I’ve always been a practical woman. Less sweet and nice, more roll-up-sleeves-and-get-to-it. I generally try to be a helpful person, it’s a trait my family members share…my mum and second sister are the champion ‘fixer-uppers’; getting people jobs, finding housemates for people in new cities, matchmaking (mum’s exclusive preserve*ahem*) etc. They’re Leo’s so that makes sense, if you believe that sort of thing. I’m no Leo but I’m Libran(?) and I guess I’ve been inspired by Mum to work at being of service to others.

This has always been the case, but I feel as though since this year began, I have had an especially strong yearning to help others. As a result, I write from underneath a pile of work, unbillable office hours and unpaid personal hours. Tons of (largely) happily rendered free services. Now, despite all this good energy I’m putting out into the universe, it appears I must LOVE to worry, because this keen desire to help others out made me begin to psycho-analyse myself. I wondered, “…why am I so moved to help X when I can happily walk away, maybe I have some sort of maniacal Saviour Complex?”/”What do I hope to achieve?”/”Who am I that I think I can influence his situation for the better??”/”Do I think I am better than the people I am helping??!”. So, I worried about it and prayed a lot and slowly a few things started to become clear to me.

For one thing, one of my 2013 resolutions is to be kinder. I find it so fasinating that since I’ve resolved to be kinder in my mind, God daily presents opportunities to show kindness to others and to myself. These opportunities are R.A.N.D.O.M to say the least! In the last month I have rescued a 6 year old from a locked toilet in an empty hotel, given out money I did not have, started an English class teaching young cleaners at my office, volunteered to help create a Work Experience Program at the youth church and more. I am fascinated by the fact that as soon as I made that committment to be kinder, God brought the opportunities my way.

Sceondly, I am beginning to understand that my work is my service to God. I am a steward of every gifting, every ability he has given to me and the way to truly express my gratitude is simply to USE these abilities. And, when I use my giftings to serve others, to help, to enable and to empower, I am giving God worship and praise. My focus therefore becomes trying always to ensure that my work is relevant, useful and excellent. Some people worship in church for hours, I give God worship through my hands, in my work.

Finally, I am learning that we are called to be useful. That is our primary purpose; to be useful to others, not as we desire but to be useful in accordance with our abilities. What can YOU do? How can it help? That is what is important. In worrying that I had some sort of saviour complex, I remember praying and randomly, the parable of the talents came to mind. You are given a lot (of capabilities not just financial wealth), simply so that you also can give. You have to maximise your giftings while you’re alive. That is what I promised myself this year. All the abilities he has given me, I will use. I will write, draw, drum, paint, dance etc. I will LIVE! And it’s funny, as soon as you start to use your talent, like the stewards in the parable, your talents multiply! It’s almost as though as I liberate my heart and give myself the gift of openness, I feel myself letting go of so much random B.S I held unto consciously or otherwise. I am lighter, I am freer , I am kinder, I am more useful…to myself and to others.

After many years, I finally understand the importance of my high school’s motto; “Loyola Jesuit College, Service of God and Others”. There is no higher calling than service; it is the means of enforcing every virtue.

The Parable of the Talents

14 For it is like a man who was about to take a long journey, and he called his servants together and entrusted them with his property. 15 To one he gave five talents [probably about $5,000], to another two, to another one—to each in proportion to his own personal ability. Then he departed and left the country. 16 He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he gained five talents more. 17 And likewise he who had received the two talents—he also gained two talents more. 18 But he who had received the one talent went and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money. 19 Now after a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20 And he who had received the five talents came and brought him five more, saying, Master, you entrusted to me five talents; see, here I have gained five talents more. 21 His master said to him, Well done, you upright (honorable, admirable) and faithful servant! You have been faithful and trustworthy over a little; I will put you in charge of much. Enter into and share the joy (the delight, the blessedness) which your master enjoys. 22 And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, Master, you entrusted two talents to me; here I have gained two talents more. 23 His master said to him, Well done, you upright (honorable, admirable) and faithful servant! You have been faithful and trustworthy over a little; I will put you in charge of much. Enter into and share the joy (the delight, the blessedness) which your master enjoys. 24 He who had received one talent also came forward, saying, Master, I knew you to be a harsh and hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you had not winnowed [the grain]. 25 So I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is your own. 26 But his master answered him, You wicked and lazy and idle servant! Did you indeed know that I reap where I have not sowed and gather [grain] where I have not winnowed? 27 Then you should have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received what was my own with interest. 28 So take the talent away from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will be [f]furnished richly so that he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have will be taken away. 30 And throw the good-for-nothing servant into the outer darkness; there will be weeping and grinding of teeth.

Matthew 25:14-30. Amplified Bible (AMP)

We will account for our use or waste of our abilities.