“That was the day she made herself a promise to live more from intention… and less from habit.”

I was looking back at last year and realized that what made the year so remarkable, is the fact that it was the first year, the first time in my life really, that my focus was almost entirely outside of myself. There’s a quote I really like;

“When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves”

I found that perhaps because I was so busy helping others sort out their situations, God really looked out for mine. I think on a fundamental level, that is actually the real test of faith; when you have real issues to worry about but you leave the worrying and stressing and focus on helping to assuage someone else’s worry and fretting. It’s like literally saying to the fates, “I trust you so much that I’m not going to micro manage your work in my life.” You do that and God really goes over and above the call of duty for you with things you didn’t even think to know to think to dream about.

In my current office, new joiners are assigned a mentor. I met up with mine recently. Due to scheduling conflicts, we hadn’t been able to find time to meet and discuss. After learning a bit about me; my goals and aspirations, she asked me,

“Do you have a plan? Or is life simply happening to you?”

That gave me pause. I mean I wouldn’t say I’m doing too shabbily at the monent. I have decent, steady employment, I’m living in a comfortable home- albeit my parents’- and I have substantially more money than I did at this same time last year. Life’s good, hombres et muchachas! Life. Is. Good.

Yet when I contemplated, I realized that these things although terribly grand, were all incidental. A lot of things have simply ‘happened’ to me this year and because these things have all been good (and shall continue to be so, amen!), I haven’t really stopped to plot and prepare. I’ve just been going along, enjoying being ‘happened’ to. I was telling Victor the other day that one thing I’ve learnt about Christianity is that it cannot be stagnant. It’s a deliberate and conscious choice to do more, to improve yourself, to grow more in and with God. The truth is, monitor yourself, if you’re not growing or getting closer to God, chances are you are slowly slipping back into your old habits and ways or becoming more permissive of certain things.

For myself, I find that it’s easy to forget God when things are going well. Or more likely, it is easy to forget your role as a Christian.

I said to Bolu this morning, more or less in response to his ‘Hello!’… I just went off on a tangent. #HeNeverHesperrerit. Lol! He still dealt with it like a champ though. I tend to do that. So, anyway, I go on the following diatribe to this unsuspecting young man.

“You know, I realise that my life has become very insular. I’m not performing at optimum all round because I’ve become too focused on myself. I work, eat, sleep.

I have this theory that every Christian is called to basically contribute to bringing God’s kingdom here/actually being the ‘God’ that people can see. Last year I was involved in a ton of things to help others and in the middle of doing that, I realised I stopped being so anxious for the things I wanted. And weirdly, I got them. In fact, I was thinking yesterday about when I fell sick at the end of last year. I was actually sick for months and thought it was just stress, before my body broke down because it was so overwhelmed. But I remember driving home on several nights and feeling so weak that I’d fall asleep as I drove. Terrifying. But God kept me.

Anyways, so He’s helped me out a lot and the only thing He asks back from us, is to actually be the hands He needs to answer others’ prayers and do His work on earth. Yet somehow, I’m this year so totally focused on myself and my current comfortable position that I’ve forgotten my role as a Christian is a little bigger than me. Anyway so, I’m thinking of one or two things to get back there. One of the things I did at The Waterbrook Church in Lagos, in addition to being in the choir, is that I ran this group to help people with job and school applications. It was within another department I was in. Stressful but great. So I’m thinking I might try to do that in this new church here, although I don’t really know how to go about it as I don’t know anyone really.

You know, even [making a commitment to start going for midweek service and keeping it by] going for midweek service yesterday was a commitment I’m pleased I kept. Last year, I told myself that despite what happens at my office, I will go to church more than once. Most times, I’d get there at the tail end of the service but somehow, I would still gain something. I realised yesterday that it’s really more about making and sticking to a commitment to be better, than even the actual participation. Anyway, that’s my rant over. *Steps off soapbox*”

“Oh and I normally come to this place after a mental or emotional beat down, trust me. Lol. I was dealing with something. I think that’s the purpose of pain though, it should make your heart more open to God. As Solomon says, it’s easy to forget God when you’re happy!”

(AND SCENE!)

What am I saying? I’m committing to getting back to God’s army…not just being on God’s side, but being a part of those workers who join God in healing and changing the world and doing that “…May your kingdom come bit” of the Lord’s prayer. Sounds grand, but hey that’s what we’re called to do as Christians no?

“Like a mighty army moving into battle…The attackers march like warriors and scale city walls like soldiers.
Straight forward they march, never breaking rank. They never jostle each other; each moves in exactly the right position.They break through defenses without missing a step.”- Joel 2:7

(Joel is such an interesting book though, for a book whose author’s name means ‘Mountain Goat’, it’s amazing actually! #iKidiKid…His name does mean Mountain Goat though -_____- #JustSaying)

[Oh and yes, totally gratuitous picture of Eku Edewor, yah girl style crush for sure. Sue may!]