nigerian men are doing the same for you?
M: You’ve had a while to settle though 😒. Now on to the mandem! Lol
X: Lol there’s no hurry. All in good time 🙂
M: If we were all that patient
X: Relax. Haste makes for a sham marriage. Which most people have
M: Ouch
X: So take your time and the right one will come. Life expectancy is like 85. So even if you get married at 35 that’s 50 years with one man. Long ass time
M: I think I’m not necessarily in a hurry to get married, if anything more in a hurry to meet someone right
X: So relax. Unless of course you want what the rest have. Lol most people haven’t met someone right. They’re lying to themselves
M: I think most of us can’t really articulate why we want to get married; I know I never seem able to justify why I want to get married right now
X: Pressure. If you can’t locate or articulate the reason. It’s the outside clouding the inside. You’ll be fine. Just chill and trust.
M: I know, I know.
X: But you just gotta block it out. The right man will come…and he’ll probably get on your damn nerves. And so will your cute kids. So enjoy this season where it’s just you doing you. You won’t have it for much longer. After that you’re gonna have to be using your uterus etc. But I’ll tell you something my mentor said to me, “The higher you climb and the more you venture in the world, getting to know yourself etc, your world opens up at each step and the pool of available men and even friends improves so pause before you choose. Don’t choose or love too quickly. Because better is on the way.
M: That’s good to hear. I’ve heard the opposite
X: Probably from a black person. My mentor is Jewish
M: Lol yeah
X: She knows what she’s talking about. And, she’s right. Blacks tend to think from a position of scarcity, Jews from abundance.
M: Lol! Fair enough.
X: All in all. Don’t worry or panic. God’s met all your needs thus far. And he’ll bring you more than you can even imagine.
M: Very correct.
X: The heart is fragile. And women love/like hard, so disappointment feels devastating. But, trust me when I tell you this, your world is about to open up. And you’ll meet men of a calibre that makes you a better woman. So just wait a bit. I’ve been there. You know something, especially in the Nigerian culture so many women live life for other people. Get married, have babies, do these jobs all based on societal expectation. But you’re in a rare position. You’ve consciously made your choices and life has rewarded you hitherto. Look how great your professional life has become in the last few years. Your personal life will do the same. Just hold on to yourself a bit tighter. And I know it’s hard cos you want a rock, s*x and some babies. Preferably in that order. But all that will come. It will come. Just believe in time. I have learned that time brings all the things that are diffused, into focus. And suddenly there’s peace. So believe in time. Time will do her job, so will Jesus.
X: I don’t want a man who is unsure. I do not deserve uncertainty
M: Exactly that. Exactly
X: I didn’t fight this hard, to settle or feel unsure. And any man that makes me feel fear or worry, I don’t need him
M: And if you can’t be certain on me then it’s clear you make bad decisions
X: Basically. Lol
X: I put it down to poor reasoning.
X: But you gotta speak to yourself. Literally remind yourself over and over that there is better out there. And you deserve it. Just trust that God is steering you towards better. You have no clue what he is protecting you from. [Because ] what we want isn’t always good for us
X: You don’t have a panoramic view
X: In fact your view is myopic clouded by intense emotion. So trust the God who sees all. And I know it’s hard
X: Jesus and I have mad trust issues. In terms of me not really liking his methods
M: Looool sounds about right!
X: But if the last few months have taught me anything, it’s that disruption works out for good. Even when it feels horrific
M: I know you’re right.
X: You’ll look back one day and understand. And in the present just try and relax
M: You’re a wise woman. I hope all the men know this
X: Ah that’s very kind of you to say
X: On most days, I’m just doing what I can to keep things together, but God’s grace seems to fill in the gaps
X: The men know it, but not all men can handle me. But I don’t tend to associate with men who think I need to be handled!