Margarita is one of my favourite friends, not just for her general irreverence and comedic ingenuity, but because she is fiercely loyal and actually tries to maintain moral integrity in a conflicted world. It’s impressive to see. Margarita is also a staunch Catholic. The other way, we had an interesting discussion about catholicism.

I’ve assured her that if the Vatican gets wind of this blog post and somehow considers any of her words worthy of excommunicating their speaker, she may come share a pew with me at the merry Pentecostals.

20/09/2013 10:31:28: Wendelyn NO: I like this pope. “The feminine genius is needed wherever we make important decisions.”

20/09/2013 10:31:32: Wendelyn NO: :0/

20/09/2013 10:36:59: Margarita: Lol

20/09/2013 10:37:08: Margarita: I saw that yesterday

20/09/2013 10:37:20: Margarita: He’s a good media person

20/09/2013 10:37:44: Margarita: He was responding to the question of female priests

20/09/2013 10:38:13: Margarita: I think he just doesn’t want people to feel excluded

20/09/2013 10:44:26: Wendelyn NO: I think what he is doing is really good and far more likely to bring people back to God. He is not judging.

20/09/2013 10:44:37: Wendelyn NO: At the same time, he isn’t moving from his core stance

20/09/2013 10:44:55: Wendelyn NO: On female priests, homosexuality, abortion etc

20/09/2013 10:45:26: Wendelyn NO: He said on abortion and stuff that we all know what the bible says about it so is there really a need to say more?

20/09/2013 10:45:30: Wendelyn NO: Very good

20/09/2013 10:45:40: Margarita: That has always been the stance of the church but he just expresses it better

20/09/2013 10:45:48: Margarita: Yeah

20/09/2013 10:46:07: Margarita: He’s very in touch with the present day

20/09/2013 10:46:29: Wendelyn NO: It’s really impressive.

20/09/2013 10:46:27: Margarita: It’s his personality

20/09/2013 10:46:49: Wendelyn NO: Is he the first from a Latin American country?

20/09/2013 10:46:55: Margarita: Yup

20/09/2013 10:46:59: Margarita: Ever

20/09/2013 10:47:22: Margarita: First non-European ever

20/09/2013 10:47:34: Wendelyn NO: Ah they should have done this since

20/09/2013 10:47:46: Margarita: He’s a Jesuit as well

20/09/2013 10:47:59: Wendelyn NO: 1st Jesuit?

20/09/2013 10:48:05: Margarita: Yup

20/09/2013 10:48:10: Wendelyn NO: Awesome

20/09/2013 10:48:42: Margarita: And Jesuits have a reputation for being incredibly smart

20/09/2013 10:48:52: Wendelyn NO: As we know first hand

20/09/2013 10:49:00: Margarita: He’s also extremely simple

20/09/2013 10:49:46: Margarita: He’s trying to cut back on excesses that the Catholic Church is associated with

20/09/2013 10:50:32: Margarita: He’s named after saint Francis of Assisi who is known for his extreme simplicity

20/09/2013 10:51:05: Margarita: I’m excited about him and where he’ll take the church

20/09/2013 10:51:12: Margarita: 😊

20/09/2013 10:51:28: Wendelyn NO: Is he younger than the others?

20/09/2013 10:51:45: Margarita: Not really

20/09/2013 10:52:09: Margarita: Pope John Paul was really young when he became pope

20/09/2013 10:52:20: Margarita: He was there for a long time though

20/09/2013 10:52:47: Wendelyn NO: I hope he will also tackle the paedophilia and abuse, I think that’s one way the church has dropped the ball. That continuous hiding/”…lets not air our dirty laundry”. Same in all denominations, see the COZA scandal for instance.

