A conversation on the comic town of Warri in Delta state at work today brought this list of Warri quotations I’ve had saved for ages to mind. Thanks to the unquenchably driven Eki, whose thirst for foolishness on these e-streets is unmatched, I have a long list of questionable proverbs common amongst the comical Warri people. We had a very fun time this morning at work trying to decipher the meaning of some of these dubious words of wisdom from the Warri chieftains.

Proverbs are funny because everyone understands and interpretes them differently based on a combined force of life perspective, personal choices and insight levels. I’ve added my interpretation to each proverb, but I’m almost certain I’ve totally misinterpreted a ton. It was still fun trying though!

The Warri people say…

“Man wey like sleep, na for him dream him roof go begin leak !” I love this one! It’s the pidgin version of Proverbs 24: 33, “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, then poverty wull come as a robber and want like an armed man.

“Lion say na him be the king of the jungle…elephant say him no dey the meeting that day.” There are levels of power. There’s always a REAL Oga at the Top.

“Actor no dey die for film”. It’s not over until the fat lady sings.

“A stitch in time…….. dey prevent further tear tear.” Don’t procrastinate.

“A rolling stone ……… na person push am.” LOL…please I have no translation for this one!

“Na pikin wey no know e mama boyfriend dey call am uncle.” Ignorance is dangerous.

“Na heat wey garri see wey e change name to eba.”
Adversity reveals character.

“Wetin you no go chop, no use teeth divide am.” Don’t start what you can’t finish.

“Dem no de argue swimming near river…..make una jump enter.“ Go big or go home. Or Just do it!

“No be small thing plantain see before e change im name to ballee.” Adversity builds character and trial expands capacity.

“One man’s meat is another man’s meat pie.” Variant of “One man’s meat is another man’s poison.” Every challenge is a potential opportunity.

“No forget say devil na area boy, God na Area Fada.” God is sovereign.

“Oyibo say na him introduce us to God, I tell am say Osanobuo, Oghene, Chukwu, Oritshe, Tamuno na English name???” Africans have always had a strong sense of the existence of a Supreme God, as the listed names are ancient (still used) names for God existing before the advent of colonialisation.

“Jangulova and see-saw, the difference na in their injury.” Poor vs. Rich? I don’t know.

“E go better!” “E go better!”, na im dey make Igbo man stay Lagos tey oh!” The perception that things will change makes people stay much longer in a situation than they ought.

“No be everybody wey dey pick e teeth, na im chop better meat oh!” Don’t believe the hype.

“Na small sh*t dey stain pant.” A little yeast can influence, or potentially destroy, the entire flour.

“Mugu fall, guyman chop.” One (foolish) man’s fall is another (sharp) man’s rise.

“Escort me!”, “Escort me!” ….na im slave trade take start.” Evil comes gently, playfully, little by little, so stay vigilant and be careful.

“Na when man don nearly piss finish, na him d piss fit stain cloth.” At the moment of weakness, the potential for mistake is increased. Don’t let your guard down, stay strong.

“Oyibo say, “Why una dey call am orange, when the fruit green?” I tell am say na Alimo we dey call am, na them they call am Orange.” LOL! Self-explanatory…actually perhaps I should mention that oranges in Nigeria are green. An orange orange here, will be considered a mutation or witchcraft.

“No be today yansh get centre parting.” Rather crude way of saying there’s nothing new under the sun. Or perhaps a retort to hearing stale gist?

“Monkey wear canvas enter town you go know say e get plans.” From the appearance of something unusual, you’ll know something big is about to happen.

“Na when milk business end, na im yoghurt business start.” Necessity is the mother of invention.

“Siddon-Look na Bingo name.” Humans are proactive, local dogs do nothing but sit and stare.

“White cloth wen attend charcoal feast, go get wetin e find go dier “ When you deliberately put yourself in a dangerous situation, you will find what you went looking for; the actualization of perceived danger.

“Person wey chop puff puff and the one wey chop Burger ..the difference is clear.” Levels dey! Lol.

“Them dey pursue fine animal enter bush, Pig say na because him dodge, naim make them no catch am! “ More insult than proverb for the delusional, self-important person, whose hype is only believable to himself.

“Wetin consine bird with toothbrush? he no get any teeth!” Mind your business

“Okro say if you take am make yanga, e go spoil your dress.” Don’t play with fire.

“Pikin when dem dey carry for back no know say road to Lagos far.” Experience is the best teacher; over sheltering or over pampering leaves one with a warped perception of reality.

“No worry my broda, one day be one day, breeze go blow, and fowl yansh go show.” Whatever is done in the darkness, will one day come to light.

“No be lie bross because “How Coconut take get water inside? Nobody Know”.” Certain things are inexplicable.

“Na for where dem dey advice pikin wey get mama, na there the one wey no get dey learn.” You don’t need to learn everything by experience, secondary wisdom is as invaluable as primary.

“Na fly wey no get advisor dey follow dead body enter grave.” I think the bible says this in a different way by saying, “…without counsel plans fail, but in the multitude of counselors they succeed.”-Proverbs 15:22

“Bukka is good, but Mr. Biggs is better!” Appreciate your accomplishments but raise the bar each time.

“Ashawo no be work, na “pastime.” Prostitution is not a job, it’s a hobby.

“Lizard for warri no fit turn to crocodile for London” A leopard can’t change its spots.

“Dem say make dem count all the meat inside pot kpomo come dey raise hand.” Insulting comment aimed at addressing someone who clearly thinks more of herself than she ought.

The difference between kpekere and plantain chips na the packaging.” It’s the Form v. Content debate as kpekere and plantain chips are the same thing, the latter just sounds cooler. “Packaging”, is there a more 21st century Nigerian word?? Lol.

“One good turn……… na power steering be that.”

“A bird in hand……, na christmas chicken food be that. “

“He who laughs last……, na mumu. Na now he know wetin dey happen?”

“The patient dog……, Na hunger go kill am.”

Check out more Warri sayings on the Warri No Dey Carry Last group on Facebook.

And finally, in rather dissimilar but in a weirdly related vein, a colleague threw in a beautiful Yoruba proverb. I won’t try to write the Yoruba version lest I murder the sentence, but it translates to this,

“Two people who love each other have forever to fight…so why start now?”