So today, Onyinye’s BBM status said “…I want my stuff, my rhythm, my voice, the kick and sway of me, my delicate leg and whimsical kiss. Nobody walks off with my stuff!”

Those lines sounded familiar so I asked her where they came from. Turns out they are from one of the best poems in the play by Ntozake (meaning ‘She Who Has Her Own Things’) Shange titled, ‘For Coloured Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enough’. It’s interesting to me, that in the movie adaptation of the play, the speech where those lines on Onyinye’s status were said, was the one that resonated the most. That speech is actually a poem titled ‘Someone Almost Walked Away With Alla my Stuff’.

I know that sometimes when people’s hearts are hurting and wounded, especially following a break-up, it can feel as though someone has taken bits and bobs of your person and just done a two-step on the very essence of you. As though they’ve walked away with a part of you still in their possession.

Emphasis on the word “feels”.

It is important to not believe everything you think…or feel.

What I love about this poem is the fact that it says, “…he ALMOST got away with all of my stuff.” The lady in the poem talks about someone who has left her physically, in the wake of his leaving she feels that bits of her core were almost stolen; parts of her personality, her mind, robbed her of her very self in a way. That appears to be the case until she does two things; (1) she understands that she OWNS ALL OF HERSELF; and (2) she wakes up to her responsibility to herself.

It is up to each of us to understand that we are whole; that we in ourselves are sufficient, flaws and failures included. Accept You. Love You. No one has the power to take what we don’t authorise them to have. And that’s the truth about the power that each of us carries within.

For some reason, I am always drawn to this idea of wholesomeness, especially in women. I think the ‘curse’ of Eve in Genesis 3:16, “…you will desire to please your husband and he will rule over you”, is terrifying and perhaps the root of the self-doubt and need for affirmation so many women carry. This in itself is not such a bad thing because it can give room for humility, growth and appreciation of constructive criticism where arrogance may otherwise exist. But, self-doubt is also easily manipulated so that many of us walk about on earth never fully understanding or appreciating our worth.

Perhaps in support of that is the fact that so few of us really understand that our worth is actually insular…it’s not a result of what happens around us, what we have, who we are with or what anyone says.

We are invaluable simply because we are. No explanation necessary. God made me, that is enough reason to know that I am worth something. A lot actually.
Self-doubt is what makes many of us so malleable, desperate to please, in frantic search of being loved and in despairing need of company…and that’s why people can so easily walk away with all our ‘stuff’.

What is most terrifying is just how easy it is, for someone to make you feel less than you are. This is particularly easy when you love or trust someone or value their opinion. We all have to be aware of people that devour our souls. Ok, a tad melodramatic but I’m not talking about demons or dementors, I mean people whose sense of worth is found on chipping away at others’.

To me that’s a soul devourer comparable to any demon or dementor.

Love is a beautiful and interesting thing. But love, like hearts, is fragile. It’s important for the heart-wounded (I don’t really believe in heartbreak where death isn’t involved) to understand that as much as it feels as though someone has gotten away with you; your innocence, your joy, your peace of mind, your heart, your personality, your sanity…this is merely an illusion. You are capable of a lot more strength than you realise, trust meI have the t-shirt. No one can get away with anything of ours, they can try for sure, but we own our peace of mind, our joy, our purity, our destinty…we might forget and someone might make away with it but once we wakeup to our responsibility, they can’t get very far with what belongs to us because we have a reversionary interest; we always retain the power to take back what belongs to us.

Get away with my things indeed! I wish a nigga would like a ***** in this tree! Lol.

Somebody Almost Walked Off Wid Alla My Stuff by Ntozake Shange

Somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff
Not my poems or a dance I gave up in the street
But somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff
Like a kleptomaniac workin hard & forgettin while stealin
This is mine!
This ain’t your stuff
Now why don’t you put me back
& let me hang out in my own self

Somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff!
& didn’t care enuff to send a note home sayin
I was late for my solo conversation
Or two sizes too small for my own tacky shirts
What can anybody do wid somethin of no value on a open market?
Did you getta dime for my things?

Hey man
Where are you goin wid alla my stuff?!
This is a woman’s trip & I need my stuff
To ohh & ahh abt
Daddy I gotta mainline number
From my own sh*t
Now wontchu put me back& let me play this duet
Wit this silver ring in my nose

Honest to god!
Somebody almost run off wid alla my stuff!
& I didn’t bring anythin but the kick & sway of it
The perfect ass for my man & none of it is theirs
This is mine
Ntozake’s things
That’s my name
Now give me my stuff

I see ya hidin my laugh
& how I sit wif my legs open sometimes
To give my crotch some sunlight
& there goes my love, my toes, my chewed-up finger nails
Niggah
Wif the curls in your hair
Mr. Louisiana hot link
I want my stuff back
My rhytums & my voice
Open my mouth
& let me talk ya outta
Throwin my shit in the sewar
This is some delicate leg & whimsical kiss
I gotta have to give to my choice
Without you runnin off wit alla my shit

Now you cant have me less I give me away
& I waz doin all that
Til ya run off on a good thing
Who is this you left me wit?
Some simple b*tch
Widda bad attitude!
I wants my things
I want my arm wit the birth mark
& my leg wit the bike burns
I want my calloused feet & quik language back in my mouth
Fried plantains
Pineapple pear juice
Sun-ra & Joseph & Jules

I want my own things
How I lived them
& give me my memories
How I waz when I waz there
You cant have them or do nothin wit them
Stealin my sh*t from me
Don’t make it yours
Makes it STO…LEN

Somebody almost run off wid alla my stuff!!
& I waz standin there
Lookin at myself
The whole time & it waznt a spirit took my stuff
Waz a man whose ego walked round like Rodan’s shadow
Waz a man faster than my innocence
Waz a lover
I made too much room for
Almost run off wit alla my stuff
& I didnt know I’d give it up so quik
& the one runnin wit it
don’t know he got it
& I’m shoutin this is mine
& he dont know he got it/
My stuff is the anonymous ripped off treasure of the year
Did you know somebody almost got away wit me?
Me in a plastic bag under their arm
Me
Danglin on a string of personal carelessness
I’m spattered wit mud & city rain
& no I didn’t get a chance to take a douche

Hey man!
This is not your prerogative
I gotta have me in my pocket
To get round like a good woman should
& make the poem in the pot or the chicken in the dance
What i got to do
I gotta get my stuff to do it too
Why dont ya find your own things
& leave this package of me for my destiny
What ya got to get from me?
I’ll give it to ya
Yeh i’ll give it to ya
Round 5:00 in the winter
When the sky is blue-red
& Dew City is gettin pressed
If it’s really my stuff
Ya gotta give it to me
If ya really want it
I’m the only one
Can HANDLE it