20/09/2013 10:53:31: Margarita: Yeah

20/09/2013 10:53:37: Margarita: That’s a huge one

20/09/2013 10:53:52: Margarita: And it will be difficult to deal with

20/09/2013 10:54:12: Wendelyn NO: Yeah and the church really really fails in its duty to the victims by protecting the predators

20/09/2013 10:54:43: Margarita: Cos I think priests generally view themselves as brothers and are afraid of what it will do to the reputation of the church

20/09/2013 10:55:04: Margarita: Not knowing that hiding it harms the church’s reputation even more

20/09/2013 10:55:10: Wendelyn NO: That’s the funny thing; it does much much more damage to the reputation of the church

20/09/2013 10:55:13: Wendelyn NO: Exactly

20/09/2013 10:56:01: Margarita: In a church of a billion plus people ,of course people are gonna mess up

20/09/2013 10:56:16: Margarita: Deal with it properly and move on

20/09/2013 10:56:36: Margarita: That’s one thing that I wonder about

20/09/2013 10:56:39: Wendelyn NO: In this world where people are taught to question everything, the one true thing the church should be giving is transparency, honesty and integrity. You can’t find those anywhere else in the world! People need it and the church should be the leader/example in that.

20/09/2013 10:57:04: Margarita: I agree

20/09/2013 10:57:55: Wendelyn NO: Exactly! I’m always like, “…why does the church not manage this thing properly internally so that even if it does come out later, people will say, “ah but they tried now; they punished the man, they did x or y, what else would you want them to do again?!””

20/09/2013 10:57:57: Margarita: Very essential

20/09/2013 10:58:15: Margarita: Yup

20/09/2013 10:58:32: Margarita: I wonder why they didn’t ask him about that on that interview yday

20/09/2013 10:58:53: Margarita: I’m actually curious to know how he plans to handle it

20/09/2013 10:59:06: Wendelyn NO: And then the matter will die. But we always wait until it explodes and then everyone looks bad because it looks like we were covering for the villain meanwhile the poor victim is there. And of course the world is going to side the victim because we all relate to that person.

20/09/2013 10:59:16: Wendelyn NO: Maybe they said they couldn’t ask about that

20/09/2013 10:59:23: Wendelyn NO: He better do something about it sha

20/09/2013 10:59:25: Margarita: I doubt it

20/09/2013 11:01:42: Margarita: I worry about it though because pedophilia is not a normal thing at all

20/09/2013 11:02:12: Wendelyn NO: Lol nooo sh*t!

20/09/2013 11:02:16: Wendelyn NO: Loool you think????!

20/09/2013 11:02:20: Wendelyn NO: 😂

20/09/2013 11:02:27: Wendelyn NO: Of course it’s not!

20/09/2013 11:02:53: Margarita: And how I see it is the devil’s way of testing the church and the only way to handle it is to deal with in a proper and thorough way

20/09/2013 11:02:58: Margarita: Once and for all

20/09/2013 11:03:05: Margarita: Purge the system

20/09/2013 11:03:12: Margarita: Zero tolerance

20/09/2013 11:03:21: Margarita: I’m being serious

20/09/2013 11:03:34: Wendelyn NO: As in Margarita, you have filled your Redundant News quota of the day, “paedophilia is not a normal thing”. Still stuck on that.

20/09/2013 11:03:35: Wendelyn NO: Lol

20/09/2013 11:03:40: Wendelyn NO: But yeah I agree

20/09/2013 11:03:57: Wendelyn NO: I think the stance of the church has been too liberal tbh

20/09/2013 11:04:00: Margarita: I can see how other vices of the church can be explained to an extent

20/09/2013 11:04:43: Margarita: Pedophilia (the recurrence of it) in the church literally cannot be explained

20/09/2013 11:04:44: Wendelyn NO: And it’s funny because the church can turn a blind eye to it and pretend it’s not happening.

20/09/2013 11:04:57: Wendelyn NO: Meanwhile, it is something that can happen so easily

20/09/2013 11:05:08: Margarita: That’s what I mean by it is not normal

20/09/2013 11:05:14: Margarita: Yeah

20/09/2013 11:05:39: Wendelyn NO: And the system can claim they didn’t know

20/09/2013 11:05:55: Margarita: It can but why would someone who has dedicated their life to serving God do something like that?

