The Prayer before The Prayer

I want to be willing to forgive

But I dare not ask for the will to forgive

In case He give it to me and I am not yet ready

I’m not yet ready for my heart to soften

Not yet ready to be vulnerable again

Not yet ready to see that there is humanity in my tormentor’s eye

Or that the one who hurt me may also have cried

I am not yet ready for the journey

Not yet interested in the path.

I’m at the prayer before the prayer of forgiveness

Grant me the will to want to forgive

Grant it to me

Not yet.

But soon.

-Mpho Tutu

I got this from Day 4 of the Desmond and Mpho Tutu ’30 Day Forgiveness Challenge’ I’m currently doing. It’s been an interesting and perhaps slightly revealing journey so far. I’d encourage everyone to try it at: http://journey.forgivenesschallenge.com/

You might be surprised at what you’d learn.