Yesterday, I heard about a recent protest at the University of Lagos’ Faculty of Arts over some lecherous lecturers and their proclivity for preying on young, female students. Some students reported being forced to trade sexual favours for favourable grades.

The entire tale of woe made me remember a discussion I’d had a few years ago. It was a conversation in my uncle’s house with two uncles, two aunties, daddy, mummy and I. I still remember that day, the quiet whir of the air conditioner and the reduced muttering of the voices on screen did nothing to distract me from the conversation going on in the sitting room as my parents and their friends discussed the only way we know how, loudly. 🙂

Random aside, people sometimes wonder at my assertiveness …then they meet my dad who is actually very quiet but with a very strong sense of self, or watch my mum who is a one-woman-riot band with the sort of character and fierce integrity that is scarce today… or they just visit my house and watch interactions between all of us and a light of comprehension is kindled in their eyes. I love my home, it’s boisterous and warm, like a favourite provisional aunt.

So, sitting in the living room hearing the loud discussion bounce from politics to social ills, war and good governance (you know, the basics in every household), the discussion ended at the final bus stop in many a tirade by Nigerian adults, ‘The Problem with Nigeria’s Youth.’ My mum’s gripe was largely the fact that we abuse social media; instead of using it to broker change, she thinks we misuse it for gratuitous selfies and sexting. But that’s gist for another day, this day’s debate centred on dressing.

The talk landed at young Nigerian women’s dressing. At this point a visiting uncle boldly suggested that women are the architects of their destruction. Apparently the way women dress today encourages the violent reaction of men. So, he held, lecturers should not be blamed for sexually violating students in return for good grades, or even clients raping girls who are sent out for marketing by the banks and encouraged to dress salaciously. After all, my uncle said, “…our forefathers say that if a woman stands naked in the market place, she should not be surprised by the events that unfold”. By the time he was done with his tirade, we were left in no doubt that Nigeria’s women and their scandalous dressing was the core reason offices don’t function effectively, the school system is failing and the state of the nation is aptly summarised by the word, crisis.

And that right there ladies and gentlemen, is honestly why Nigeria is a third world country.

Ignorance.

Who knew that the way women dress was the source of Nigeria’s failing? And there babygirl was thinking wearing ‘jeans and a t-shirt’ was fine, not knowing her dressing is the cause of the nation’s woes. Oh! If only we women would cover our mammary glands and not wear those damned thongs Nigeria’s streets would be paved with gold, indeed silver taps the nation over would gush forth clean water unto well paved streets as electrons finally collide to provide constant electricity to the masses.

WOMEN! You are the real problem with Nigeria!!

Right.

You see, the only reason this indecent exposure issue gives me pause is that it reveals a deeper-rooted problem in our society. Even if we all went out covered burka style, there would still be the one man for whom the sight of a woman’s earwax alone is a sufficient catalyst for arousal. Yet, we say our women are not the true victims in a sexual harassment claim because they wear ‘revealing’ outfits. We say that these poor lecturers consistently inundated with young students in scandalous outfits are the real victims, because these women by their dressing are effectively asking to be derogated to, fondled, raped or worse. Now, following this to its logical conclusion, is it perhaps correct to suggest that our men cannot control their baser urges? Are we saying that these lecturers, these Nigerian men are so tempted that they forget all human capacity for reasoning and regress to reliance on baser primal instincts that they cannot control? They seize without summon, because like animals in the wild, they are not able to keep their primal instincts in check?

Because if we are, we have the same fear as those racist so-and-sos we always condemn. Those colonialists, neo or otherwise, who believe the African man is sub-human; half man and half beast, stuck in his current crisis due to an inability to dominate his baser urges.

So, are we racists too?

We think that our Nigerian men should not be blamed because our voluptuous women tempt them beyond their control? Our 21st century men, our lecturers in all their wisdom and knowledge, our bank managers with their power and intelligence should not be held accountable for ravaging and desecrating a woman’s body because she looked too appealing and even further enhanced her appeal by her dressing, for them to do otherwise?

Well this is good news! Now at least I know that those lecturers in the premiere universities in the western world, with students half dressed in the summer heat MUST be lesser men than these our Nigerian lecturers. These foreign men who do not only theorise reasonability and intellect but actually practicalise their preaching, by restraining their baser urges and respecting the students whom they are employed to educate, MUST be lesser men.

O.K.

Let us continue to excuse the actions of our men and heap the blame on the neatly braided skulls of our women as this will make those gold-paved Nigerian streets and silver taps of sparkling water a reality.

*Shrugs*