20/09/2013 11:06:27: Margarita: I actually can’t explain it

20/09/2013 11:07:23: Margarita: It has happened in different parts of the world at different times with unrelated priests

20/09/2013 11:08:11: Margarita: I actually think it is the Church’s biggest temptation/challenge today

20/09/2013 11:08:29: Margarita: The question is how do you solve it

20/09/2013 11:08:38: Margarita: ?!

20/09/2013 11:08:43: Margarita: It’s tough

20/09/2013 11:11:06: Wendelyn NO: I wonder though, were they always drawn to kids and chose this path so they could has access to what they really wanted? Or did this urge come from the access to kids and seeing these children’s vulnerability or reliance on them or innocence or something? I think these are the sorts of things that must be understood to even battle it

20/09/2013 11:11:57: Margarita: Exactly

20/09/2013 11:12:06: Wendelyn NO: Why is it the priests that are attracted to children? Are they already paedophiles and enter the church system because they know it will give them access and they will be protected?

20/09/2013 11:12:30: Margarita: I highly doubt that someone would choose to be a priest because of their pedophile desires

20/09/2013 11:12:37: Wendelyn NO: Or is there a system internally that encourages them to abuse?

20/09/2013 11:12:45: Margarita: Exactly

20/09/2013 11:12:54: Margarita: I think it’s the second

20/09/2013 11:13:09: Wendelyn NO: Not only because of that but because it puts them in a great position of access to what they want with little consequences

20/09/2013 11:13:23: Wendelyn NO: It might be a mix of both actually

20/09/2013 11:13:24: Margarita: I think so

20/09/2013 11:13:49: Wendelyn NO: I read that over 20-30% of people that work in the social care system are paedophiles

20/09/2013 11:13:59: Margarita: But do you know the sacrifice and time it takes to become a priest?

20/09/2013 11:14:13: Wendelyn NO: Foster parents, orphanage keepers, social workers

20/09/2013 11:14:22: Margarita: It’s a high price to pay just to get access to children

20/09/2013 11:14:29: Wendelyn NO: The purpose of choosing that field is to increase access to vulnerable kids

20/09/2013 11:14:40: Margarita: When you can actually just become a social worker

20/09/2013 11:14:49: Wendelyn NO: High price but worth it to the deranged mind maybe

20/09/2013 11:14:53: Wendelyn NO: I guess

20/09/2013 11:14:59: Margarita: It’s much easier to become a social worker or teacher

20/09/2013 11:15:12: Wendelyn NO: But what other sacrifices do you make as a priest?

20/09/2013 11:15:37: Wendelyn NO: You have a lot of power, influence, you travel and have your needs looked after. You are respected

20/09/2013 11:15:56: Margarita: Poverty, celibacy, loss of your personal freedom to control your life

20/09/2013 11:16:03: Wendelyn NO: And if you don’t like grown women anyways, the no marriage thing isn’t a big deal

20/09/2013 11:16:07: Wendelyn NO: Poverty?

20/09/2013 11:16:15: Margarita: Of course

20/09/2013 11:16:43: Margarita: The first thing a priest does is take a vow of poverty and celibacy

20/09/2013 11:16:52: Margarita: You don’t own anything personally

20/09/2013 11:16:59: Wendelyn NO: Yeah but even in ‘poor’ Africa, the priests don’t go hungry

20/09/2013 11:17:13: Wendelyn NO: You don’t own mansions and stuff but you do have your basic requirements met

20/09/2013 11:17:22: Wendelyn NO: With no hustling from you

20/09/2013 11:17:24: Margarita: Your superior can literally post you to the end of the earth and there’s nothing you can do

20/09/2013 11:18:08: Margarita: I actually do think that it is a huge sacrifice you make to become a priest

