Because good men are not unicorns, a belated father’s day post in honour of my daddy; Chairman, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. And, in honour of all the other good men in my life whose very existence defies skewed statistics and angry women. I thank you all for living with integrity and discipline. *raises flute in salutation*

I was going to write about dads; to describe the perfect father but the more I think about, the more I realize that the perfect father is a myth, a fallacy, in fact, an urban legend comparable to the existence of the weekend. I always seem to hear about this much loved weekend, but by Monday morning I can swear that I have never seen it, that it never happened!

So elusive is the ideal of perfection.

As people, the pressure from our families, work, organizations, society and ultimately from within ourselves to be perfect is brutal and pervasive. From the way we look, to the things we say and the way we act, we are the continuous subject of critical analysis. Often, the indices with which we are judged are outside our control, this is one reason perfection makes an unstable goal. Women for instance, are judged by what husbands do outside the home. This alone has the potency to make society brand you a good or bad woman. How your children perform at school, can lead the entire world to conclude that you are a shameful mother, regardless of how many personal sacrifices you make to your children’s growth. It is little wonder that so many women are torn up, beaten down, shoved aside and tired within.

In the midst of thinking about all of this I wondered, “If perfection is so unattainable a goal, why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect ; perfect children, wives, parents…or all three?!” Surely, to strive for perfection is a form of perfection in itself. Perhaps the time has come to shift our perception of what a person is supposed to be, from PERFECT…to GOOD.

When did being good go out of fashion? Why is it no longer enough to be a good person; a good woman, good friend, a good mother? Ask me to describe the perfect father and my speech will suddenly become peppered with “…errrrs” and ‘…uhmmms’ and you will possibly receive the picture of a cartoon angel. But, ask me to tell you about a good father and I will speak, fluently, from my experience of being raised by a good dad, surrounded by good men, taught by good wives cherished by good men, loved by good people.

As soon as I began to think of what should constitute the definition of a good father, I found that I was better able to articulate my thoughts.

My daddy is a good man. He has given my sisters and I the greatest gift in the world; the power of his example. That is the one true mark of a good parent. He has the perception to know that the most powerful tool to teach, inspire and build a child, is an example. Like my mother who understands that the umbilical cord is never cut, but remains invisible yet unbreakable, binding mother to child in an eternal embrace, my father knows the pain of laughing outside when he is weeping inside…to keep his children from crying outside. I know about the unselfishness of a good father, he will sacrifice too many of his needs to satisfy his children’s wants. Good father’s love and love… and love and in the midst of scarcity, they somehow find some inner black market reserve of even more (unadulterated) love and strength, despite hurt, shame, defeat and pain. A good dad teaches his children the power of self-respect and self-government, yet allows them to grow with individuality and dignity.

A good dad is at once superhero and dragon-slayer, dream-supporter and nightmare-destroyer, intercessor and challenger, best friend and formidable ally, mediator and defender, solution- provider and situation-diffuser, he is the heart-healer and hope-bringer. He is all things, yet he is one thing; Daddy.

Do you know, I think that good fathers are quite possibly, the guardian angel God sends to watch His children until they return to Him?

#Latergram