Because I’m not a pure christian everyday, Lol, here’s evidence that I will act ratchet for fun. Don’t watch me. #WeGoIn

Honestly sometimes I hear some people talk and I realise that people are just out here REACHING. Don’t ask for what you cannot give; Nemo Dat Quod Non Habet. You Cannot Give What You Do Not Have. Basic legal principle. People coming to the table empty handed, wanting someone else to bring the food, drinks AND the table. Kneegrow have a seat…preferably one you brought! #PleaseAndThanks #RealTalk. See how a discussion on this topic went down between my fine self and BFF, Cheeky…

Wendelyn:

Cheeky: *Crying-laughing emoji*

Cheeky: That’s right!

Wendelyn: I read it and immediately thought of this one guy. All his noise!!! The day I saw his sisters, I just carried all my silence and gave him to keep it for me.

Wendelyn: Audacity!

Cheeky: *Crying emoji*

Cheeky: Worst is when the guy no too make am

Wendelyn: Don’t say it!!

Wendelyn: *Blocking ears emoji*

Wendelyn: *Blocking ears emoji*

Wendelyn: *Blocking ears emoji*

Wendelyn: Loooooool

Cheeky: Lmaoo!

Cheeky: Bet it’s true

Wendelyn: The thing is that guys can get away with being from an ugly family. A bit of height, a beard, maybe some money…most women would pick an Idris Elba face over a Tyson Beckford pretty face anyway. But guy, recognise that position, don’t be asking for Beyonces when your own flesh and blood is Missy.

Wendelyn: Who will your sisters marry doe??

Wendelyn: *Covering mouth emoji*

Cheeky: Slayed!!!!! *Crying emoji*

Cheeky: Who sent you?

Cheeky: Lmao!

Wendelyn: Looool just saying

Cheeky: You crazy lol

Wendelyn: As in I was questioning the boy like Samuel the prophet in the house of David’s father, “Are these all the chil’rin?! Please are you sure there are no other children?!”

Wendelyn: #JesseBringYoKidzFromThaField

Wendelyn: Where is the Beyonce amongst them? In the field tending the goats?!

Wendelyn: *Crying-laughing emoji*

Wendelyn: That’s me done. *steps off pulpit*

Cheeky: *Crying-a-river emoji* Wendyyyyyyy!!!!!

Cheeky: Knock Out! *guns*

Cheeky: Oh my goodness. You have killed me

Wendelyn: Lolol Sorry but I’m just curious. Some men just misbehave.

Cheeky: Lol very audacious young men.

Cheeky: Who gon marry your sisters doe? LoL

Wendelyn: Lol please Chika now you have distracted me from my Sunday godliness. Please bye.

And I’m actually not even mad, I’m just fascinated by the audacity of people. Women without two copper coins to rub together to create fire on a cold day out here insisting on a man with two jeeps and three bedroomed homes?! Will your copper coins be headboard decor or serving plates? What exactly will you bring to ‘your’ home?!

Men on these streets demanding faces their genes can never replicate even if we asked the Jetsons to lend us their technology?! Play your position bruh.

But what do I know?

*Sips tea*