20/09/2013 11:18:41: Margarita: Don’t look at it from the Jesuit model

20/09/2013 11:18:53: Margarita: That’s a very liberal model

20/09/2013 11:18:57: Wendelyn NO: I’m not sure I agree but I do see what you mean about it being a bit silly to do all that just to get access to kids

20/09/2013 11:19:11: Margarita: And note that most of the Jesuits we knew were not priests

20/09/2013 11:20:11: Wendelyn NO: Fair enough. Still though, priests always have their basic needs met

20/09/2013 11:21:10: Margarita: Literally our last parish priest went from a life of enjoyment to being posted to a church in a village in Ijebu with no light or water

20/09/2013 11:21:40: Wendelyn NO: Lol ouch

20/09/2013 11:21:52: Wendelyn NO: Ok fair enough actually

20/09/2013 11:22:03: Wendelyn NO: It’s a stretch.

20/09/2013 11:22:06: Margarita: The process it takes to get there is also serious and they try to weed out those who are there for the wrong reasons

20/09/2013 11:22:15: Margarita: Kind of like my fair lady

20/09/2013 11:22:19: Wendelyn NO: But those who end up abusing must have had a little tendency.

20/09/2013 11:22:31: Margarita: *sound of music

20/09/2013 11:22:33: Wendelyn NO: There is nothing you can do to me to make me molest a child.

20/09/2013 11:22:38: Margarita: Yup

20/09/2013 11:22:51: Margarita: This is what I’m saying

20/09/2013 11:23:01: Wendelyn NO: The tendency must have been latent and the system plus proximity to children just exacerbated it or something

20/09/2013 11:23:43: Margarita: So I feel like everyone has their demons and it takes the right situation to bring It out

20/09/2013 11:24:17: Wendelyn NO: Yeah but how is your collective demon paedophilia?

20/09/2013 11:24:40: Wendelyn NO: You know we would not have been so scandalised if the collective demon was women. Which they have similar access to.

20/09/2013 11:25:32: Margarita: Exactly my point

20/09/2013 11:25:46: Margarita: It’s not normal

20/09/2013 11:26:15: Margarita: It would make sense if it was women

20/09/2013 11:26:29: Margarita: Even though that would be wrong

20/09/2013 11:26:59: Margarita: But you get my drift

20/09/2013 11:27:31: Margarita: I feel like it’s the access to children

20/09/2013 11:28:22: Margarita: Altar servants being alone with them and changing in front of the priests etc

20/09/2013 11:28:28: Margarita: Do you get?

20/09/2013 11:30:46: Wendelyn NO: No, it’s more than just access to children. It’s access, a system that either encourages and protects it or just doesn’t actively discourage and punishes it. Plus a latent paedophilic tendency that already exists in the person. If it were just access then all the priests who change in the same room with altar servants will want to abuse them

20/09/2013 11:31:16: Wendelyn NO: The desire is there and the system enables it.

20/09/2013 11:31:50: Margarita: Fair enough

20/09/2013 11:31:56: Wendelyn NO: It can’t be only one.

20/09/2013 11:32:19: Margarita: Of course

20/09/2013 11:33:13: Wendelyn NO: Damn shame

20/09/2013 11:34:08: Wendelyn NO: May God cause them to rot in the deepest portion of hell. And give the new pope the wisdom and righteous anger to actively help God send them to that hell.

20/09/2013 11:35:20: Margarita: Lol

20/09/2013 11:36:13: Margarita: I think that’s the type of judgmental sentiment that the new pope is trying to avoid

20/09/2013 11:38:38: Wendelyn NO: There are somethings that you have to be firm on, otherwise it won’t stop, they will just hide better

20/09/2013 11:40:37: Wendelyn NO: Other popes have tried to avoid judgmental sentiment and look where it has gotten the church. Anyways if the pope continues as he has been going, my faith is in his ability to do the right thing.